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User Topic: Contacting OW x BF?
AML04
♀ Member
Member # 39682
Default  Posted: 5:48 PM, January 31st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

In Feb 2013 WH told me xBBF accused OW of having an affair with WH. I think he told me this in case BBF tried to contact me. He told me like "this guy is crazy! He actually thinks we're having an affair!!" We laughed about it :(

My question is whether I should contact OW xBBF? I've thought about reaching out to him to ask why he thought they were having an affair, if he had any details. I'd also like to reassure him he really wasn't crazy. Of course I can't trust it wouldn't get back to her that I did it and might cause something I'm trying to avoid.

Anyone have any suggestions??

Edited to take out some specific detail.


[This message edited by AML04 at 12:40 PM, February 2nd (Sunday)]


Me-BS Him-WH DS 5/12
Met 2000, Married 2004
DDay 5/26/13, TT through 8/13
2.5 yr EA w/co-worker, PA 12/12 to 4/13
Hopeful for R

Posts: 875 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: MA
Melian40
♀ Member
Member # 41205
Default  Posted: 6:02 PM, January 31st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If you have gaps in your husband's A story or if you feel that he might still be in the A underground, an approach to xbf could help you.
It depends on what kind of person xbf is. Would he make a mess with OW if you discussed the A?
If you decide to find him, try not to give him too much information, but instead try to learn info from him.


BW-me:40
BH-him:41
DD-age 9
Together 7 years, married 17 years
DD1:8/12/2013 -OW1-PA 1.5 months in 2009
DD2:8/17/2013 - OW2-EA Spring 2013- He tried to hit on her but she denied.

"You can't fix a broken man, but he can break you"


Posts: 209 | Registered: Nov 2013
AML04
♀ Member
Member # 39682
Default  Posted: 6:13 PM, January 31st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

WH says I know everything and I mostly believe him. I'm just really curious why this guy thought they were having an affair. What was he seeing on his end that I wasn't, you know? I don't really have any idea what type of guy he is though, just what OW told WH. If it's true, he probably would go off on her.

I have his contact info and was thinking about emailing him something like, "hey, this is WH's wife. I have a couple questions I was hoping you could answer. Do you mind?" If he does or doesn't respond, then I'll leave it be?? If he seems like a normal guy, I'd really like to tell him he wasn't crazy, that they did have an inappropriate relationship.

Am I nuts? Should I just drop this?


Me-BS Him-WH DS 5/12
Met 2000, Married 2004
DDay 5/26/13, TT through 8/13
2.5 yr EA w/co-worker, PA 12/12 to 4/13
Hopeful for R

Posts: 875 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: MA
Topic Posts: 3

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