Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-
Find a Local Couselor
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: Depressed4ever (43230)

Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: shocked
Sadmumma
♀ Member
Member # 42192
Angry  Posted: 7:33 AM, January 28th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

WOW I'm just so shocked right now.

I logged onto hubbys secret email... and found hotel booking reservation for valentines day.

I asked him whether he couldget a day off on that day and he said "no I doubt it".

I am so angry right now... my finger is hovering over a text message which tells him to f off the lying prick and not come home...

I really want to send it. HELP!!!!

I know nothing good can come from anger..but nothing better comes from denial.

can safely say I wont be sleeping tonight :/


On any given day you have the power to say "my story is not going to end like this"
Me 41 BS
Him 41 WH
6 kids...7 weeks, 5,7,9,11&13
D day jan 29th 2014

Posts: 388 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Land down under
TheClimb
♀ Member
Member # 25895
Default  Posted: 7:43 AM, January 28th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think that what I would do is be at that hotel on Valentine's Day. Let him try to worm his way out of that!


"That which can be destroyed by the truth should be" P.C. Hodgell

Posts: 441 | Registered: Oct 2009 | From: Southern Maryland
Sadmumma
♀ Member
Member # 42192
Default  Posted: 7:45 AM, January 28th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I thought of that... but ten I would have to have all 6 kids with me and they shouldnt have to see that.

I sent the text. called him a lying F and told him he's not welcome here.

Am stricken with fear


On any given day you have the power to say "my story is not going to end like this"
Me 41 BS
Him 41 WH
6 kids...7 weeks, 5,7,9,11&13
D day jan 29th 2014

Posts: 388 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Land down under
Sadmumma
♀ Member
Member # 42192
Default  Posted: 7:46 AM, January 28th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

ooh side note.

I plan on smashing the present his "friend" brought him back from Bali... I think it will be cathartic.

{and yes childish I realise}


On any given day you have the power to say "my story is not going to end like this"
Me 41 BS
Him 41 WH
6 kids...7 weeks, 5,7,9,11&13
D day jan 29th 2014

Posts: 388 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Land down under
Sadmumma
♀ Member
Member # 42192
Default  Posted: 8:02 AM, January 28th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

OK... CRASH AND BURN HERE...

I have packed most of his clothes.. plan on leaving them on the doorstep.

have texted him and FB messaged her. I'm sure I'll regret it tomorrow but I'll worry about it then.


On any given day you have the power to say "my story is not going to end like this"
Me 41 BS
Him 41 WH
6 kids...7 weeks, 5,7,9,11&13
D day jan 29th 2014

Posts: 388 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Land down under
IrishGirlVA
♀ Member
Member # 39694
Default  Posted: 11:13 AM, January 28th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi, I'm new to this board so I hope you don't mind some advice from a newbee.

Just playing devil's advocate here but do you think it is possible that those hotel reservations were made for you and him and he told you he may not be able to get off from work because he wants to keep it a surprise?

Or perhaps he forgot he made those reservations intended for him and AP and plans to cancel them?

I'm just trying to think of other possible scenarios for you. I certainly hope that those reservations were NOT for the two of them.

((hugs))

[This message edited by IrishGirlVA at 11:14 AM, January 28th (Tuesday)]


Me: 40 yrs old BGF
Him: 37 yrs old WBF
Us: Together for 4 years and living together for 1
DDay: June 2013
PA with the mother of his child. Both of whom live in another country.
Status Jan 2014: Done. She's preggo again.

Posts: 52 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Virginia
brokenblackbird
♀ Member
Member # 29541
Default  Posted: 11:15 AM, January 28th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I hope you've changed the password on his secret email account...

And also cancelled those reservations.


Posts: 628 | Registered: Sep 2010
kalimata
♂ Member
Member # 42104
Default  Posted: 12:36 PM, January 28th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi Sadmumma: so sorry that you are here. I personally would have waited to gather more evidence and then confronted the POS.

