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Newest Member: Duped12times (45727)

Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: When the WS becomes pregnant
k94ever
♀ Member
Member # 11176
Default  Posted: 5:49 PM, April 9th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What was her reaction?

k9


BS: 56
WS: 53
Betrayed: 23 years
Affairs: 14 (2 lasted 3 months. Rest were ONS)
WS died: 16 May 2011
Do not stay in your hurt forever. Choose to move out of it.

Posts: 6603 | Registered: Jul 2006 | From: Wisconsin
Lobo
♀ New Member
Member # 42456
Default  Posted: 7:55 PM, April 9th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I can only imagine what her reaction was and it must have been a knife in your heart.

I am so very sorry.


Imagine a world where the words you speak appear on your skin. Would you be more careful of what you say?

Posts: 32 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: Australia
strangeasfiction
♂ Member
Member # 42160
Default  Posted: 8:37 PM, April 9th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What was her reaction?
She was relieved. Relieved.


Me - BS 39
Her - WW 34
Kids - 3 & 1
Married - 9 years
Status - FUBAR

Posts: 211 | Registered: Jan 2014
TheClimb
♀ Member
Member # 25895
Default  Posted: 9:02 PM, April 9th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Relieved! I'm so sorry. She is still in her fantasy land; time for her to get a bit of reality. You know he's not Dad material, even she has admitted to this. Yet, this is what she wants. Please, let her have it. Stop letting her and Mr. Asswipe hurt you.

You are an honorable man and a great father, you have tried your very best. It is ok to let her go now. Hugs to you and your children.


"That which can be destroyed by the truth should be" P.C. Hodgell

Posts: 468 | Registered: Oct 2009 | From: Southern Maryland
5454real
♂ Member
Member # 37455
Default  Posted: 9:56 PM, April 9th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

She was relieved.

I am so sorry. Her contempt for you is enormous. I know that your biggest wish is to keep the family together. Be the best example you can for your children.

What do you want them to learn.

Strength.


BH 51, WW 42
DS 23(Mine),SD 21,SS 20(Hers),DS 9 Ours, DGS 3, DGD 1 mo
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 10yrs
I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone.
― Sophocles, Antigone

Posts: 3164 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: midwest
cissi
♀ Member
Member # 21737
Default  Posted: 10:02 PM, April 9th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Strange, relieved as in happy it was his and not yours, or just relieved not to have to wonder anymore?

Certainly she was not really happy about this??

[This message edited by cissi at 10:03 PM, April 9th (Wednesday)]


Posts: 1450 | Registered: Nov 2008 | From: Southern California
Lobo
♀ New Member
Member # 42456
Default  Posted: 10:09 PM, April 9th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have no words to describe her cruelty toward you.

Please take care.


Imagine a world where the words you speak appear on your skin. Would you be more careful of what you say?

Posts: 32 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: Australia
strangeasfiction
♂ Member
Member # 42160
Default  Posted: 10:36 PM, April 9th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Certainly she was not really happy about this??
Yes, she was. Like I said, separation seems likely.


Me - BS 39
Her - WW 34
Kids - 3 & 1
Married - 9 years
Status - FUBAR

Posts: 211 | Registered: Jan 2014
gonnabe2016
♀ Member
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 11:26 PM, April 9th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Certainly she was not really happy about this??

Yes, she was. Like I said, separation seems likely

Based on her reaction, I think that detachment and/or separation is NECESSARY for your own emotional health. What a horse-kick in the head her attitude is. Unbelievable.

Her response to this news is beyond cruel and insensitive. I am so, so sorry.


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.


Posts: 8181 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
cissi
♀ Member
Member # 21737
Default  Posted: 1:38 AM, April 10th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'd like to slap your wife. Sorry, but I just really would like to.

Take care of yourself, Strange.


Posts: 1450 | Registered: Nov 2008 | From: Southern California
Want2help
♀ Member
Member # 20547
Default  Posted: 2:18 AM, April 10th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Strange, I am so, so sorry.


