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Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Other Woman Texted Me
huskers
♀ Member
Member # 42168
Default  Posted: 4:15 PM, February 11th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I thought I had her blocked. Apparently didn't. got this:

Well you have managed to scrape the bottom of the barrel. Call your husband's own mother and asking her for money. As if your husband wouldn't take care of his own son. Telling people he's on drugs. U wish he was so u had a legitimate reason to believe why he left u. That reason being me. U keep talking shit about me. Trying to friend request your 15 year old son? Really? Liar! Did I happen to mention my best friend is an auditor? Keep playing with me. I'll make sure your husband gets the best attorney money can buy.

I am ignoring her texts. I have clarification of where my husband is now, with her full force. He is telling her everything and sharing everything about our life. Why does that surprise me? I am so far underground with not replying to either one of them. What do they want from me? Why am I the enemy? I told my husband she tried to friend my son on FB. He wanted proof!


Posts: 101 | Registered: Jan 2014
SisterMilkshake
♀ Member
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 4:22 PM, February 11th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What a see you next Tuesday she is!

*Crickets* is the way to go, you are right. I am sorry they are determined to try and hurt you more. (((huskers)))


BW (me) 50ish FWH 50ish
Married 34 years, 3 children
d-day 3/10 LTA (4 yrs./fucking & flirting)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson


Posts: 9404 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
NikkiD
♀ Member
Member # 38173
Default  Posted: 4:24 PM, February 11th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Make sure you keep this message.


"Spoil me with Loyalty; I can finance myself...."
ME: BS-33
HE: WS-32
Married 3 years, known 20
2 kids
D-Day #1 12/30/12
False Recovery
D-Day #2 1/21/14
LTA 5 years-ish
Riding the "Struggle Bus"
Living apart....

Posts: 668 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Midwest
Truly
♀ Member
Member # 40715
Default  Posted: 4:26 PM, February 11th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am so sorry x

Now you know you cannot speak to him about anything except money and children. He is totally lost to all sense.

I hope you have a lawyer because it sounds like you will need one. If you receive more vitriol or threats take it to the police, they may not be able to do anything but it will be on file.

Please don't believe her and don't second guess yourself. You know the truth, you did nothing wrong. She is an awful excuse for a human being. Your opinion will be quite clear through your silence.

Kia kaha x


There are dark shadows on the earth, but its lights are stronger in the contrast.
Charles Dickens


Posts: 257 | Registered: Sep 2013
huskers
♀ Member
Member # 42168
Default  Posted: 4:31 PM, February 11th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you. It did shake me. It does tell me what I suspected. He initiated R conversation, but obviously is still with her. What do they want from me?

While I was sitting at my desk last week I got a call from a policeman. He said she was saying I was in her parking lot. She owns a hair salon. I said, uh, no. This is a landline right? I am not there. He laughed and felt stupid. She is grasping at things, and I don't know why. Why do they hate me so much?


Posts: 101 | Registered: Jan 2014
Holly-Isis
♀ Member
Member # 13447
Default  Posted: 4:32 PM, February 11th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Don't talk to your WH. Email, text. Document everything, keep copies or all communication including that text. Keep it all business.

"We have this bill due on this date. It is this amount."

"This is to confirm that you will be picking DS up at this time on this date and will be returning him at this time."

Go dark, completely dark otherwise. Everything you say and do is going to be twisted. They are using this to bond in some warped way. If you can, consult a lawyer. Her mentioning her best friend being an auditor could be construed as a threat.

I'm sorry that he's invited this disgusting example of a human into your life. You have to do what you can to minimize her impact. Based on the fact that she knows some of what you've said to others, I would avoid talking to anyone you cannot completely trust to keep information to themselves.

Come here if you need a shoulder or need to vent.


"Being in love" first moved them to promise fidelity: this quieter love enables them to keep the promise. *CS Lewis*

❣I hope my issues don't discourage ur healing. I've buried a lot & my WH hasn't done his part in R❣


Posts: 10990 | Registered: Jan 2007 | From: Limbo
huskers
♀ Member
Member # 42168
Default  Posted: 4:39 PM, February 11th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have a snapshot of the text. Is that good enough or what do I need to do?

Posts: 101 | Registered: Jan 2014
Holly-Isis
♀ Member
Member # 13447
Default  Posted: 4:44 PM, February 11th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think that's good enough.

Write down about the call from the police. Did he give you his name and contact information? If so, write that down. If not, call the police station and try to get it. You can use this is she later files a false report or as proof of harassment.

It's not you or anything you did. These people are in a sick situation making sick choices. In order to make themselves feel better about what horrible choices they are making they have turned you into the enemy.

I'm so sorry you have to deal with the pain of an A and then this treatment on top of it.

If you go down to the Divorce/Separation forum they have a good amount of knowledge on how to deal with people like this.


"Being in love" first moved them to promise fidelity: this quieter love enables them to keep the promise. *CS Lewis*

❣I hope my issues don't discourage ur healing. I've buried a lot & my WH hasn't done his part in R❣


Posts: 10990 | Registered: Jan 2007 | From: Limbo
BrooklynLove
♀ Member
Member # 41800
Default  Posted: 4:46 PM, February 11th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Get a lawyer an go dark . She sees that she is losing him and is grasping at straws to keep him. You have to be the bad guy in there minds to keep there sick relationship going. Go dark and don't speak to him about anything but kids and finances.


Will never be naive again...

