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User Topic: WH doesn't get it
nekorb
♀ Member
Member # 40306
Default  Posted: 6:15 PM, January 29th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yesterday WH made some comment to the effect of, "we are going to need a moving truck to move DD into her apartment in the summer.".

WE?

He does not understand that *I* am not doing A.Single.thing. with him after we separate. I can't. I'm in love with him. I can't do it. Can't be friends.

Why doesn't he get this?


Me: BS 44; Him: WH 47 aka CAT- colossal asshat; Married 22 years
D-day: July 17, 2013, with TT to follow
D filed July 16, 2014, 363 days later than I should have


Psalms 27:14
Wait for The Lord; be strong and take h


Posts: 1728 | Registered: Aug 2013
MartlArts
♀ Member
Member # 36130
Default  Posted: 6:23 PM, January 29th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Because if he can convince himself that you all can be "friends" after separation, he can then start justifying that what he did wasn't really so bad.


excerpt from an awesome quote "Forgiveness - the finishing of old business that allows us to experience the present, free of contamination from the past."

Posts: 980 | Registered: Jul 2012
Tickingtock
♀ Member
Member # 41411
Default  Posted: 6:55 PM, January 29th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

... because thus far he's been able to walk all over you. I wish I could see the look on his face when he sees otherwise.


Me: 31, exBGF, now married

Posts: 149 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: West Coast, USA
nekorb
♀ Member
Member # 40306
Default  Posted: 6:51 AM, January 30th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He's going to be in for a wake up call for sure. My MIL and I have continued to puzzle over why he bought new/additional Christmas lights and decorations for outside this year.

I will not be decorating the house as he normally does at Christmas time. He will be taking all of that with him. (Except the blow up Santa! I want that!) if he thinks HE is coming over to decorate, which I know he does, he has another thing coming.

He also thinks (or thought anyway...maybe I've gotten through to him) that he is coming over here to do the yardwork and anything I might need around the house.

He Just. Doesn't. Get. It.

Why would he want to anyway? Does he seriously think OW would stand for that? Does he think she would go for us going to movies and football games together?

It exasperates me when I think about it. His idea of ending our relationship and what that is going to look like is SO unrealistic.


Me: BS 44; Him: WH 47 aka CAT- colossal asshat; Married 22 years
D-day: July 17, 2013, with TT to follow
D filed July 16, 2014, 363 days later than I should have


Psalms 27:14
Wait for The Lord; be strong and take h


Posts: 1728 | Registered: Aug 2013
grownapair
♀ Member
Member # 33622
Default  Posted: 6:57 AM, January 30th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Exactly! WE CANNOT BE FRIENDS!

WH got all wounded when I told him that there would be no 'family' meals out together or at MIL's while we're separated. He seems to think he can come over here and hang out with the kids and I and play at being friends...i swear if I hear 'You'll always be my best friend' once more I will take a 2x4 and batter him myself...

Best friends don't treat each other like this.

Sending you some strength and peace today.


BS - me, 38, WH - 40
Kidlets 6 and 8
DD1 - I love you but... Jan 2010
DD2 - 5 Jan 2011, booted him out
R attempted April 2011, False R
DD3 - 5 Sept 2011, booted him out again
Dec 2011 - living together as a family
Jan 2014 - separated...AGAIN!

Posts: 162 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: UK
Ostrich80
Member
Member # 34827
Default  Posted: 9:06 AM, January 30th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think he gets it but he thinks he can still keep a foot in the door and keep you hanging. He wants to have both worlds. Ow but still be able to drop in and feel like he's "in" with the family.


BS..me
WS..him
Been with him over half my life
4kid
DD1 10-01-09 DD2 02-12-12 discovered it never ended
OW..nothing special. Just your average skank
Status..#$%@????

Posts: 4741 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: midwest
nekorb
♀ Member
Member # 40306
Default  Posted: 2:14 PM, January 30th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yeah well, not so much.

Perhaps as we start dividing things up he will "get it".

This all makes me so sad. :(


Me: BS 44; Him: WH 47 aka CAT- colossal asshat; Married 22 years
D-day: July 17, 2013, with TT to follow
D filed July 16, 2014, 363 days later than I should have


Psalms 27:14
Wait for The Lord; be strong and take h


Posts: 1728 | Registered: Aug 2013
Ostrich80
Member
Member # 34827
Default  Posted: 12:00 AM, January 31st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm sure mine will have a hard time getting it to when it happens. They are kind of like emotional bullies. Used to having their way and figure they can schmooze their way back in when they need the warm and fuxzies a family gives. Hang in there Nekorb. Your making steps forward. Hope to be doing the same soon.


BS..me
WS..him
Been with him over half my life
4kid
DD1 10-01-09 DD2 02-12-12 discovered it never ended
OW..nothing special. Just your average skank
Status..#$%@????

Posts: 4741 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: midwest
million tears
♀ Member
Member # 24416
Default  Posted: 4:46 PM, January 31st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Stick to your guns. They want to make it as easy on themselves as possible. He wants to look like a good guy.

My WH asked for an in house separation. I asked him where he was going to sleep. He was so shocked. Yeah, I'm going to be separated from you and still let you sleep with me. Stupid moron.

Sometimes they are just so stupid. Like we would just love to be friends with someone who does what they do.


2 year LTA-double betrayal, D-day 1-26-2009 and many months of TT. 2 more recent d-days-way overstepped boundaries.

Married 27 years. Together 29.

3 children 24, 21, 14

OW sex addict and romance addict according to MC.


Posts: 1621 | Registered: Jun 2009
Topic Posts: 9

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