Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-
Find a Local Couselor
like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: BrokenFuture (44249)

Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Another Bump In The Road
twillett333
♀ Member
Member # 42121
Default  Posted: 4:19 PM, January 31st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I feel like this is my second home because im posting so much lately. Anyway, So I think I might be pregnant....great timing right? And now WH keeps saying he wants to get the possible baby tested because he doesn't think it is his etc. I'm not the one who cheated!!! I'm not the one lying over and over!!!! Where does he get off on accusing me of anything!?!

Is this just because he is guilty? Is it because I suspect he is still seeing OW? What gives?


BS (me) 28
WH (him) 28
D-day January 14 ,2014
D-day #2 March 15, 2014
Married 8 1\2 years
Together for 10 1\2
Two children ages 7&2
Reconciling

*Finding my strength*


Posts: 73 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Louisiana
annb
♀ Member
Member # 22386
Default  Posted: 6:16 PM, January 31st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'd be an a lunacy rage! He is trying to project what he has done onto you. I've seen this many times before on this board where the WS begins to accuse the BS of cheating. Maybe in their sick, twisted minds, it might give them a skewed sense of justification for their actions.

Do you know for a fact that he has been NC with OW?


Posts: 7389 | Registered: Jan 2009 | From: Northeast
twillett333
♀ Member
Member # 42121
Default  Posted: 6:23 PM, January 31st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

No I'm don't know that for a fact. Something happened yesterday where I think she called him and I asked him about it. He went off saying it was over, I don't trust him and I'll never forgive him. It was another huge fight. He said he's tired of me checking up in him and that I need to forgive and forget it.


BS (me) 28
WH (him) 28
D-day January 14 ,2014
D-day #2 March 15, 2014
Married 8 1\2 years
Together for 10 1\2
Two children ages 7&2
Reconciling

*Finding my strength*


Posts: 73 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Louisiana
headdesk
♀ Member
Member # 40787
Default  Posted: 6:26 PM, January 31st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Listen to your gut. He's trying to rugsweep like crazy - that is not a remorseful man. You can't R without remorse.


Me: 39
WH: 42
DDay:Sep 19 2013 (only TT of EA)
Oct 4th 2013 revealed PA through snooping.
Marred 16 years, together for 20. Looking to R at this time. We have awesome kids (12/14).

Posts: 273 | Registered: Sep 2013
whattheh
♀ Member
Member # 40032
Default  Posted: 6:40 PM, January 31st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Your fWH is not being supportive of you and your healing. He does not get to dictate when you are to forgive him. Instead he has to earn your forgiveness. One example of this permanent transparency.

Its common for the WS to accuse the BS of cheating. My own fWH did this to me too while he was the one doing the cheating. Its right out of the Cheaters Handbook 101.

Have your WS read How to help your spouse heal from your affair. Its a quick read but he needs to take it to heart.

Hes either still cheating or just isnt getting which means hes at high risk for cheating again IMHO.


BW- mid 50's (me)
fWH-late 50's
M 33 T 35
DD-Early 2013
In R but I have PTSD...

Posts: 481 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: USA
StillStanding1
♀ Member
Member # 40144
Default  Posted: 6:43 PM, January 31st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

^^^^^^^Agree 100% with whattheh.

I can't imagine trying to deal with a pregnancy on top of all this... but I know there are other people here at SI who have. Hope they will reach out to you.

Wishing you peace and strength.


Me: 40s BS, Him: 40s WH
M 21 yrs - 3 teens
LTA = 2+ yrs, Dday = 2/10/13, he moved out, he officially moved back in 1/25/14 and our work continues...

Posts: 633 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: MidWest
whattheh
♀ Member
Member # 40032
Default  Posted: 6:44 PM, January 31st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Another book which would be good to read together is How Can I Forgive You by Janice Abrams Spring.

This will help your WS to see how much he has to do if you are going to R.


BW- mid 50's (me)
fWH-late 50's
M 33 T 35
DD-Early 2013
In R but I have PTSD...

Posts: 481 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: USA
BrooklynLove
♀ Member
Member # 41800
Angry  Posted: 3:18 PM, February 1st (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I got pregnant during HB and my WH ask me if that was his baby. When I called all our family sobbing about the disrespect he told me to get an abortion because we couldn't afford it. But he didn't want anyone to know about the abortion. I did a 180 and ask him to leave and stared to google divorce and would leave the computer open for him to see it. Once he realized i was having that baby with or without him, he got on board. you should see him kissing that baby he wanted me to get rid of. They all do the same thing especially when they want out of the marriage.


Will never be naive again...

BW - Me (28)
WH - Him my JH sweetheart (33)
Married - 8 years
2 babies - DD (3) and DD (5 months)
OW#1 - PA with classmate for 2 months
OW#2 - Some slut living oversees that needs a green card. EA & PA going on


Posts: 110 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: USA
JustWow
♀ Member
Member # 19636
Default  Posted: 8:17 PM, February 1st (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

See, when the WS is whining to their AP about their sexless M, and telling them how special they are.... it kinda turns the unicorn farts sour when the dear old sexless wifey suddenly turns up pregnant. How in the world will he ever explain this to the OW??

We quite accidentally got pregnant during HB/false R (bc failure). It does make things more difficult. Not impossible. Just really be extra conscientious to eat well, drink lotsa water, rest, and focus on YOU and your needs, and those of YOUR precious little one.

Prayers...

[This message edited by JustWow at 9:12 PM, February 1st (Saturday)]


BW - Reconciling

edited for typos (I always have to!)


Posts: 3582 | Registered: May 2008 | From: Midwest
Topic Posts: 9

Return to Forum: Just Found Out Post Reply to this Topic
adultry
Go to :
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.