BW - Me (28)
WH - Him my JH sweetheart (33)
Married - 8 years
2 babies - DD (3) and DD (5 months)
OW#1 - PA with classmate for 2 months
OW#2 - Some slut living oversees that needs a green card. EA & PA going on


Posts: 110 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: USA
huskers
♀ Member
Member # 42168
Default  Posted: 4:50 PM, February 11th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you God I am a paralegal. I feel comfortable in the legal area. I knew I could change the locks, I knew I could move money. My attorneys I work for are like pit bulls looking at a kitten right now. They are fighting over who gets to go to war for me. I'm very, very lucky.

Yes I have the name of the officer who called me.

You think she's scared of losing him? I don't even know if I should be trying to figure this out? It's like they are trying to make me go crazy so they can have the house, the money, the kids. God help me have strength....and you all are helping me. Thank you.


Posts: 101 | Registered: Jan 2014
norabird
♀ Member
Member # 42092
Default  Posted: 4:54 PM, February 11th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am going back and forth between being horrified for you and laughing at how adolescent this person sounds. I'm so sorry this has become your reality.

Stay strong. Keep your wagons circled! We're rooting for you.


Sit. Feast on your life.

Posts: 3746 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: NYC
huskers
♀ Member
Member # 42168
Default  Posted: 4:54 PM, February 11th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Can people read this stuff that don't belong to the site? I don't even trust that they aren't reading this.

Posts: 101 | Registered: Jan 2014
huskers
♀ Member
Member # 42168
Default  Posted: 4:57 PM, February 11th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you NoraBird.

I am horrified that after 30 years together he would feed someone info on me and let her, even encourage her, to treat the mother of his children like this. Truly evil

[This message edited by huskers at 5:14 PM, February 11th (Tuesday)]


Posts: 101 | Registered: Jan 2014
whattheh
♀ Member
Member # 40032
Default  Posted: 5:04 PM, February 11th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

She sounds really nasty. Like others say keep all communication from her. If the harassment continues you may want to consider asking the police for help. Such as restraining order or a watch list for stalking? That way they know the "real story" instead of her false complaints with them about you being in her parking lot??

Also would it make sense for you to send her text to your WS? Since he was broaching R perhaps this would help him see the true colors of the OW? You could keep it factual and just say you want him to be in the loop esp. Since your son was mentioned in her text?

[This message edited by whattheh at 5:08 PM, February 11th (Tuesday)]


BW- mid 50's (me)
fWH-late 50's
M 33 T 35
DD-Early 2013
In R but I have PTSD...

Posts: 484 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: USA
huskers
♀ Member
Member # 42168
Default  Posted: 5:08 PM, February 11th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Her original text to me was that she and her husband weren't together, so don't even bother telling him. My husband tells me they are together. I have friends that have gone by their house and both vehicles are there. I want to tell him but I don't think I can deal with more drama at this point. Is that why she is doing this to me? Is that why he is doing this to me? Warning me not tell him? Wouldn't you think in their minds they are pushing me to tell him by making me mad?

[This message edited by huskers at 5:08 PM, February 11th (Tuesday)]


Posts: 101 | Registered: Jan 2014
Jrazz
♀ Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 5:11 PM, February 11th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Can people read this stuff that don't belong to the site? I don't even trust that they aren't reading this.

Yes. The forums are public so anyone can read this. Keep your cards close to your chest. Keep a copy of that text too, in any form you can think of. Maybe you can get a phone record to back it up. If her auditor "friend" has half a brain she'll advise OW to stop harassing you or she's going to be the one in legal trouble.

(((huskers)))


We are what we repeatedly do, excellence, then is not an act but a habit. - Aristotle

Posts: 16420 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
huskers
♀ Member
Member # 42168
Default  Posted: 5:12 PM, February 11th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh great. Should or can I delete anything I have put on here?

Posts: 101 | Registered: Jan 2014
outside4me
♂ Member
Member # 42430
Default  Posted: 5:33 PM, February 11th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think AP is concerned that WH is attempting R, and is working HARD to get you out of the picture/assassinate your character. I think WH has been getting pressured by AP in regards to a potential R with you, so he shares info with her and probably participates in disparaging you to prove his loyalty. No honor amongst thieves, so she'll still doubt (which I think is deliciously sweet karma and ironic as all get out!). GO DARK and text/email WH only... for your protection. Awesome that your coworker lawyers are in your corner... let them help protect you from this horrible situation. I'm still reeling from my DDay 3 weeks ago, and don't have nearly the shit storm you're going through. Good luck, and know that you've got support here whenever you need it!

Posts: 218 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: Colorado
huskers
♀ Member
Member # 42168
Default  Posted: 5:44 PM, February 11th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think you are right Outside 4 Me. We were actually talking about R last week I was able to see the bill online. She called him before we met. She called him after we met. I also think they are both royally pissed off because I told his mom. I told her her name. I told her everything. I was tired of lying about why he was never here when she called. I am not letting them have their beautiful romantic plan of an affair any more am I? lol

Posts: 101 | Registered: Jan 2014
risingfromashes
♀ Member
Member # 3903
Default  Posted: 5:54 PM, February 11th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The reason for this BS: If they make you out to be the bad guy it justifies their morally bankrupt behavior. He had to leave you for her because you are a liar. Really??


She is a piece of work. Do not engage either of them. Their ship will sink.


There is life on the other side of hell.

Posts: 1587 | Registered: Mar 2004
Topic Posts: 34
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