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User Topic: One step forward, 28 steps back!
FoggedIn
♀ Member
Member # 40329
Concerned  Posted: 4:47 PM, February 3rd (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Since WH started back to IC, it seemed things were actually making progress. He seemed to start recognizing some of his issues. His selfishness our entire marriage, the fact that my existence was unimportant to him until he needed/wanted something, a small awareness of the gravity of our current situation or the devastation heís caused. Heís actually looking forward to his counseling sessions which I never thought Iíd hear him say!

We put MC on hold until he spends some time in IC working on his issues. Also looking for a new MC, our current one isnít actually dealing with the A at all, wants to discuss communication and all the usual warm fuzzy M stuff. Weíre definitely not there yet!
Iím still confident that WH has skeletons in his closet heís refusing to disclose. Still denies he knows anything about the porn charges on the cc, other questionable activity while on business trips, etc.

I asked him to sleep in the guest room over a month ago and heís been in there ever since. Hasnít complained much until recently, now Iím getting a serious guilt trip about his Ďqualityí of sleep on that tiny bed, heís exhausted all the time etc. He stayed in our bed with me this weekend and I made it clear in the beginning it was only for the weekend and he agreed that he understood and would not assume anything further. Yet last night, when he tried to pressure me into letting him stay again and I said no (not in a hateful uncaring way, I just said I wasnít ready), he slammed doors, cussed, acted like a complete ass! Thatís his normal response when he doesnít get his way btw!

Just when I think thereís progress, then something doesnít go his way and weíre way back to the beginning! Itís not that I expect perfection, I just expect that heís thinking about someone besides himself. Especially after he professes to be understanding that he needs to put my needs before his own!


D-Day 1 8/8/13 :: WH was with prostitute, I found the physical evidence 24 hours later.
Much has happened since.
Not sure where we're at....... MC, IC, R'ish

Posts: 200 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Southwest US
seenow
♀ Member
Member # 40720
Default  Posted: 5:02 PM, February 3rd (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

OY FoggedIn. I am not in a good place myself. You can look down the list here and read where I am now. Pretty sure I am not real qualified in judging wayward behavior....but.....

Don't you feel like he is a child throwing a tantrum because he didn't get his way? Poor baby! Don't you feel like you are talking to a rock who nods understanding then does the same thing again? I hear you!!!!!!


ME: BS mid 40's
Him: WH mid 40's
DDay 5/13 5 year LTA, ONS
together 25 yrs
1 kiddo

Posts: 277 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: mountain west
steadfast1973
♀ Member
Member # 24719
Default  Posted: 5:04 PM, February 3rd (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Trickle truth always makes you question if there's more.., and... There usually is.

[This message edited by steadfast1973 at 5:05 PM, February 3rd (Monday)]


Me- 40- BS Him- 36- WH D-day#1 5/25/09 3 mo. EA d-day#2 11/06/13 Prostitute 11/5/13 in R
"I've seen your flag on the marble arch, our love is not a victory march, it's a cold and broken hallelujah."- Leonard Cohen

Posts: 2250 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Midwest
wanttogoforward
♀ Member
Member # 29912
Default  Posted: 6:25 PM, February 3rd (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Is the fool actually denying how porn charges got in his CC??? If he truly has no idea he would be enraged thinking his CC had been compromised and would be on the phone to the CC company in a heartbeat! And really... does he think you are so dumb to believe that the person who hacked his CC also went on all his business trips at the same time?

He is in denial and lying... that's all I can think of.... and he is playing you... do more digging because where there is smoke there is fire!


Posts: 1174 | Registered: Oct 2010 | From: still lost
FoggedIn
♀ Member
Member # 40329
Default  Posted: 10:58 PM, February 3rd (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Seenow - exactly like a child having a tantrum! Sometimes I wish we were filming all this so I could show him the highlight reel.

Wantogo... - He actually went as far as to try & blame one of our older kids (23 now, would've been 21 at the time of the charges) for the porn charges. Of course they don't possess his credit card, but use it for the occasional tank of gas when they're home from college. He wasn't suspicious enough to grill him about it though!! Says enough for me! What kid would sign up for a monthly porn subscription (kid over the age of 14 with a brain!) using his dad's credit card? The timing of the porn just so happens to coincide with a major slump in our sex life where I got rejected regularly.

It's all such a load of bs! I'm so hopeful that IC will bring some clarity!


D-Day 1 8/8/13 :: WH was with prostitute, I found the physical evidence 24 hours later.
Much has happened since.
Not sure where we're at....... MC, IC, R'ish

Posts: 200 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Southwest US
FoggedIn
♀ Member
Member # 40329
Default  Posted: 3:15 PM, February 4th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Still upset about the sleeping arrangement as of today.

He said he's considering staying with family. He can't function much longer sleeping on that little bed.

How many BS's out there that are sleeping in a warm comfy bed actually get a solid 8 hours??
I know I haven't in 6 months! Actually have an appointment with my doc tomorrow. I bet I get 4 hours max! Stare at the ceiling til 1 am, wake up crying at some point, wake up from a bad dream at some other point, finally give up around 5:30.

Maybe I should spend a week at the Ritz with daily spa treatments & see if I'll sleep better.


D-Day 1 8/8/13 :: WH was with prostitute, I found the physical evidence 24 hours later.
Much has happened since.
Not sure where we're at....... MC, IC, R'ish

Posts: 200 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Southwest US
Topic Posts: 6

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