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Newest Member: qwerty22 (45695)

Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Passwords
♀ New Member
Member # 40386
Default  Posted: 10:47 PM, January 30th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes, & then less then a year later I discover he's having another A. Wish I'd been more forceful in getting them all after the 1st one.

Me BW - 39
Him WH - 40
Together 12yrs

OW#1 Dday1 9/11 DDay2 11/12 Dday3 12/11
OW#2 Dday1 06/13 (praying for no more)
We are R & it seems to be going well.

Tough times don't last; tough people do

Posts: 9 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Australia
♀ New Member
Member # 42273
Default  Posted: 10:49 PM, January 30th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

OHMYWORD, couldn't agree more! Both that without passwords/full transparency, there is no reconciliation AND that that is horrible MC advice! You might want to find a new one. I would hate for your spirit to be trampled by a counselor at the same time that you're dealing with the trampling that the A has caused. It's too much! Find someone who you feel like hears you and can help you be heard. Good luck.

Posts: 9 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: GradSchoolGirl
♀ Member
Member # 38391
Default  Posted: 12:29 PM, January 31st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

MC says I need to be patient. She says he feels like he's being stripped of his manhood

Get a new MC.

So, giving you passwords strips him of his "manhood"?

Exactly what does he (and MC) think the A did to your "womanhood"????

Do not fall for this crap. A remorseful spouse willingly gives passwords. It is an opportunity to build trust.


D-Day 11/15/12
5 month PA
Married 20 years, 3 kids
All good is hard. All evil is easy. Dying, losing, cheating, and mediocrity is easy. Stay away from easy.
- Scott Alexander
It was the day I thought I'd never get through - Daughtry

Posts: 1085 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: FL
♀ Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 12:42 PM, January 31st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow, not often do I read something on here that makes me feel surprised, or aghast. But seriously? He's been stripped of his manhood???!!!

I'm sorry he should have thought about that before his prick fell into a vagina that wasn't yours.

That is complete and total bullshit.

Not only do you demand passwords, but you protect yourself, you get a keylogger on his computer, a GPS on his vehicle and a VAR in his vehicle.

When he willing gives you the passwords, look for a hidden phone.

This man is not remorseful. He is hiding.
If he is unwilling to give the passwords then you file on Monday. Seriously.

Why does he get control? That is just messed up.

Oh and your MC fire her. She either is clueless or a Wayward herself.

Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8786 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
♀ Member
Member # 41775
Default  Posted: 2:04 PM, January 31st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My husband delayed giving me passwords for several weeks too.

It's because he was lying and covering up. His EA was really multiple PAs (and a different EA or two thrown in for good measure).

A kinder scenario is that your husband is deleting stuff related to his confession bc he thinks it will be hurtful. That is also inappropriate. You get to decide which details you want, and that includes reading emails. My WH deleted a bunch of stuff early on, and it was really damaging to trust.

If he won't offer complete transparency, he's still in the wayward mindset, and that means reconciliation is impossible.

And I would totally fire that MC, and tell my husband where he could stick his "injured manhood." Especially given that "injured manhood" is an excuse guys use to cheat.

[This message edited by SpotlessMind at 2:07 PM, January 31st (Friday)]

Married: 12 yrs
D-Day: October
Kids: yes

Posts: 277 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: Where am I?
♀ Member
Member # 41794
Default  Posted: 6:27 PM, January 31st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My wh won't give me passwords ..well he didn't when I asked a while ago he was still seeing her I found out later.. wanna hear this ok ready.. he said he was felt violated when I caught him via looking at his phone. Omg really sometimes I can't believe that I'm trying reconciliation with him. I have not asked since because I'm in a fragile state and waiting for ic .

DDay: Nov.6th, Dec 24, Dec.27(2013) Jan 10th(2014) & texting during false R until July 2014.
Me : BS, 36. awesome doting wife & former stay @home mom now back 2school and work.
Him: WS, 43. EU spouse. 7 months long "accidental" affair. Fol

Posts: 68 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: Northern California
Topic Posts: 26
Pages: 1 · 2

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