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User Topic: What were the lamest affair reasons your WS have you?
sad34
♀ Member
Member # 40358
Default  Posted: 8:17 PM, February 1st (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This is one of the lame excuses wh said. I was so much better then him at parenting, or my work ethic. I never procrastinated, I made friends easier.
He felt he wasn't good enough for me.
Ok so let's get this straight. U r not good enough for me (which I never said). So u decide to have an affair. Ummm ok!!
Also one thing that has always confused me. We say the ws was not in the right frame of mind. Yet they can usually function well in social situations, their job, manipulate, lie and have a great affair. But they r emotional messes?
Can anyone explain that. Through out my whole husbands 4 year affair, he functioned just fine.
But after she phoned me it's like, "oh ummm I'm in a fog ya". I wish the ws would just say. Yep I wanted an affair. And I will try
my damnedest not to do it again. Instead of lame crap or the wonderful "I don't knows". I guess I'm just at my wits end, I'm just so tired, ya know??? Just so tired of it all:(. U put everything into a marriage. Give your spouse all u have. Take care of the kids, the house, and work. And they go "F-U"
So very tired:(


Bs: me 32 WH: 36
Dday: July 2012
LTA: 4years (ea, pa)
Dd-4. Ds-2
My life is shattered unsure about R

Posts: 140 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: canada
Chippednotbroken
♀ Member
Member # 40170
Default  Posted: 8:27 PM, February 1st (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

His girlfriend came on to him. He liked it and then she made him have sex. Yep she badgered him into having sex. Right.


Me BS 32
DDay July 13'
3 young kids

Posts: 303 | Registered: Aug 2013
Zayda1
♀ Member
Member # 35387
Default  Posted: 8:30 PM, February 1st (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I hear ya!

My WH said:

I thought you were going to leave me anyway.
I thought I would be able to say no when she wanted to get physical.
She was very forward and I was weak.
Your period was too long.
I was stressed out at work.
You are better than me.
I hit rock bottom and figured "why not. I've already f'd up, she's going to leave me anyway."
Her husband won't fuck her. Her marriage was already over.
I didn't think you would find out.
I was hoping it would just stop and we could all continue to be friends without you ever having to know.

Crazy making.


Married 9 years, together for 11 years
2 children (7 years & 4 years)
Discovery of PA 04/15/12 (It only lasted a "couple of weeks" but it still shattered my world.)

Posts: 465 | Registered: Apr 2012
cl131716
♀ Member
Member # 40699
Default  Posted: 8:32 PM, February 1st (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"She was going to be in the area and wanted to catch up. We talked about my relationship with you and her engagement. Then she kissed me to say goodbye to the friendship. There were no intentions of anything. It was only to catch up."

Wasn't really a reason for the affair but his explanation of how the kiss happened.


Me BS 31
Him WS 34 Trying4change
Together 3 years, married for one
D-day: 07/23/13 cybersex with COW
D-day: 12/27/13 found out he met and kissed a "friend" in 2011
"A clear and innocent conscience fears nothing."

Posts: 935 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Oklahoma
Chefj9
♀ Member
Member # 38604
Default  Posted: 8:35 PM, February 1st (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"She was flirty", "she was flirty with everyone". He just said this 2 days ago in MC when the MC asked him why he crossed what would be considered "healthy boundaries". I'm still stewing on this one....


ME - BS 50, Him - WS 46 trying to "R"
4 DD's - blended 25, 15, 15 and 12
Multi DDays the grand finale 5/13/2013
From here on out, I am only interested in what is real. Real people, real feelings, that's it, that's all I'm intere

Posts: 472 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: Texas
hurtingfool
♂ Member
Member # 42196
Default  Posted: 8:41 PM, February 1st (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think the lamest one, and the one I see a lot of around here, "I didn't want to hurt you by telling the truth." Seriously, you had permission and didn't want to hurt me?


Me: BS 31
Her: WS 29
10 years of marriage
12 years together
3 kids
DDay:January 16, 2014

Posts: 129 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: NW US
Pass
♂ Member
Member # 38122
Default  Posted: 8:52 PM, February 1st (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Back in the three days in which The Princess actually admitted to it - before she changed her mind, and said nothing really happened - hers was, "It made me feel wild and pretty, and I really liked feeling like that."

Why couldn't she have felt wild and pretty while jumping off a cliff?


Loyal spouse: Me; Disloyal spouse: The Princess
Two sons: Now 11 and 14
DDay: Nov 15, 2012
Separated: Mar 2, 2013 after 17 year marriage, now divorcing!

The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous


Posts: 2090 | Registered: Jan 2013
StillLivin
♀ Member
Member # 40229
Default  Posted: 8:56 PM, February 1st (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

She Was ANice To Me!


I don't need further confirmation of what a fuckwit he is. I already have plenty, thanks very much. -SBB
D: 7/2/2014

Posts: 2335 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: AZ
brokendancer7
♀ Member
Member # 39911
Default  Posted: 8:57 PM, February 1st (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"I didn't balance his checkbook, and didn't understand our money situation." I was the one stressing at the grocery store, trying to economize, and he was the one buying the slut $500 earrings.


Me: BS - 58
Him: WS - 56
Married 34 yrs

Latest DD - April 2013, PA


Posts: 197 | Registered: Jul 2013
Merlin
♂ Member
Member # 30221
Default  Posted: 8:57 PM, February 1st (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Every one of them.


