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User Topic: The Shock
LostSamurai
♂ Member
Member # 41347
Default  Posted: 8:12 PM, February 3rd (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Today, I took my WW and DD out to eat. My WW tells me yesterday that she went out to eat with a couple of co-workers. She asked if it was just going to be them and guess who shows up.

DUH DUH DUH DUUUUH. AFP # 2.

She said she didn't talk to him and she wanted to tell me face to face but couldn't get me alone yesterday. He tried to text her and deleted it right away she said. She also said another guy try to contact her through Facebook and she deleted it and didn't response.

My reaction, calm and collective.
She sounded like she was more upset than me that he showed up.

We are not in R, yet but this sounds like a good start in my opinion.

As always, WS Welcome.


I am now nothing by a mere Ronin.

Posts: 1029 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Maryland
Brandon808
♂ Member
Member # 35619
Default  Posted: 8:56 PM, February 3rd (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

She said she didn't talk to him and she wanted to tell me face to face but couldn't get me alone yesterday.
I don't really buy that. Couldn't she have said at some point "There's something I need to tell you in private/away from the kid"?

He tried to text her and deleted it right away she said. She also said another guy try to contact her through Facebook and she deleted it and didn't response.
The problem is that because she deleted it you only have her word for it. Also, the fact that she could delete it means she hasn't blocked him from receiving any texts.

So this could be a positive sign or it could be more gaslighting.


xBH
D final 8/2012

Posts: 3652 | Registered: May 2012 | From: southeast
LostSamurai
♂ Member
Member # 41347
Default  Posted: 9:26 PM, February 3rd (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

At this point, I am in a mode where she can choose to comeback or divorce. She has to make smarter choices to insure protect of the marriage and to make sure everything is ok but I gave her some credit for taking these small steps.

She in my opinion is na´ve.

[This message edited by LostSamurai at 9:27 PM, February 3rd (Monday)]


I am now nothing by a mere Ronin.

Posts: 1029 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Maryland
Ostrich80
Member
Member # 34827
Default  Posted: 1:26 AM, February 4th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I would think if she was going to be forthcoming with this info, she would have NOT deleted the texts or fbk message whatever it was.


BS..me
WS..him
Been with him over half my life
4kid
DD1 10-01-09 DD2 02-12-12 discovered it never ended
OW..nothing special. Just your average skank
Status..#$%@????

Posts: 4717 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: midwest
stronger08
♂ Member
Member # 16953
Default  Posted: 1:47 AM, February 4th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'd be very suspicious of all the deleting she does. Her behavior stinks of attempted cake eating if you ask me. Its very common for a WS to toss out a few lies to cover up for some major omissions. As was said by anther member "All you have is her word" and we all know that a WS word doesn't mean shit in the real world. Instead of giving her kudos for telling you what happened, you should be asking her why she deletes whatever evidence there could be to back up her story. Maybe I'm jaded because I've been down this road before, but I think she is full of shit. Beware of Greeks bearing gifts !!!!


You cant eat soup with chopsticks.

Posts: 5558 | Registered: Nov 2007
steadfast1973
♀ Member
Member # 24719
Default  Posted: 6:24 AM, February 4th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Old habits die hard. It is a good start. She may have thought deleting the texts would show how little she cared for OM. Starting R is hard to maneuver for everyone. Some things have to be completely relearned.


Me- 40- BS Him- 36- WH D-day#1 5/25/09 3 mo. EA d-day#2 11/06/13 Prostitute 11/5/13 in R
"I've seen your flag on the marble arch, our love is not a victory march, it's a cold and broken hallelujah."- Leonard Cohen

Posts: 2212 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Midwest
KatieG
♀ Member
Member # 41222
Default  Posted: 6:36 AM, February 4th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Agree, next time she needs to show you the txts - can you undelete them?

Also, they should be blocked on her phone. Hmm, I wouldn't be 100% happy with this. But I guess baby steps.


DD#1 - 6th Oct 13 - TT
DD#2 - 9th Nov 13 - Full disclosure
DD#3 - 12th May 14 - FOG lifted and in R
7 week A, 2 weeks together, rest phone and email - PA and EA

Posts: 388 | Registered: Nov 2013
Topic Posts: 7

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