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User Topic: What were the lamest affair reasons your WS have you?
♀ Member
Member # 38020
Default  Posted: 1:58 AM, February 2nd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ok, I win.

I remember sitting in a meeting, both of our attorneys next to us, and him sheepishly grinning and telling me "she was juicy."


Of all the stupid, asinine, disrespectful things I have ever heard in my life- this moment still ranks in as number one.

I have been cheated on by 3 different men, and I have more DDays than anyone ever should. I am here, just trying to pickup the pieces.

At least the current man "only" cyber-cheated.

"Love means never having to say you're sorry."

Posts: 840 | Registered: Jan 2013
Member # 41986
Default  Posted: 2:05 AM, February 2nd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

i just get "i dont know. i ask myself that too. i dont know why i did it".

this is after 2 ONS, one LTA EA & PA, 6-7 guys sexting and nude pics sent.

she tells me it felt wrong but kept doing it. wtf. one ONS guy spit in her face 2x while having sex and she tells me that she was considering for a few days to have another ONS with him. uh yeah...

me - bh
her - lara01

from 09/11 - 05/13
2 ONS, 10 sexting partners, 1 LT EA/PA

??/06/13 DD/1 - admits to LT EA, begin false R.
01/13/14 DD/2 - LTA was PA.
01/18/14 DD/3 - sexting 5 guys.
01/19/14 DD/4 - 2 ONS with different guys

Posts: 549 | Registered: Jan 2014
♀ Member
Member # 38973
Default  Posted: 3:08 AM, February 2nd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

From MC: The economy tanked and the company he worked for wasn't doing good. He hated his job. The had lunch, drank some wine, then it just happened. Then it continued to just happen because it felt good.

But the real deal he gave me right when I confronted him with the evidence "Because I never had sex with anyone else but you."

f?WH - 49
m27 yrs, T 28, no kids
OW-WH's former CW, friends + 20yr
DDay-11/16/12, LT EA, 4y? PA, manymany
EA with FFriends over the years
Attempting R
Is there an end to blindness in sight?

Posts: 77 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: N.California
♀ Member
Member # 38141
Default  Posted: 4:16 AM, February 2nd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So many of your posts ring true for what wh has said, but when it gets right down to it - he had an affair because he was stupid.

Two that annoy the hell out of me are:

1. You were busy with your friend (um, my friend had end stage cancer!)

2. You didn't smile like she did --- see #1, you idiot!!!

I blasted him to kingdom come when he made those two statements.

ME - Betrayed Spouse
Him - Wayward spouse
Not sure, but trying I guess.

Posts: 477 | Registered: Jan 2013
♀ Member
Member # 41951
Default  Posted: 6:13 AM, February 2nd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

How sad..all these affairs based on assumptions of what the BS was feeling.

Mine was so specific. I came home one night after taking care of my dying mother, hopped in the whirlpool tub. BS wanted to join me, and I apparently turned him down in a rude and unthoughtful way. It was at that moment he decided to look for sex elsewhere.

How much more specific could that be. I can't even take a bath now.

" He paved paradise and put up a parking lot"
BS - me
WS- him
married 26 years, together since kids
D- Day Jan 4 2014
PMA- starting this moment
R - in MC. WH is in IC

Posts: 142 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: New York
♀ Member
Member # 41843
Default  Posted: 8:17 AM, February 2nd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

For months all I got was "I don't know why I did it" and that infuriated me. Then recently H looked at me and nearly screamed "Don't you know that there are women out there just looking to get f***ed?!? She wanted me to f**k her, so I f***ed her!" and that just sickened me.

I am no longer accepting the things I cannot change...I am changing the things I cannot accept.

Posts: 125 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: Northeastern US
♀ Member
Member # 41717
Default  Posted: 8:39 AM, February 2nd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This is just a copy/paste, directly from an email he sent. He claims his affair was the only way he knew how to get out of our marriage and these were the reasons that were enough to do it:
"Our two sides never got along, nor did you really and my side. Yes you tried as hard as you could but I couldn't ever see it being right. You always brought them up while we were having fights of our own that didn't even remotely have anything to do with them. The daily living between us got to be too routine. I know I had a lot to do with that, but that was me feeling trapped. We both never really saw our families or friends. The housework would always pile up, and it always seemed like we were keeping score of who did what and how many times and so on. That wasn't ok with me, and I'm sure you felt the same. I do understand that this was a two way street and I too, am to blame."

