I use that example because of your WH's reaction to the song when pointed out by your daughter compared to his reaction when brought up by the OW. It's a red flag to me for that reason. When it's an EA/PA, the rosy-colored glasses are on. That person is SO funny, SO smart, SO loving, SO kind, SO talented, SO skilled. Everything SHE does is better than anything YOU do. It's called infatuation. And for me, over the years, I've cultivated (unwittingly) that twitterpation radar. It's SO well-honed now. For me, I KNEW my SAWH was having an EA with the OW who became his PA. It worried me. I discussed it with him (as I had all the others). What I couldn't imagine is that it would become a PA. It took 22 years for his boundaries to loosen that much. For others, maybe it takes 5 years or 35. Yours is definitely in the danger zone, IMHO.
He has also gone to the fire chief who assigns the shifts and explained to him that he does not wish to be assigned any more shifts with either of the two females. So I am hoping this is the end of it.
After we have discussed it, I don't think that it was terribly ominous, I think he just made some really stupid choices and did not think about what he was doing. He said he did not see it as joking around with another woman, just as joking around with the guys. He did mess up, but I don't think it was as bad as it seemed at first. And I think it was a good reminder to him that he has to be on guard.
Married 14 years, together 17. Two kids together, boys age 9 and 10.
I never knew that something could be this painful and not kill you.
Hugs to you.
"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson
Honey Badger don't care. - Randall