"I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself. A bird will fall frozen dead from a bough without ever having felt sorry for itself." D. H. Lawrence

Her: WW/57 Me: BS/63 24yrs M
3 great kids, now 22, 20, 17 b,b,g
D-Day 8/14/08, D 1/13/11


Posts: 1164 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: East Coast
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 8:59 PM, February 1st (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"We just grew apart"


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9824 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
Chippednotbroken
♀ Member
Member # 40170
Default  Posted: 9:05 PM, February 1st (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"I didn't think you would find out" yep. I still picture her badgering him into having sex. More than once. Seriously. Oh and I was just a paycheck not a real person. And I once told him to leave me alone and find someone else to bother. So he had permission. But he didn't leave me alone.


Me BS 32
DDay July 13'
3 young kids

Posts: 303 | Registered: Aug 2013
yestopants
♀ Member
Member # 41631
Default  Posted: 9:08 PM, February 1st (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I just don't love you like a husband should….(no fucking kidding).


Me: 35
STBXWH: 38
2 amazing kids DS DD
almost Divorced!

Posts: 283 | Registered: Dec 2013
StorybookGirl42
♀ Member
Member # 42276
Default  Posted: 9:13 PM, February 1st (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"You weren't talking to me. We were just existing in the same space, not living together. She was giving me attention that I needed and felt you didn't want to give."

Thing is, when we really started talking about everything, we pinpointed when I started pulling away emotionally. It was in a specific conversation where I was super stressed with my horrible workplace and he said to me "I don't want to hear it. Either do something about it or stop bugging me."

This is a man who, for the longest time, I could never get to actually talk to me about some things. He wouldn't open up to me but expected me to be open to him.

A man who I supported through a HORRIFIC custody battle for his son that he won. There were times when he was so depressed and worn down from it all that I was the one that took care of his son's bedtime routine.

Then when I needed some moral support, he couldn't be bothered. So I pulled away, not the smartest thing to do but what I did. Rather than pursue me, he just gave up and turned his focus elsewhere.

To his credit, he has since seen the error of how we both handled it, but admitted that he was keeping too much close to his chest and placing unfair expectations on me. We communicate so much better now. I just wish it hadn't taken an affair to get us to this point.


Posts: 95 | Registered: Jan 2014
Putto
♀ Member
Member # 38261
Default  Posted: 9:17 PM, February 1st (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

His explanation for OW#1:
"She has low self esteem, I just wanted to help her."

It's been 8 years. I still fume when that line replays it's self in my head.


I don't say much but I lurk around a lot. Thank you for baring your souls here, you've said the words I couldn't find and you've helped me heal more than I can say.

Me - BS
Him - FWS, serial long term EAs


Posts: 71 | Registered: Jan 2013
scarednbroken
♀ Member
Member # 41961
Default  Posted: 9:19 PM, February 1st (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've gotten the following:

1) pregnancy just doesn't turn me on (three days ago he actually contacted a woman from CL that advertised she was pregnant and horny)

2) you won't have sex with me. (He always asks when I have a fever over 100, during menses, or I've had an exhausting day)

3) I feel inferior to you bc you "flaunt" your college to me. (This was after an argument about helping our kids through college and what our responsibilities are)

4) you are boring in bed


BS: Me 44 WH: 50 Kids: 13, 15, 17, 28 DD: every yr Ow: tons Status: fed-up. A woman should never invest in a relationship she wouldn't want for her daughter, nor should she allow any man to treat her in a way she would scold her son for

Posts: 417 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Midwest
lonelymommyof2
♀ Member
Member # 42013
Default  Posted: 9:24 PM, February 1st (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"I felt like we had no connection"
" Our spark was gone"
"I felt like you didn't love me"


Laaaaame.


ME: 21
WH: 25
One 2 year old, one 4 month old.
D Day: 11/30/13 (my birthday)
EA and PA with COW
currently in R

Posts: 51 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: California
Trying2Survive1
♀ Member
Member # 40022
Default  Posted: 9:39 PM, February 1st (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He lied about the ONS for 6 years.

His answer to why he stayed in contact with her during our false R.
" I thought you were going to leave me and I didn't think anyone else would ever love me."

What he said he told MOW on their 'date.'
"I told her I really want to get back together with my wife." Me wonders if that was before or after the sex?

What he said about their 'experience.'
"I wasn't going to sleep with her, but she came on to me."

"I didn't even like her, she was vague."

duh, she was married too....rolls eyes and


Madhatters, M 31 yrs
FWW/BS 57-BS/FWH 56
Separated 5 mos in 07.His DDay,11/07.False R since 07. My DDay,7/5/13."Once you are real you can't become unreal again. It lasts for always.”
― Margery Williams, The Velveteen Rabbit

Posts: 129 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: United States
alleyk
♀ Member
Member # 42270
Default  Posted: 9:52 PM, February 1st (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"I got that vibe and I went for it"

Posts: 111 | Registered: Jan 2014
Sunset22
♀ New Member
Member # 42025
Default  Posted: 9:55 PM, February 1st (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"I felt like you're not attracted to me anymore"
"I felt like you don't love me anymore"
"She's my back-up" but he never said he wants a backup wife so I'm guessing she was for backup sex!


DDay - December 2013 and January 2014

Posts: 41 | Registered: Jan 2014
Topic Posts: 72
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