Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-
Find a Local Couselor
like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: ReasonableDoubt (44577)

Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: WS feels entitled to private friendships
PhoenixRisen
Member
Member # 35912
Default  Posted: 4:31 PM, February 12th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

How in the world do you counter someone who says that they "should be allowed" to have private friends?

by saying:
I should be allowed to trust you and anything "private" or "secret" will not give me the safe environment I need to trust you.

Posts: 474 | Registered: Jun 2012
outtanowhere
♀ Member
Member # 39001
Default  Posted: 5:09 PM, February 12th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I get what you mean but, untrustworthy spouses ARE a big problem!


BS - 57
SAWH - 60 multiple encounters with prostitutes and other sex workers
Married 37 years
Dday - 2/19/13 - found the emails
He promised me Heaven then put me thru hell

Posts: 705 | Registered: Apr 2013
whattheh
♀ Member
Member # 40032
Default  Posted: 5:15 PM, February 12th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I would say that he has proven he is unworthy to be trusted with opposite sex friends. The fact he is fighting for this is a red flag IMHO.

Also I would say that so many women tend to get the wrong idea when a male tries to befriend them and that there are countless stories of even mutual female friends enticing and cheating with an H to steal him away. It's just a reality and my fWH and I are keeping this to a minmum to lessen my worries. Why should you have to deal with thoughts and worries like this after what he has done to you?

The fact he is demanding this shows he doesn't have enough empathy for you. He just doesn't get it does he?

[This message edited by whattheh at 5:17 PM, February 12th (Wednesday)]


BW- mid 50's (me)
fWH-late 50's
M 33 T 35
DD-Early 2013
In R but I have PTSD...

Posts: 514 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: USA
hopefulmother
♀ Member
Member # 38790
Default  Posted: 5:26 PM, February 12th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Again....have him read "Just Friends" or read some of it to him. WAlls And Windows


Me-BW 39
WH-39
D-day 9-4-12
Major TT 8-14
Friends for 20yrs dating since 2000
Married 9yrs with 2 toddlers
My wedding band is a symbol of hope, forgiveness, love, and grace.

Posts: 931 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: PA
Realizationland
♀ New Member
Member # 42413
Default  Posted: 3:28 PM, February 13th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Where can I find "Just Friends"? I looked in the Healing Library and can't find it.


Me - BS
Him - WH
Together 17 years, married 14

Posts: 20 | Registered: Feb 2014
pmal64
♀ Member
Member # 13551
Default  Posted: 3:38 PM, February 13th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

library or bookstore.

Not Just Friends by Dr. Shirley Glass

hugs and strength to you!

or if you do Amazon, there is a link on the left that helps fund SI

[This message edited by pmal64 at 3:39 PM, February 13th (Thursday)]


.:~*~:. .:~*~:..:~*~:. .:~*~:..:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:..:~*~:.
BS-me-50
fWH -54

Posts: 568 | Registered: Feb 2007 | From: down south
Lovedyoumore
♀ Member
Member # 35593
Default  Posted: 3:44 PM, February 13th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I would also explore his push back at you, citing the fact you are not his mother. If he sees you as his mature life partner and wife, he would not be throwing that out at you. This is not your fault. He may have very immature coping skills and reverting back to the teenage mentality is his way of pushing you away so he can pursue his life.


Me 52
WH 52
Married 30+ years
Together trying to R

I tell people I am tired but really my heart is broken and I am sad.


Posts: 1426 | Registered: May 2012 | From: Southern, bless your heart
Realizationland
♀ New Member
Member # 42413
Default  Posted: 8:56 AM, February 14th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Pmal64, thank you -- I'll look that up.

Loveyoumore, thank you for that observation. I think you're exactly right. So often in our marriage I've thought, "This is like talking to a fifteen year old!" He treats me like I'm his mother, like I'm a snooping in-his-business mother who has negative opinions about his girlfriends, and then he accuses me of mothering him!

Today is going to be a rough day.


Me - BS
Him - WH
Together 17 years, married 14

Posts: 20 | Registered: Feb 2014
Topic Posts: 28
Pages: 1 · 2

Return to Forum: Just Found Out Post Reply to this Topic
adultry
Go to :
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.