However he will now be in damage control mode and I'm sure he has already contacted the OW. They probably have a good story already made up now to cover their tracks.

You now will have to be more vigilant. He is lying and knows it, however it will be difficult to catch him now.

Where does he do most of the talking on the phone with her? In the car? In a spare bedroom? If so I suggest you get a VAR and hide it somewhere to capture their conversations. It will help you understand what they are really saying. Get a keylogger and install it on the computer to see who else he has been sending messages to.


Posts: 191 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: USA
Sadmumma
♀ Member
Member # 42192
Default  Posted: 2:19 PM, January 28th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

There is no chance the booking was made for me as a surprise. He made it yesterday, only a matter of hours before I found it. I've kicked him out.... He's not welcome here.

Him and the OW can make up all the things they want. Oddly enough, he's pissed at me. Like this is my fault. Well I've read enough stories on here not to fall for that one......

And blackbird... I live your style, and yes, I have :0


On any given day you have the power to say "my story is not going to end like this"
Me 41 BS
Him 41 WH
6 kids...7 weeks, 5,7,9,11&13
D day jan 29th 2014

Posts: 388 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Land down under
SadInNC
♀ Member
Member # 42170
Default  Posted: 3:05 PM, January 28th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sorry to hear what you are going through sadmumma. I hope you can eat and sleep a little.

kalimata, what is a VAR and how does it work?


BS/Me WH/Him

"Your value doesn't decrease based on someone's inability to see your worth." -Unknown Wise Person


Posts: 293 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: North Carolina, United States
yearsofpain25
♂ Member
Member # 42012
Default  Posted: 4:44 PM, January 28th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hey Sadmumma, sorry you are here. I haven't had a chance to catch up on all of the threads but I'm listening. My heart goes out to you and your family. And yes you should cancel that reservation.


25 years and counting of pain caused by mother's infidelity. Aftermath: 1 deceased sibling, 1 lost family, 3 lost souls.
An affair is an emotional, mental, and sometimes physical (STD) assault on the spouse, children, and the family as a whole.

Posts: 607 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Northeast US
Sadmumma
♀ Member
Member # 42192
Default  Posted: 1:57 AM, January 29th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well I went into cancel the reservation and he hasn't actually paid yet.. But if it gets cancelled closer to the time they will charge his credit card. I'm spiteful I know. And I'm not bothered at all


On any given day you have the power to say "my story is not going to end like this"
Me 41 BS
Him 41 WH
6 kids...7 weeks, 5,7,9,11&13
D day jan 29th 2014

Posts: 388 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Land down under
grownapair
♀ Member
Member # 33622
Default  Posted: 5:59 AM, January 29th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So sorry you're here and going through this but YAY for booting him out and not letting him think that he can cake eat like this! Good for you! Stay strong and take care of yourself (and your kidelts).


BS - me, 38, WH - 40
Kidlets 6 and 8
DD1 - I love you but... Jan 2010
DD2 - 5 Jan 2011, booted him out
R attempted April 2011, False R
DD3 - 5 Sept 2011, booted him out again
Dec 2011 - living together as a family
Jan 2014 - separated...AGAIN!

Posts: 162 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: UK
scaredyKat
♀ Member
Member # 25560
Default  Posted: 6:50 AM, January 29th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I admire your strength. YOU are the prize not some low life scum that thinks its okay to screw a married man and father of six.

Next step is to tell him he's NOT absolved from Parenting duties and that his EOW falls first on....February 14th!

Too bad, so sad for him.


Me-BS-59
HIM-SAFWH-63
Damn autocorrect is responsible for the silly errors, sorry!

Posts: 2933 | Registered: Sep 2009 | From: In my head
kalimata
♂ Member
Member # 42104
Default  Posted: 7:33 AM, January 29th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

ShockedinNC wrote:
kalimata, what is a VAR and how does it work?

Hi ShockedinNC: a VAR is a Voice Activated Recorder. They are small little recording devices that can be hidden under a desk, under a carseat, etc.

