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User Topic: child care
Gomphus
♂ Member
Member # 29779
Default  Posted: 1:56 PM, January 31st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

How do you do it? since S and D I have been lucky to have a very flexible schedule and simply keep my kids during my 50% days. Well, that job blows and after 3 years may have a lead on a new job that will have less flexibility. This job is a necessity for my sanity and I need to get on a more regular work schedule. It will be somewhat flexible but I will have some issues during a few weekdays and during the summer. I have several ideas but maybe y'all can comment and share yours?

-get ExW to help. she can and will help some but she works, too, and well, I'd rather not have her help.
-oldest D is 12 and has had the red cross child care class and helps babysit some with Ds 8 and 10
-pay someone to transport from school and to activities some
-pay someone during the summer

thanks wise ones!


me - 41 BH
D'ed
Surviving

Posts: 425 | Registered: Oct 2010 | From: VA
Dreamboat
♀ Member
Member # 10506
Default  Posted: 2:51 PM, January 31st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My DD's elementary school had a very reasonably price after school care run by the YMCA and staffed by some of the teachers at the school. That was a life saver for me. Once DD was in middle school, I felt she was mature enough to take the bus home and stay alone for the few hours before I got home from work.

The summers were trickier. With my job I am able to work from home and I got the ok from my bosses to work from home most days in the summer while DD was in elementary and middle. I also have a lot of built up vacation so I used that a lot. And DD also spent a few weeks each summer visiting X and xILs (out of state). And there were times I would sign her up for day camps for a couple of weeks.

I only signed up DD for activities that occurred at the school when DD was in elementary and only for activities that occurred on the weekends or after I got home from work when she was in middle school.

I will caution you from using your DD12 as a permanent solution. That will set up a weird dynamic between her and her sibs because she will be like a parent to them sometimes and like a sib at other times. Plus once she gets to high school she is going to want to do her own activities which generally occur right after school so she will not be able to participate if she is expected to babysit her sibs after school.


And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off
-- Shake It Out, Florence And The Machine

Posts: 17674 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: A better place :)
tushnurse
♀ Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 2:52 PM, January 31st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I remember those ages, and it was tough because they weren't quite old enough to be home alone all day together, but too old for most of the camps.

I would look for a High school kid that needs some funds, and hire her to just keep them from burning down the house.

I did this for neighbor kids, I cooked lunch, made sure they didn't drown in their pool, and did their daily reading assignments. Made about $30 a week, and watched them for about 5 hours 5 days a week. I thought I was rich!


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8680 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
Gomphus
♂ Member
Member # 29779
Default  Posted: 4:24 PM, January 31st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Awesome - thanks!


me - 41 BH
D'ed
Surviving

Posts: 425 | Registered: Oct 2010 | From: VA
peacelovetea
♀ Member
Member # 26071
Default  Posted: 9:36 PM, January 31st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am in a similar boat with kids sort-of old enough to stay at home some but not enough to stay at home alone a lot. I have a neighbor who is a SAHM and is happy to watch the kids some on a flexible schedule and make a little money. She's been a godsend for those endless teacher training and other random days of school and will take kids that are too sick for school but not so sick I really need to stay home. And doesn't charge for days we don't need if we let her know in advance. It works well!

In summer I have hired a college student to babysit because she didnt want them so much time.


BW, SAHM
D-Day: 6/5/09, drunken ONS on business trip, confessed immediately, transparent, remorseful but emotionally clueless
M 11 years, 3 kids
4/12 Tried to R for 3 years, have decided to D
12/31/12 D final

Posts: 542 | Registered: Nov 2009 | From: PacNW
Gomphus
♂ Member
Member # 29779
Default  Posted: 2:41 PM, February 1st (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

cool. I am thinking I will try for a college-aged person to have dedicated hours one or two of the week days during non-summer to pick them up from school and take them to ballet then her or someone else to do more regular summer hours. I think I can be more flexible by summer, should I get the job.

The next issue is, I could go to juvenile court and re-do the child support b/c I will be taking a slight pay cut and increasing greatly my child care costs. I will likely triple or quadruple my current amount. This won't make exW happy and I am nervous about doing it. Part of me wants to be independent of her money but part of me, b/c she makes 2X my salary, thinks it's her responsibility. dunno


me - 41 BH
D'ed
Surviving

Posts: 425 | Registered: Oct 2010 | From: VA
Dreamboat
♀ Member
Member # 10506
Default  Posted: 3:16 PM, February 1st (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

How long since the last court order/change in CS? If it has been at least 3 years then I would do it. If not, then you have to prove a significant change in circumstances, which varies from jurisdiction to jurisdiction.

And who cares is X is "happy" or not? We are all here because our X wanted to be "happy" and we and the kids get screwed in the process. Even if you are independent of her money, you can save the CS for the kids college fund.


And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off
-- Shake It Out, Florence And The Machine

Posts: 17674 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: A better place :)
Gomphus
♂ Member
Member # 29779
Default  Posted: 3:46 PM, February 1st (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

haha. it has been three years. in VA all you need is a change of circumstance, in this case it would be a new job where I make less money and have more child care.

I guess I don't want her to get pissed b/c don't know what she may do to make my life more hellish. But maybe that's a small price to pay. again, dunno


me - 41 BH
D'ed
Surviving

Posts: 425 | Registered: Oct 2010 | From: VA
lieshurt
♀ Member
Member # 14003
Default  Posted: 9:22 PM, February 1st (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My DD's elementary school had a very reasonably price after school care run by the YMCA and staffed by some of the teachers at the school. That was a life saver for me.

^^^^This

Also, during the summer my son attended day camp at the YMCA. It was very reasonable. They kept him busy with all kinds of activities, provided his daily lunch and took him on two field trips a week. He absolutely loved it.


Choices, Chances, Changes.....You must make a Choice to take a Chance or your life will never Change.

Posts: 13801 | Registered: Mar 2007 | From: Houston
Topic Posts: 9

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