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Wayward Side Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: How do you find a good therapist
confused43
♀ Member
Member # 41802
Default  Posted: 3:02 PM, January 15th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm thinking I need a new one. Not sure of all the titles and letters that follow someones name. I know some can give meds, some can't. Not really sure about the whole mental health world. So how do you find a good one? I know it sometimes takes awhile to find one that you like but how do I search?

My insurance covers IC so my hope would be to find someone that takes my insurance so I only have a copay but I find many dont accept insurance. Are they better and can go that route? I went to my insurance website and they list a bunch of names but so overwhelming and just don't know all the differences. Is somoene with a PHD better? or does it not matter really? I don't want to be cheap and get bad advice but I just don't know how to really find one that specializes in affairs which I think I would prefer.

Also about how much do you pay for IC and MC? Around here it varies but I think it's about $130-150 an hour. That can add up fast when you are really messed up like me : )

Thanks!

[This message edited by confused43 at 3:33 PM, January 15th (Wednesday)]


Me: WW 42 - Him: BH 45
Dday: Confessed 1/12/14 - EA/PA: 8 months
Married: 15 years - 3 Kids(5-13)
It's scary to think you know someone well and then realize you don't~~Even scarier when you realize that person is you!

Posts: 107 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: SW Oregon
Jovie
♀ Member
Member # 41956
Default  Posted: 3:27 PM, January 15th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think it's trial and error. I found our MC through a recommendation from my gyno and H and I both love her. Unfortunately she doesn't accept insurance, but we've been able to make it work. I tend to think the ones that don't take insurance don't go through the trouble because they don't have to because they are so good!

I would start by trying to find a recommendation.


Me - WW, 33
Him - BH, 37
Dday - 12/16/13

Posts: 211 | Registered: Jan 2014
confused43
♀ Member
Member # 41802
Default  Posted: 3:37 PM, January 15th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I tend to think the ones that don't take insurance don't go through the trouble because they don't have to because they are so good!
That was kind of what I thought too. but then when they bill insurance often the charges are way higher like $200 so it seems like they would get more from insurance but it's such a pain in the butt to deal with insurance for them. So hard to know. Would love to find a good one that takes insurance. My husband says don't worry about insurance, find a good one, the good ones don't need to deal with insurance. I think spending so much on therapy would add to my anxiety though : (

I wonder if there is something on YELP for therapists, but then your name is attached to it so probably not a lot of people post. Needs to be anonymous in this case.


Me: WW 42 - Him: BH 45
Dday: Confessed 1/12/14 - EA/PA: 8 months
Married: 15 years - 3 Kids(5-13)
It's scary to think you know someone well and then realize you don't~~Even scarier when you realize that person is you!

Posts: 107 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: SW Oregon
heforgotme
♀ Member
Member # 38391
Default  Posted: 4:11 PM, January 15th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We did a Google search and then looked for someone who specialized in infidelity. There was only one and we have to drive almost an hour to get to her. But she's been a God send. She charges $140 an hour, but our copay is only $20.

Unfortunately though, even if you do your research and find someone who "sounds" good on paper, it doesn't mean they actually will be. C is a very subjective thing. You may have to go through a couple before you get a good fit, but it's so worth it if you can find someone like that.


D-Day 11/15/12
5 month PA
Married 20 years, 3 kids
All good is hard. All evil is easy. Dying, losing, cheating, and mediocrity is easy. Stay away from easy.
- Scott Alexander
It was the day I thought I'd never get through - Daughtry

Posts: 1077 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: FL
DanteJace
♂ New Member
Member # 42017
Default  Posted: 4:14 PM, January 15th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Please don't "shop by price" for a "good therapist".

I have found excellent therapists by asking around, and making a few calls. Their "off the shelf" rates may have been around $120/hour, but both were in my insurance plan, so they have pre-agreed to lower negotiated rates (like $60 or $80), then I pay my 10% copay. Even without the discount: 10% of $120 ain't so bad.

My son's psychiatrist on the other hand is $200 a visit (usually only a 30 minute session), and "doesn't take insurance". But he gives me a receipt (with an official diagnosis code and procedure code), and I submit it to my insurance and still get about two-thirds of that back.

