I think it's very rare to find someone to spent a lifetime with without heartache. Not worth it for me. Just isn't. Then again I had a particularly psychopathic ex and before him I was in an abusive relationship (which seems rosy compared to xwh) so I've had particular bad experiences and it's scarred me for life. I'm making peace with it. One day at a time. Learning to enjoy life for what I already have and can build for myself and my son.
Besides I'm a single mom to a toddler. Sole custody. No time for dating. No interest. Much rather spent my free time on things with better odds of a good outcome.
The only thing I miss is sex. lol
Something about putting yourself out there is scary. Protecting ourselves from the possibility of future pain is waaaay easier than investing in a relationship.
I'm 43, S for 3 years, d-day was when I was 39. I used to think I'd be married and happy now (close to 4 years post d-day), but I think I've kinda given up on ever being in a relationship again. If someone takes me by surprise, then so be it.
Im not really looking any more. I'm accepting dates, but Im kinda going in with "Well, I wonder what the hell his 'problem' is…". I don't want to have to deal with someone else's "problems".
Maybe I"m just rambling, but a lot of us hit the "plain of lethal flatness" at one point or another, many of us multiple times over. I think it is normal, I just don't know what it means.
"For whatever we lose, like a you or a me, it's always ourselves we find in the sea" ee cummings
I'll be 56 soon. I'm wrapping my head around the fact I'll be on my own for the rest of my life.
I live out in the boonies where there are more deer than eligible males. Yes...there are single guys, but I've got standards.
I live in a remote area also. I am 45, slightly overweight and never get hit on - even online.
On the plus side, I have all my teeth, am gainfully employed, own my house, can carry a conversation, travel, and am well read.
It's their loss, but it does get lonely sometimes. I haven't given up, but I'm not really looking extremely hard either.
And I kind of think if nobody wants me for who I am right now it's not worth it
I will not lose weight in hopes of attracting someone. Like you, they need to want me for me.
When (if) I lose weight; it will be for me. It goes both ways - I want to meet someone for who they really are too.
Sidestory - about a year ago I was feeling down. I remember thinking I wished someone would show interest just to give me a boost.
Welp, they did......he was so interested that he would marry me if I wanted. I am not interested in him like that....just as friends.
I had to laugh because I asked for validation and I get this guy that shows up with a HUGE cross tattooed on his forehead with lightning bolts on each side. He looks like he could scare the bejeebies out of anyone in a dark alley. He wouldn't hurt a soul but I had to chuckle at how you have to be careful what you wish for because I sure was not envisioning this as my esteem boost
Disclaimer - nothing against tattoos. I sport a rockin' Tweety Bird.