Me: BS 30
WH: 30
No kids
Divorced in June 2014
Together 10 yrs, Married for 3 of those yrs
OP: Ho worker
Divorced June 2014

Posts: 162 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: Nj
♂ Member
Member # 38122
Default  Posted: 8:59 AM, February 2nd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

...and I too, am to blame.

JerseyGirl, assuming you didn't bury something in his skull after that, you deserve a medal!

If you did, then you deserve two medals.

Loyal spouse: Me; Disloyal spouse: The Princess
Two sons: Now 11 and 14
DDay: Nov 15, 2012
Separated: Mar 2, 2013 after 17 year marriage, now divorcing!

The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous

Posts: 2111 | Registered: Jan 2013
♂ Member
Member # 31868
Default  Posted: 9:14 AM, February 2nd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"I didn't want to get sick" He introduced her to heroin.

When you put someone on a pedestal, they quickly learn two things. The view is mighty good from up there, and it is a fine vantage from which to kick.

Posts: 183 | Registered: Apr 2011 | From: Hawaii
♀ Member
Member # 31672
Default  Posted: 9:18 AM, February 2nd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

OW#1 - "I thought our marriage was over." Funny, he never told me that, just the OW. This was 3 yrs into it, after I had our first child, moved in with my mom (I was 20 and scared) for a few weeks so she could help me. I had "abandoned him" even though I asked him to come stay there with me when he was in on weekends (worked out of town then). "I went to the bar to drown my sorrows." "I went to the bar to learn to like beer; I didn't go to get laid."

OW#2 - "She was fun." "I took the wrong path." "I was never going to leave you." "I didn't think a BJ from another woman was a big deal. I see it is now."

BS (me) 41; WS, 44
DD#1- 09/07/10 secret cell found, texting ho-worker. Denies EA/PA
DD#2- 12/29/13 admitted ONS (1993) with bar slut 3 yrs into marriage
DD#3- 01/21/14 ho-worker from 2010 involved "one-time BJ."

Posts: 447 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: TN
♀ Member
Member # 30498
Default  Posted: 9:38 AM, February 2nd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"she was juicy"

My God I've now heard it all. Better be careful at the green grocers then.

This is from the brilliant mind of Sir Shagalot:

"She wanted to be controlled" (it was up to me to tell her when she could have sex with her own husband and report back to me)
"Her marriage was ruined anyway" (therefore it was my job to destroy it forever)
"I only went over for coffee" (obviously the local deli was closed)
"We had a sick relationship" (apparently this was preferable to having a healthy one with me)
"We didn't have sex all the time. Sometimes we went for months without it" (poor dears)"

and my favourite:

"the last 25 years with you were the best of my life but the last 10 years were only 9/10ths perfect"

Married 25 years now divorced.
D-Day: 20/11/10
Me: 48.5 plus 10% GST
Him: mental age 6 (apologies to all 6 year olds)
Betrayal: Who cares anymore?

Posts: 1096 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Adelaide, South Australia
♀ Member
Member # 30314
Default  Posted: 10:20 AM, February 2nd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

OW1- " I knew you were going to hell and I wanted to go with you." - because I had cheated first I guess.
OW2- "you had two so I got to have two" - referring to me being sexually assaulted to a second affair.
He doesn't remember saying either of these things.....

his Dday: 2/10 but TT until 7/11
my Ddays: 1/12, 4/12 broken NC 12/12

me (WW/BS): 48
him: (BS/WH)52
4 kiddos in mid 20's

“Follow your intuition. Be smart, be brave. Tell the truth and don’t take any shit.”

Posts: 5283 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Midwest
solus sto
♀ Member
Member # 30989
Default  Posted: 11:17 AM, February 2nd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"You always spend too much at Christmas." This, on May 23, 2010, as his first listed reason for cheating (with the "last" OW). Literally moments after I confronted him, and asked him why, he said this.

"It was an accident." Yes, of course it was. Totally accidental. You accidentally told your wife you needed the (only) family car all day (4-5 times a week,leaving her stranded, with a toddler and later a toddler and newborn, in an area where there was NOTHING to do but stay at home without a car, in a climate where even playing outdoors was frequently not a possibility) because you "had to work late" or "go to a class," and "didn't want to bother me and uproot the kids" to pick you up so late. (Such a hard-working man! So intent on furthering your education!)

