She works in a different office but yes I would feel better if he did look for a new job.
I knew he was talking to someone when we first broke up in April. He denied it until she posted pictures of them on Facebook back in October. Once he got caught, he fessed up. Thats when I heared all the things I needed to hear. That I was the only thing that mattered to him & that he couldn't live without me. So I decided to give it a chance then. & I cant just give up on him & our relationship. I get that he might want his cake & ice cream too.But its like why won't he leave me alone if this is not where he wants to be?
Thats when I heared all the things I needed to hear.
And there in lies the problem. You need to SEE ACTIONS for an EXTENDED period of time. Talk's cheap. Obviously you know now that he can lie to you.
Look, you are my age. You have plenty to time to start over. You are not married to him. You are not legally tied to him. Gently, MOVE ON. I'm 99% sure that's what I'm about to do, but I've got to go through all the legal crap and asset division. Based on what you described, you'll be there to if you stay with him and marry him one day. Run while you still can. Gently, IMO, you should have stayed broken up in April.
No, MC is not a good first step until you see remorse. Been there, done that. My WW went straight from our first MC session to the OM's house. She didn't leave until 1:00AM. I didn't know about the OM at that point. But, once I found out, we continued MC with two different C, and she continued her A and lied to everyone.
He has shown you who her, believe him.
Someone pointed me to the website www.baggagereclaim.co.uk when I started here--check it out. You're accepting crumbs when you deserve the whole thing. Learn how to change your mentality.
It will still hurt to be without him, but it will fade and you will move on. He has proven he doesn't have what it takes and you're ignoring the proof.
MC is a good first step?
As long as you're still actively engaged with him and he's getting the emotional fulfillment of hearth and home from you, you're giving him what he wants while he continues living the single life and schmoozing his OW.
Cut him off.
Seriously. He doesn't know the consequences of his actions becuase you're still AVAILABLE to him.
Read my back story and you will see what I mean..
It is okay to be married and in relationships but always have the alternative of being able to live and thrive on your own if you see the need..For some of us to be able to live and thrive on our own is gonna take some mental and the physical work of saving money..
IMHO, any and every adult who is physically and mentally capable needs to be prepared to live on his/her own when a situation calls for it and be able thrive while doing this..
(((( Hugs ))))