BS- me.
FWS- him.
DDay 6/07 (immediately separated)
RDay 8/07
OC born 3/08
OC Adopted 2014

Reconciled


Posts: 2335 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: PNW
tushnurse
♀ Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 7:20 AM, April 10th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Relieved???Wow. She is off in her own Rainbow/Unicorn world.

Time to make you and YOUR kids a priority. Time to protect them, and yourself. She wants to leave fine. That may actually create less chaos then what you have been dealing with.

I would URGE you to see your Attorney, and file for S or D, and exclusive use of the home.

Your kids deserve at least one healthy sane parent. It obviously isn't her.


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8789 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
confused615
♀ Member
Member # 30826
Default  Posted: 8:00 AM, April 10th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Relieved??

Im so sorry.


BS(me)42
FWH 45
4 kids
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
Status: Reconciled.

..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.


Posts: 7906 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Indiana
SisterMilkshake
♀ Member
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 8:24 AM, April 10th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Time to make you and YOUR kids a priority. Time to protect them, and yourself.
I would URGE you to see your Attorney, and file for S or D, and exclusive use of the home.
Uuummm, yeah, and make sure your child support isn't based on an equation including this OC of your WW's.


BW (me) 50ish FWH 50ish
Married 34 years, 3 children
d-day 3/10 LTA (4 yrs./fucking & flirting)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson


Posts: 9952 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
ForwardMotion
♂ Member
Member # 32608
Default  Posted: 8:28 AM, April 10th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

SAF - I'm really sorry. Hang in there, brother.


me - BH

'It's not the end of everything,
It's just end of everything you know.'


Posts: 410 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: Tejas
allatsea
♂ Member
Member # 38923
Default  Posted: 9:52 AM, April 10th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm not actually surprised that this is the result she was hoping for.

She is deeply entrenched in her lurrrvee affair and NOTHING you could have done would convince her that she is wrong. The OM is amazing and you are an ass. I've been there.

You are heading for more than separation. This is grounds for immediate divorce. If she hasn't been shaken out of her fog by now, nothing will. I've been there.

Everything you say is considered by her to be biased and for your own interest. If you go NC she will hate you for not being mature and sensible. If you stay in contact with her she will hate you for making her feel bad. If you cry you are weak and not a man. If you don't cry and act strong you obviously didn't love her and she made the right choices. You will not win. I've been there.

((((Strange)))) You poor bastard


You can't fix crazy. All you can do is document it

Posts: 739 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: UK
wonderpets
♂ Member
Member # 35901
Default  Posted: 10:04 AM, April 10th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Like allatsea said, you're the bad guy now. I feel for you. Even if you still want to save the marriage, protect yourself and your children.

Posts: 212 | Registered: Jun 2012
TheThreeYearFool
♀ Member
Member # 41218
Default  Posted: 11:19 AM, April 10th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

SAF, I've not posted on this topic before because I had no good advice to give.

I still don't. I just wanted to tell you that I, like so many others, were hoping it wouldn't turn out this way.

What a horrible thing it is, being betrayed so deeply by someone you love. I am so sorry that this has been done to you.


Me - BW 36
Him - WH 41
Together 12 years, married 7
3 year LTA with former coworker
DDay 10/29/13
He says he wants to R... can I live with what he's done?

Posts: 165 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: United States
Lucky2HaveMe
♀ Member
Member # 13333
Default  Posted: 12:49 PM, April 10th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes, she was. Like I said, separation seems likely

She was relieved... relieved that the baby was not yours.

She has shown you who she is, believe her. She likes the idea of the fantasy life she has made for herself. Time to force her to live it.

Remember, no decision is final. There are a few here that have actually reconciled after divorce. As a wise person said a page or 2 back - sometimes you have to be willing to lose the marriage to save it.

So live in the NOW - take the info you have, take the attitude she is giving you - and take the appropriate action for now.


Love isn't what you say, it's what you do.

Posts: 6635 | Registered: Jan 2007 | From: WNY
tryingagain74
♀ Member
Member # 33698
Default  Posted: 1:31 PM, April 10th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm sorry about the results.

I'm sorry about her reaction. You didn't deserve that, and she doesn't deserve you.

Take care of yourself.


BS (Me) 39
Happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

Posts: 3642 | Registered: Oct 2011
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