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User Topic: Wino
Dyinghere
♀ Member
Member # 41313
Default  Posted: 10:35 AM, February 1st (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've been drinking too much wine at night. I like how it numbs me. But I need to quit it.




Posts: 132 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: the inside of my head
seenow
♀ Member
Member # 40720
Default  Posted: 10:49 AM, February 1st (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yeppers. BTDT because it works. But only for a minute. Only for a minute.

Can you stop yourself? Try. If not, get some backup and some help.

You will be surprised at how you feel clear and not so up and down. But it takes awhile.

Good luck!


ME: BS mid 40's
Him: WH mid 40's
DDay 5/13 5 year LTA, ONS
together 25 yrs
1 kiddo

Posts: 292 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: mountain west
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 10:54 AM, February 1st (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((Dyinghere)))) You already know those feelings you are numbing won't go away. Gotta feel and process them to get past them. You can do this, dying.


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 25325 | Registered: Aug 2011
SisterMilkshake
♀ Member
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 11:08 AM, February 1st (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

BTDT, too. I started having a drink (not wine, no likey wine) at night to help me sleep. Soon it was a couple of drinks. Yeah, it can snowball pretty quickly. I saw what was happening and was able to stop it before it took control.

It is good that you recognize that it isn't healthy. Now, yes, you need to stop and you have to feel your feelings. It will get better, it really will.


BW (me) 50ish FWH 50ish
Married 34 years, 3 children
d-day 3/10 LTA (4 yrs./fucking & flirting)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson


Posts: 9652 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
RightTrack
♀ Member
Member # 36976
Default  Posted: 11:30 AM, February 1st (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm right there with you with the wine. I've started substituting post dinner wine with jasmine green tea (although it has caffeine). I also have noted, with the help of My Fitness Pal, how many calories I'm raking in with those glasses of wine about 200-250 per glass, that's what I burn when I run two miles, yikes!) Tonight I have a formal ball for work to attend and tomorrow is superbowl...I know I'm going to drink but I'll keep the alcohol content low ( Moscato can be just 3 - 5% ).

Posts: 621 | Registered: Sep 2012
Kelany
♀ Member
Member # 34755
Default  Posted: 12:37 PM, February 1st (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

PM me!


BS - Me
SA/FWH Him
DDay 1 - Jul 11
DDay 2 - Jul 12
R Dec 12

Former 80s Icon wishful thinking


Posts: 2031 | Registered: Feb 2012
SadInNC
♀ Member
Member # 42170
Default  Posted: 12:51 PM, February 1st (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I started on the vodka at night. I don't want to "feel." I know the vodka is not good for me. I know it, but I still drink it. Yikes.


BS/Me WH/Him

"Your value doesn't decrease based on someone's inability to see your worth." -Unknown Wise Person


Posts: 337 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: North Carolina, United States
rachelc
♀ Member
Member # 30314
Default  Posted: 1:39 PM, February 1st (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This happened up me too. But I realized alcohol was a depressant and I don't need anything more depressing in my life. I started drinking root beer or tonic. Turns out I just wanted something in my hand to sip on. This might work for you?


his Dday: 2/10
my Ddays: 1/12, 4/12 broken NC 12/12

me (WW/BS): 48
him: (BS/WH)52
4 kiddos in mid 20's

Me: I didn't sign up for this.
Him: you're already in this. All you can do is resign...


Posts: 4923 | Registered: Dec 2010
Chrysalis123
♀ Member
Member # 27148
Default  Posted: 1:49 PM, February 1st (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Happened to me too. I just had to quit cold turkey. I knew I had a problem when it took me many tries. Now I am wine free.


Donít get to the end of your life and find that you lived only the length of it; live the width of it as well.†

Posts: 2672 | Registered: Jan 2010
glaciergal
New Member
Member # 40777
Default  Posted: 2:31 PM, February 1st (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Would it help to know that it actually DOESN'T help you sleep? Yes, it does help you get to sleep, but if you've been drinking you usually wake up in the middle of the night. Good luck to you! Red teas have the same "mouth feel" -- you might want to try something like that. I find that I just can't buy it, or else I'll drink it.


DD - 10/12
11/3/12 - he asked for divorce
11/15/12 - beginning of R
April '13 - he says he is DONE no chance of further R

Posts: 18 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Alaska
mainlyinpain
♀ Member
Member # 39134
Default  Posted: 2:47 PM, February 1st (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes, I discovered wine in the last year. Before that rarely had any alcohol. Right before bed it....numbed, quieted the brain. But also overindulged on ddays and that was disastrous...blacked out for a while and did some fb messaging that I don't remember.
Trying to not indulge and its not too hard if you just break the habit.
Recently heard that Tequila is the only alcohol that is not a depressant so that makes me curious...but I know first hand that it is better to never try a vice....it becomes a habit.
Be strong dyinghere, find another pleasure. Another escape, a more positive one.


DD 1 - 7/7/2004
DD 2 - 10/31/2011
DD 3 - 4/30/2013(or continuation?)(Yes)
DD 4 - 9/25/2013
DD 5 - 2/15/2014 (found phone from 2009)

Posts: 489 | Registered: Apr 2013
looking forward
♀ Member
Member # 25238
Default  Posted: 3:18 PM, February 1st (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Every night for years....one glass of wine becomes a second glass...then a 750 mL bottle......then a L bottle......it slowly and gradually takes over your life....but hard to admit it.....