That Demon Car evilly self-navigated (night after night after night after night) to one of a series of strip clubs, where you accidentally spent thousands of dollars "not doing anything" until a woman accidentally tripped and impaled herself on your (rather hard to locate) penis---after you'd accidentally paid her to do so. (Those damn stripper shoes are so hard to walk in. It really could have happened to anyone.)

Gah. The list goes on and on and on. And the stupidity does not cease.

[This message edited by solus sto at 11:23 AM, February 2nd (Sunday)]

BS-me, 52
WH (Trac-fone), 53, PD
2 kids-DD25, DS18
multiple d-days
Alone, most strangely, I live on~Rupert Brooke

Posts: 8851 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: midwest
♀ Member
Member # 33523
Default  Posted: 3:22 PM, February 2nd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Your friend Ms X is over our house too much (dinner approximately once a month). And XH was also friends w/her.

That was the dumbest. But there were so very many others.

WTFE, dude.

Me: MH 40s; Him: MH 40s (I had RA)
OW: 30s, moron; one of many
M: 8 yrs
3/13: D'd
Everything is as it should be.

Posts: 767 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Vulcania
♀ Member
Member # 33202
Default  Posted: 4:07 PM, February 2nd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

One of the excuses was that I gave too much attention to the dog. The reality is that the dog was my responsibility because he couldn't be bothered. AND the dog had been dead for at least 10 years before the A.

Posts: 723 | Registered: Aug 2011
♀ Member
Member # 38378
Default  Posted: 4:53 PM, February 2nd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He said, "It was supposed to be a fling. I didn't stop it."

He said, "she asked me first. "What's your status?" he said to her, "Oh, my wife is dead."

Nope. Not dead.

[This message edited by Ashland13 at 4:55 PM, February 2nd (Sunday)]

Ashland 13

You gave me nothing and now it's all I've got - Bono

A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess

Perserverance and spirit have done wonders in all ages.

-George Washington

Posts: 2291 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: New England
♀ Member
Member # 38341
Default  Posted: 5:37 PM, February 2nd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I can't remember who is it that has the CORN STORY!! Please someone chime in...seriously the best I ever heard.

Mine was "But, her boobs were really big."

Just call me Heart. :)
"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything" ~Mark Twain

Posts: 379 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: St. Louis
♀ Member
Member # 40032
Default  Posted: 5:42 PM, February 2nd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He claimed he thought I was cheating on him..

I've never cheated on him and he now realizes that was lame excuse that he didn't really believe.

BW- mid 50's (me)
fWH-late 50's
M 33 T 35
DD-Early 2013 PA 2010
In R but I have PTSD...

Posts: 569 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: USA
♀ Member
Member # 39560
Default  Posted: 6:13 PM, February 2nd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Heart, you asked for the corn story so I'm happy to oblige....

I asked what caused him to make the decision to cheat on me.

We had had a stupid tiff over CORN ON THE COB. he said that is what caused it!

a stupid tiff over CORN ON THE COB is what made him decide to cheat on me the same night with OW2.

What was the little tiff you ask? He had decided, after 18 YEARS, that he never liked when I made corn-on-the-cob. He prefers frozen corn.

gah! I think back to when we had that ridiculous conversation and want to throttle him all over again

and let's not forget how he proclaimed a few months later that "we'd look back on this and laugh" (meaning his affairs)

there used to be a thread called the "stupidest shit they've said" and I so wish I had bookmarked it because I'd bump it.

Me: 45, him: 54
together 18 years
DDay1 March 2013, Dday2 April 27, 2013, Dday3 June 1, 2013
We are in R and trying to make it
Never lose yourself trying to hang onto someone who doesn't care about losing you.

Posts: 252 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Northeast
♀ Member
Member # 26854
Default  Posted: 6:38 PM, February 2nd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"You know how she is. She won't take no for an answer."

DDay - 11/4/09
BS-49 DDay
fWS-46 DDay
EA/PA with childhood sweetheart/ kissed
R - 11/25/09
Life is not a dress rehearsal

Posts: 1461 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Northeast
Topic Posts: 72
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