But you only need to see a psychiatrist if you need meds. (Maybe for anxiety or depression.) If you weren't under psychiatric care before your marital problems came up, you might not need them now. Unless: you had an untreated depression or anxiety issue (which may have lead to marital issues), or you are under such severe anxiety now that you need some Valium to get you through for a few weeks. Then again: your GP might be able to prescribe Valium; call his or her office and ask.

Furthermore: most psychiatrists DON'T do talk therapy. For "talk therapy", you probably need a psychologist (usually a PhD) or licensed clinical social worker (LCSW) (usually a Masters Degree).

But more schooling doesn't mean "better" either! Mostly you need someone you feel you can really "talk to".

[This message edited by DanteJace at 4:40 PM, January 15th (Wednesday)]


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Posts: 49 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: northeast US
DanteJace
♂ New Member
Member # 42017
Default  Posted: 4:38 PM, January 15th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Tips from "Psychology Today".

"Psychology Today" is a pretty widely circulated magazine, both for therapists and for lay-people who are interested in the field.

They have a search function on their website. Reputable therapists use this site.

But I really want to point you to these articles:

How to find the BEST Therapist for you

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/freudian-sip/201102/how-find-the-best-therapist-you

I especially recommend the section 6: Call Them. As I pointed out in a post earlier this week:

This is the one medical profession I know where you [usually] get to speak to the actual medical provider. I was able to cross a few off the list immediately by this short "interview".
Also:

Finding a Good Therapist

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/psychology-writers/201203/finding-good-therapist

This article is a bit quirky in that the article author is advising a writer how to help her "character" find a good therapist, but the advice is sound.

(I actually think this second article is better.)


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Posts: 49 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: northeast US
Catwoman
♀ Member
Member # 1330
Default  Posted: 5:10 PM, January 15th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ask your primary care physician. They tend to know, in most cases, good people to check out.

Cat


FBS: Married 20 years, 2 daughters 25 and 22. Divorced by the grace of GOD.
D-Days: 2/23/93; 10/11/97; 3/5/03
Ex & OW Broke up 12-10
"An erection does not count as personal growth."

Posts: 29591 | Registered: Apr 2003 | From: Massachusetts
DanteJace
♂ New Member
Member # 42017
Default  Posted: 5:32 PM, January 15th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I wonder if there is something on YELP for therapists, but then your name is attached to it so probably not a lot of people post. Needs to be anonymous in this case.
I would be VERY cautious relying on online "user reviews" as a reliable way to find -- or even narrow down -- a good therapist.

I'm all for "crowd-sourced" reviews for movies and toasters and maybe a cruise. But finding a medical professional this way is fraught with problems: for one, you lack a large numbers of review to average out the "fake positive" reviews or "terminally disgruntled" reviewers.

I know someone who looked online for reviews about potential surgeons in the area for a serious surgery she needed. Some had more stars, some had less. But looking in to the "ranking system", stars were awarded (or not) for things like "easy to make appointments" and "kept appointments promptly"... NOTHING was related about the actual skill of the procedure!

Really:
Read the articles I cite above
Get recommendations from trusted friend or physician you already know and like
If you don't get any, pick some names at random from a list of folks "in your plan" or listings close to you from http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/
Then call them. Have a brief phone conversation to "interview" them to see if you might be compatible.
If after two or three visits you are not at "totally comfortable" with them... move on.


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Posts: 49 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: northeast US
confused43
♀ Member
Member # 41802
Default  Posted: 2:29 AM, January 16th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you for the information. I will be looking into it quickly.


Me: WW 42 - Him: BH 45
Dday: Confessed 1/12/14 - EA/PA: 8 months
Married: 15 years - 3 Kids(5-13)
It's scary to think you know someone well and then realize you don't~~Even scarier when you realize that person is you!

Posts: 107 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: SW Oregon
kenny55
♂ Member
Member # 23014
Default  Posted: 5:59 PM, January 16th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Some Churches have a free service and you do not need to be a member. I attended such a Church and got therapy there also.

Posts: 461 | Registered: Feb 2009
Topic Posts: 10

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