Please, you don't want to end up like I did.

Step away NOW from the alcohol.

Admitting the problem is the first step.
Take the next one!

~ LF, 1741 days sober

....and added bonuses for me were a much happier BH, an honest me, and 55 lbs weight loss two years ago and maintained.

[This message edited by looking forward at 3:19 PM, February 1st (Saturday)]


Memory and hope; one looks backward, and the other forward; one is of today, the other of tomorrow.
"Find a place inside where there's joy, and the joy will burn out the pain." (Joseph Campbell)

Posts: 2839 | Registered: Aug 2009 | From: Where a river runs through it
Dyinghere
♀ Member
Member # 41313
Default  Posted: 5:22 PM, February 1st (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yeah. I know. I think I will try tea. I just want to feel calmer.




Posts: 132 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: the inside of my head
doggiediva
♀ Member
Member # 33806
Default  Posted: 6:16 PM, February 1st (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I was drinking 2 sometimes 3-4 rum and soda drinks a night to numb myself..This was going on for a couple of years..I remained clear headed (not drunk) on this amount but it made me feel tired enough to go to sleep..

One night, recently, I got sick and passed out, not sure why, coz I drank the same amount like I always did....The next two days were hell, I felt like a freight train had run over me, I was dizzy and nauseated those two days..

Strange thing happened.. I feel like something spontaneously reset in my body after getting sick that night..
I stopped drinking any alcohol cold turkey.. No craving for this drink or any other with alcohol.. No feelings of being irritated, from missing the drinks...I can still enjoy a margarita or a glass of wine, but I stop at only one and now I drink only once in a blue moon..

I would not recommend this habit as a way to numb yourself..I find that I now have some extra weight that I need to lose.. I have to get my cholesterol and blood pressure down to my pre drinking levels..

I am glad that I stopped before I did any lasting damage to my health :-)

These cheaters and their AP's should not get the satisfaction of seeing us spiral out of control whether it is our eating, drinking, depression..

LF, I hope my weight will come down like yours did..A 20 lb weight loss would get me loosely back into ALL my old cute clothes

[This message edited by doggiediva at 6:22 PM, February 1st (Saturday)]


Don't tie your happiness to the tail of somebody else's kite

Posts: 1179 | Registered: Nov 2011
looking forward
♀ Member
Member # 25238
Default  Posted: 9:30 PM, February 1st (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

@doggiediva:
The weight loss wasn't primarily from stopping drinking. I actually put on weight after I quit cold turkey. Two years post DDay I decided that I didn't want to have that extra weight on me. I thought that when I turned 60 I would magically become skinny like my late mother; didn't happen1 So I consciously started a diet/food life style change and gradually over the next 8 months lost the weight.
You can do it!


Memory and hope; one looks backward, and the other forward; one is of today, the other of tomorrow.
"Find a place inside where there's joy, and the joy will burn out the pain." (Joseph Campbell)

Posts: 2839 | Registered: Aug 2009 | From: Where a river runs through it
TS68
♀ Member
Member # 40211
Default  Posted: 10:01 PM, February 1st (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

At least it is not cigarettes. That is the only anti anxiety I know and so hard to give up. Only started when I took my blinders off my marriage.



Married 20 years

Posts: 199 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Midwest
MairISaoirse
♀ Member
Member # 41497
Default  Posted: 10:15 PM, February 1st (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

there are some nice herbal teas that can mellow you out quite bit- no caffeine either


Mad Hatter

Me: 21
Him: 21
Together 2 years
my ONS->1 mo EA abroad

after D-Day BF admitted he had broken NC with EXGF (EA)
D-DAY 11/21/13

In Limbo


Posts: 114 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Kentucky
doggiediva
♀ Member
Member # 33806
Default  Posted: 4:39 PM, February 2nd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Which herbal teas?
I drink camomile tea and lavender tea..Both are soothing in that they taste good, but I don't feel their effects like I did alcohol, or mild sedative (benedryl)..


Don't tie your happiness to the tail of somebody else's kite

Posts: 1179 | Registered: Nov 2011
heforgotme
♀ Member
Member # 38391
Default  Posted: 6:21 AM, February 4th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

But I need to quit it.

Me too.

PM me if you wanna do it together.....


D-Day 11/15/12
5 month PA
Married 20 years, 3 kids
All good is hard. All evil is easy. Dying, losing, cheating, and mediocrity is easy. Stay away from easy.
- Scott Alexander
It was the day I thought I'd never get through - Daughtry

Posts: 1081 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: FL
SadInNC
♀ Member
Member # 42170
Default  Posted: 8:09 AM, February 4th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I sleep much better at night, when I don't drink. It really is true, if you want a good night's sleep stay away from the wine or vodka or whatever. Sleepytime tea and Chammomile tea are very good. Also, when I drink, it really does make me even more depressed and sad than I was before I had the drink.


BS/Me WH/Him

"Your value doesn't decrease based on someone's inability to see your worth." -Unknown Wise Person


Posts: 337 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: North Carolina, United States
Topic Posts: 20

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