But, at over a year now, I still find that I have a lot of fear and a sense of danger at all times which is a classic sign of PTSD. It conflicts with my logic....I know I'm safe. I know my husband is remorseful and I know he's not going to do this again… Logically. But emotionally I just don't believe that I'm safe. He tells me the sweetest most wonderful things… That he would rather die than to ever hurt me again. But I just can't believe him. It's like it just won't sink into my heart.
Has anyone else seemed to become stuck in this kind of rut? Is it just that I need to give myself more time? My husband and I talk about this several times a week so it's not rug sweeping. Maybe the opposite? I feel like maybe we should talk less about it, but when I talk less about it I get more and more and more anxious until it kind of explodes. Not in a big violent way, just a lot of emotion comes pouring out of me.
I just wish I could relax, trust what my husband is telling me now, and have confidence that I am and safe and in control of my life. Advice? Is it simply the T-word?
[This message edited by RipsInMyChest at 10:03 AM, January 29th (Wednesday)]
His betrayal of me was not because I didn't shine brightly enough, but because he chose to put on blinders.
I'm so sorry you're going through this.
4 kiddos in lower 20's
“Slide the weight from your shoulders and move forward. You are afraid you might forget, but you never will. You will forgive and remember."
DD 6/26/10 (he broke down & confessed)
DD#2 3/14/11 H in OW's car
TT 7/1/11 (NC broken, through emails)
I haven't tried the EMDR therapy. I may go back and talk to my therapist about it if I dont see some changes in the near future.
OHP- I am glad to know that with time this will get better. Your story is so much more horrific than mine. My husband just had a ONS and was instantly regretful. But because of our relationship and how close we were it was just so shocking to me ....and I have some FOO issues. I am working on those and working on me but I just can't shake the unsafe feeling.
I agree with Rachel. EMDR was a life-saver for me with PTSD. Talk therapy was not going to help me with PTSD symptoms. I don't know where I would be without EMDR.