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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: It never fucking ends
need_hope
♀ Member
Member # 23989
Angry  Posted: 8:20 AM, January 24th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Here we go again. The drama never ends. Just because I was unfortunate enough to have been married to a lying, cheating bastard with really poor taste in skanks (although, is there really *good taste* when talking about skanks?), I am forever stuck on the fringes of the never-ending custody battle between said skank and her baby-daddy.

Dick-breath has gotten a subpoena in the case and if he should perjure himself or if I'm needed as an "anti-character" witness, I'll get my subpoena. Part of me wishes that I would just get called so I can get it over with and have it stop following me around like a dark cloud. The other part of me just wants it to go away.

It's like being tethered to some huge concrete ball that I'm dragging around behind me and I never know when I'm going to come upon a hill and it will just pick up speed and run me down.

I divorced him so I wouldn't have to deal with this shit...and here I am, still dealing with this shit.

Ok...pity party over. Time to find my bitch boots.


Me - happily single
Him - no longer matters
Married 28 yrs
Filed for D 1/10
DIVORCED 12/12

Tact is for people who aren't witty enough to be sarcastic.


Posts: 1708 | Registered: May 2009 | From: East Coast
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 12:09 PM, January 24th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((need_hope))))


You can call me NIK

There's always failure. And there's always disappointment. And there's always loss.
But the secret is learning from the loss, and realizing that none of those holes are vacuums.
- Michael J. Fox


Posts: 22557 | Registered: Aug 2011
momentintime
♀ Member
Member # 16394
Default  Posted: 12:52 PM, January 24th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If you get pulled in, just tell the truth and let the chips fly. Not your job to cushion or lie for him. You are divorced and you owe him nothing. As for OW and child, all HIS problem.


BS-me FWS - him
D-day 8/04
R'd

"Global editing disclaimer - I edit almost everything I post, and I am not going to post why every time."...re: Bionical girl


Posts: 2820 | Registered: Sep 2007 | From: New York
need_hope
♀ Member
Member # 23989
Default  Posted: 2:21 PM, January 24th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks NIK.


Me - happily single
Him - no longer matters
Married 28 yrs
Filed for D 1/10
DIVORCED 12/12

Tact is for people who aren't witty enough to be sarcastic.


Posts: 1708 | Registered: May 2009 | From: East Coast
need_hope
♀ Member
Member # 23989
Default  Posted: 2:30 PM, January 24th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks momentintime. The "problem" is that I would tell the truth. I never revealed my sources so XWH has no idea the extent of all of the information I know about him - the multiple ONS, the anonymous hookups with other men, the very specific interracial gay porn addiction and online searches for nude children.

I'm not looking to cushion him or lie for him, I'm concerned about a retaliatory violent reaction if I have to reveal this information in court. I worry about my brake lines. I worry about waking up to an "intruder" in the house. I worry about murder-suicide.


Me - happily single
Him - no longer matters
Married 28 yrs
Filed for D 1/10
DIVORCED 12/12

Tact is for people who aren't witty enough to be sarcastic.


Posts: 1708 | Registered: May 2009 | From: East Coast
caregiver9000
♀ Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 5:08 PM, January 24th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((need_hope))))

I remember you! I wish I could say it is good to see you, but the kinds of things you worry about that bring you here are never good things.

Yay! that you divorced him so you don't have to drag him about. Boo! that you know his secrets and that his secrets are so horrible that he NEEDS them to be secret.

Do you have an evidence notebook you could send/copy the L for the baby-daddy and he could use it in a deposition of your x? Then the evidence is removed from you and you can live your life away from the skanky custody battle?


Me: 43, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 12 DS 9
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5289 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
need_hope
♀ Member
Member # 23989
Default  Posted: 7:27 PM, January 24th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi caregiver. I remember you, too. I'm actually on here all the time, I just hardly post anymore.


I'm actually doing fairly well. I love being single and living my life "out from under". I have a great job, fantastic friends, a wonderful son and DIL, the most amazing grandson that I get to watch every other weekend and now a granddaughter due to arrive in April. I'm not dating at the moment - although I think I'm ready to get back into that adventure. For the most part, the ex doesn't factor into my life at all...and that's the way I like it. He's just this dark cloud that creeps in and covers up my sunshine sometimes. Unfortunately, that dark cloud can also carry a deadly storm.

I feel like that scene in Godfather 3 when Pacino says, "Just when I thought I was out, they. pull. me. back. IN!"

I wish there were a way to anonymously pass the information off but it all came from a keylogger. There's no way to make it anonymous. Believe me, I've thought about it.


Me - happily single
Him - no longer matters
Married 28 yrs
Filed for D 1/10
DIVORCED 12/12

Tact is for people who aren't witty enough to be sarcastic.


Posts: 1708 | Registered: May 2009 | From: East Coast
caregiver9000
♀ Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 7:38 PM, January 24th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I love the update! thank you. It is nice to see all the wonderful and fantastic stuff. I get the sense that you like the grandparent stuff?

Oh, boy, AND a dating adventure? You are healed!

I do understand the occasional dark cloud analogy. It is just that. And the storm that "could" be in those clouds. It just isn't fair that they are so far from normal and rational. <deep sighs>

Keylogger evidence ought to speak for itself? Maybe it is just wishful thinking, but why would it have to be anonymous? You give the information to the L, he asks the questions while looking at the evidence, your ex admits he has horrible internet habits and viola! he is his own worst enemy.

Or perhaps suggest that they figure out a way to get his current internet history? Chances are he hasn't given up his habits.

Don't get sucked in! View it as I don't know, community service? black box theater? background research for a screenplay?


Me: 43, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 12 DS 9
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5289 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
caregiver9000
♀ Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 7:39 PM, January 24th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I just noticed our divorce dates are the same!!!


Me: 43, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 12 DS 9
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5289 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
Mousse242
♀ Member
Member # 6330
Default  Posted: 5:14 PM, January 26th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Do you have any kind of restraining order on him? Can you refuse to testify because you are afraid for your safety? Can't any court documents from your divorce be used against him without your testimony? After all you are no longer married to him.

Posts: 5464 | Registered: Jan 2005 | From: Chicago
BAB61
♀ Member
Member # 41181
Default  Posted: 8:14 PM, January 26th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I hope you can figure out a way to not have to testify. ((need_hope))


Boss A** B*tch
BS/52 Me, STBXpos/56, dd's 16&14
1st D-day 10/19/2013 EA/PA
2nd D-day 12/7/2013 LTA/Rendezvous
S 12/7/2013 No-fault state, 6 mo S, counting down the days.

Posts: 1263 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: DE
Topic Posts: 11

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