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Newest Member: LiarsandFools (44201)

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User Topic: Waters breaking at 20 weeks?
purplejacket4
♀ Member
Member # 34262
Default  Posted: 6:54 PM, February 3rd (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If it was a small leak it can reseal.

If it was large miscarriage is inevitable. I'm sorry.


Me: BS 45
Her: fWS 48 (same sex partner)
Together: 18 years now (both MDs)
OW: meh so what 40s PhD
DD1: 10/30/11EA; DD2: 11/10/11 Had ONS; TT until 12/26/11; broke NC 6/12; NC again 7/12; R-ish

Posts: 2069 | Registered: Dec 2011 | From: Great Southwest
Please1983
♀ Member
Member # 35894
Default  Posted: 2:58 AM, February 5th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

They had to induce labour because SIL was starting to show sings of infection. They had said the wee baby might be born alive but would die quickly but she came out dead. At least they didn't have to watch her suffer.
Heartbroken for them. I had no idea I would feel this bad about it. It really feels like our family has lost a member. I can't imagine what they are feeling.
Concerned for SIL aswell. She had postnatal depression after having her little girl and her mum just died unexpectedly in December, the baby was something for her to look forward to. Worried it's all gonna hit her hard now.


BS me 30
WS him 31 (thankyou1981)
OW 19 year old at his work
Together 9 years
3 boys. 4, 3 and baby.
D-day 20 aug 2011

Posts: 197 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: UK
MovingUpward
♂ Guide
Member # 14866
Default  Posted: 8:44 AM, February 5th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So sad. I will keep your SIL in my prayers.


AKA Moo

Think of the haters in your life as sandpaper; they’ll scratch you up time and time again but in the end you’re polished, smooth, and spotless..while they end up useless

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.


Posts: 51420 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Big Blue Nation
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 8:45 AM, February 5th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm so very sorry, Please. ((((SIL & family))))


You can call me NIK

Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something.
- Plato


Posts: 24366 | Registered: Aug 2011
jo2love
♀ Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 10:39 AM, February 5th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((SIL & family))))

I am so sorry.


Posts: 33697 | Registered: Mar 2011
JanaGreen
♀ Member
Member # 29341
Default  Posted: 11:14 AM, February 5th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm so sorry.


We're both in our 30s. One awesome 4-year-old daughter.

Posts: 6510 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Somewhere in the South
tushnurse
♀ Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 11:54 AM, February 5th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Please))))

So sorry.


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 7785 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
Kelany
♀ Member
Member # 34755
Default  Posted: 12:07 PM, February 5th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm so very sorry.


BS - Me
SA/FWH Him
DDay 1 - Jul 11
DDay 2 - Jul 12
R Dec 12

Former 80s Icon wishful thinking


Posts: 2031 | Registered: Feb 2012
betrayedfriend
♀ Member
Member # 19785
Default  Posted: 12:37 PM, February 5th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am so very sorry, your family is in my prayers


I originally joined SI as a way to help my best friends find ways of coping with infidelity, but now infidelity has touched my family much closer to home.

Posts: 855 | Registered: Jun 2008 | From: Midwest USA
Please1983
♀ Member
Member # 35894
Default  Posted: 1:48 PM, February 5th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank yous all.


BS me 30
WS him 31 (thankyou1981)
OW 19 year old at his work
Together 9 years
3 boys. 4, 3 and baby.
D-day 20 aug 2011

Posts: 197 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: UK
DeadMumWalking
♀ Member
Member # 25341
Default  Posted: 1:54 PM, February 5th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((SIL & angelbaby))))


Me (BS), Him (WH): early 50's
3 DS: teens!!! :)
M: 24 (19 1/2 at Dday), Together 29
Dday: Dec 2008
re-separated (in-house), for good (??) <-- should really remove these, shouldn't I...

Posts: 2537 | Registered: Aug 2009 | From: EU
timeforchange
♀ Member
Member # 27454
Default  Posted: 2:16 PM, February 5th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ah Please... I was so hoping your niece/nephew was going to be another NHS miracle.

So sorry for you all and SIL and Brother.


Me = BS aged 43
2 boys, 13 and 9
DDay 1/19/10
Confronted him 2/16/10
Finally Divorced 8/29/12

“We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us.”


Posts: 726 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Expats in Europe
cmego
♀ Member
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 3:42 PM, February 5th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Please and family))))


me...BS, 43 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, together 17
Divorced

"For whatever we lose, like a you or a me, it's always ourselves we find in the sea" ee cummings


Posts: 4002 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Virginia
wildbananas
♀ Member
Member # 10552
Default  Posted: 4:16 PM, February 5th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Please and family)))


Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light. ~ Yogi Bhajan

Posts: 15358 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Now an AZ girl
HFSSC
♀ Member
Member # 33338
Default  Posted: 11:30 PM, February 5th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Some things you can do:

It's possible the hospital took pictures of the baby, even if your SIL didn't. They will often keep a file for years so that parents can come back for them later. Offer to be the safe-keeper of those memories if you are up to it. Are they going to have a funeral? That can be incredibly healing to do, and some funeral homes and cemeteries will deeply discount their fees in situations like this.

Remember the baby's due date. Send a card or some flowers or something.

Above all, don't be afraid to talk about the baby. Use her name. Make sure her parents know that they are not the only ones who will remember her.

((()))))


Me, 47
Him, 40 (JMSSC)
married 17 years. In R. We are making it. The past does not define who we are today.

Posts: 2654 | Registered: Sep 2011 | From: South Carolina
Please1983
♀ Member
Member # 35894
Default  Posted: 3:17 AM, February 6th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

HFSSC - thank you for the suggestions. The hospital have been great with them and helped them make a lot of decisions. At first SIL wasn't sure she would want to see the baby but she changed her mind and the baby was kept with them right up till SIL got discharged, she was kept in for 24 hours due to some complications with getting the whole placenta out.
They have took lots of photos themselves, I got to see some last night when my brother came to collect their 3 year old who has been staying with me.
She was tiny but perfect, they have called her Lilly.
They are going to have a service just for the two of them next week.
I will remember the due date and mark it in some way.
I will talk about her too. I won't forget her.
Thank you all for the prayers and kindness.


BS me 30
WS him 31 (thankyou1981)
OW 19 year old at his work
Together 9 years
3 boys. 4, 3 and baby.
D-day 20 aug 2011

Posts: 197 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: UK
Exit Wounds
♀ Member
Member # 32811
Default  Posted: 11:35 AM, February 6th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Lilly and her grandma are together now...

I am so sorry for your loss... please hug your SIL.

Prayers and more prayers...


Posts: 2478 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: With my dad...and my dog...
Lalagirl
♀ Member
Member # 14576
Default  Posted: 3:22 PM, February 6th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((((HUGS))))))

I am so, so sorry.


Me - 49; FWH - 51
Married 30 years 9/2/13
2 grown daughters-30 & 26
5yo GS & 18 mo. GD & GB #4 due 8/14(DD30) and 2yo GD(DD26). D-day #1 - 1/06; D-day #2 - 3/07
Reconciled! Construction Complete.

Posts: 4944 | Registered: May 2007
teach5
♀ Member
Member # 18445
Default  Posted: 9:16 PM, February 6th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I lost a daughter in a similar way. If your SIL is on facebook there is a page that offers wonderful support called Too Beautiful for Earth. My condolences on your loss.

Posts: 415 | Registered: Mar 2008
Topic Posts: 39
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