These VAR devices only turn on and record when it detects a voice. It can be left in place for several days-weeks before the battery runs out.

Useful for recording conversations that the WS has with the OM/OW. Check the privacy laws in your state to make sure it is legal to use.

I suggest the Sony ICDPX312. Buy them at Walmart. Buy at least 2-3 and hide them around the house. The recordings can be downloaded to a computer or listened to right on the device itself.


Posts: 191 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: USA
Sadmumma
♀ Member
Member # 42192
Default  Posted: 8:16 PM, January 30th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks so much for your support...

+2 from being caught and he's messaging me being nasty .. asked to come and get his computer and tell the kids (I said no not today they can find out tomorrow and have the weekend to process it). and I dont want to see you today... he goes off saying that I'm seeing someone else and now wants a DNA test to confirm paternity of all the kids.

I didnt get mad, I agreed to the test and proposed that I'd pay half and when he is proven he IS the father then he can pay for y share of the test. even sent him a quote for the amount.

I let him come and get his computer.... when the kids were alseep in bed as I didnt want them being upset.

He was asking a lot of questions, trying to find out how much I know.. and how I found out. I stupidly told him I knew about his secret email account as he left login and password lying around. foolish, as he's changed it now...

hes denying everything, and even suggested that I was snoopy as I was hiding something and it was infact me who was having an affair. I handed him my unlocked phone and suggested he have a look.

Even to the point of saying I was with a "boyfriend" yesterday when I wouldnt answer his calls (my phone actually went flat while I was out to lunch with a friend and our kids played together}.

I think really, he's angry at himself gfor what he's done and he's lashing out at me as a result. I havernt yelled or screamed.. I feel ust deeply deeply sad.


On any given day you have the power to say "my story is not going to end like this"
Me 41 BS
Him 41 WH
6 kids...7 weeks, 5,7,9,11&13
D day jan 29th 2014

Posts: 388 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Land down under
norabird
♀ Member
Member # 42092
Default  Posted: 9:01 PM, January 30th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The way they can turn THEIR idiot betrayal into anger just astonishes every time. What must it be like inside a brain that thinks that way? As much as they ruin lives (for a time), I'm always grateful to think at least we aren't so totally blind and full of misdirected rage. Being betrayed is awful...but being so messed up as to react with aggression when called out on their behavior? I'll take the pain, honestly!


Sit. Feast on your life.

Posts: 2300 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: NYC
MomtoRoses
♀ New Member
Member # 42271
Default  Posted: 9:53 PM, January 30th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm so sorry. Sounds so very painful. I can't imagine taking care of a newborn and dealing with all this.


i'm the bs
he is the wh.
7 ddays: affairs, online activities, ea, pa, longterm pa,longterm ea, one night stands.
I'm the last to know.

Posts: 33 | Registered: Jan 2014
Sadmumma
♀ Member
Member # 42192
Default  Posted: 12:06 AM, January 31st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thankyou again. I've drAwn a lt of strength from reading others stories and I know that this will not define me. I will only ever look back to see how far I've come.

I'm going to have good days and bad days but I've started implementing the 180... Ive joined an online health group, now it's about me (and my gorgeous girls).


On any given day you have the power to say "my story is not going to end like this"
Me 41 BS
Him 41 WH
6 kids...7 weeks, 5,7,9,11&13
D day jan 29th 2014

Posts: 388 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Land down under
momentintime
♀ Member
Member # 16394
Default  Posted: 12:15 AM, January 31st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Do not let him switch this onto you. You don't need to defend yourself, so stop rising to the bait. He is blowing smoke making you answer to him, when in fact he is the guilty party.


BS-me FWS - him
D-day 8/04
R'd

"Global editing disclaimer - I edit almost everything I post, and I am not going to post why every time."...re: Bionical girl


Posts: 2825 | Registered: Sep 2007 | From: New York
Topic Posts: 27
Pages: 1 · 2

Return to Forum: Just Found Out Post Reply to this Topic
adultry
Go to :
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.