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The Book Club Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: The Husband's Secret
Skye
Member
Member # 325
Default  Posted: 7:41 PM, January 5th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Has anybody read this? I'm about 3/4 of the way through it and am astounded how well the author captures feelings. I don't know anyone in real life who has been affected by infidelity and would love to discuss the book with another BS.

Posts: 5617 | Registered: Jul 2002
metamorphisis
♀ Administrator
Member # 12041
Default  Posted: 10:06 PM, January 5th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I will look for it Skye. I always like what you recommend and I think I am far enough out that it wouldn't be too hard on me.



“We don't see things as they are; we see them as we are.”... Anais Nin

Posts: 44404 | Registered: Sep 2006
Skye
Member
Member # 325
Default  Posted: 7:34 AM, January 6th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks, Meta. Not sure I "recommend" it--just need to talk about it. And while there is infidelity in the book, there are other, different secrets that the book focuses on, which affected me more than the infidelity. Can't wait to "talk" to you about it.

Posts: 5617 | Registered: Jul 2002
brooke4
♀ Member
Member # 13581
Default  Posted: 10:40 AM, January 6th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Is that the Liane Moriarty book? I read it a while ago. What do you think of it?

Brooke


Me: BS, 40, Him: WS 41
Married: 15 years
3 children
D-Day: 10/2005

Posts: 1499 | Registered: Feb 2007
Skye
Member
Member # 325
Default  Posted: 11:52 AM, January 6th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes, Brooke, that's the one. It's not great literature and maybe a bit long, but her take on living with secrets is right on target. I never needed to live with a secret before husband's infidelity. I had no clue how horrible it would make me feel. Moriarity put into words every and all feelings I've lived with for close to 15 years.

The main secret in this book (no spoilers) is not infidelity. And while I always hurt so badly because of my husband's choices, I have come to realize living with the secret is just as hurtful.

There are three protagonists in the book. When one says, ...for the rest of her life she will suffer from physical symptoms of her "new" disease...That nausea that comes over me from time to time when facing husband's cheating was exactly that--a new disease.

I have a big list of all the feelings this woman lives with as a result of her husband's secret. While I know I'm not alone in my feelings, this book helped me. Wish I had read it 15 years ago.

Will need to do some research on Moriarity and see if she's written other works that might speak to me like this book does.


Posts: 5617 | Registered: Jul 2002
Crescita
♀ Member
Member # 32616
Default  Posted: 11:17 AM, January 7th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I haven't gotten to this one yet, but I enjoyed "What Alice Forgot" and found some relevant wisdom on valuing relationships.

Posts: 3343 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: The Valley of the Sun
itainteasy
♀ Member
Member # 31094
Default  Posted: 12:09 PM, January 7th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think I will put this on my list to be read.

Posts: 3355 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: NWPA
brooke4
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Member # 13581
Default  Posted: 3:58 AM, January 8th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have to say, I really enjoyed it. I felt like it slotted nicely into the category of a lightish read about serious subjects, if that makes sense...

And, yes, I thought she did a really great job of writing about living with secrets, and making hard choices around that and how it changes someone. It did make me glad, however, that infidelity was the worst of it for me

I haven't read anything else by her, but probably will.


Me: BS, 40, Him: WS 41
Married: 15 years
3 children
D-Day: 10/2005

Posts: 1499 | Registered: Feb 2007
Skye
Member
Member # 325
Default  Posted: 7:34 AM, January 8th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Interesting, brooke, don't want to spoil the book, but to me my husband's infidelity was worse than any of the secrets/events in the book. I understand where for others it wouldn't be, and that is why the book spoke to me because THE secret was as much of the problem as the problem!

And, yes I do get it being a light read about serious issues. I read a lot, and sometimes find the simplest books' messages are louder than any others. Or maybe they're louder because they are not cluttered with so many messages!


Posts: 5617 | Registered: Jul 2002
urwyfe
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Member # 29856
Default  Posted: 8:45 AM, January 19th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

@Skye you make a book sound really interesting. I'll have to get this one.


BW 47/WH 47 Married 7+ years
together 16 1/2 years
DD#1 9/08, Reconciled 9/09
"There's a stranger in my house" the stranger no longer exists! Thank God!

Posts: 190 | Registered: Oct 2010 | From: NY
Skye
Member
Member # 325
Default  Posted: 12:25 PM, January 19th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It is good, especially if you've been through infidelity. The story is so-so otherwise.

Posts: 5617 | Registered: Jul 2002
Ursulagrace
♀ New Member
Member # 41856
Default  Posted: 8:02 AM, January 23rd (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I belong to a Book Club. They met last night but I wasn't able to go. I received an email this morning with this months book choice.......which happens to be The Husbands Secret.

Only six months out from DD, WH struggling still with transparency and openness, not affair related but other things.

I don't know if I'm ready yet to read this book, even looking at the reviews made me sad. Any advice?

Not all of the Book Club members know about WH infidelity. Previous posts state that infidelity is one of the books themes so I can't imagine discussing this easily with them.

Golly, I think just by writing this post, I've made my decision...
Yet another thing tainted and spoilt!!!!!


Me - BS
Him - WH
Married 15 yrs
2 children, 13yrs & 9yrs
First DD 08.08.2003, last DD 02.07.2013
8 affairs in total, 6 EA/sexting, 2 PA
Last PA started Sept 2011,ended July 2013.


Posts: 9 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: UK
Skye
Member
Member # 325
Default  Posted: 8:37 AM, January 23rd (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Infidelity is not the theme of the book. It's in there, and my guess is if one hadn't been cheated on, it would barely be part of the discussion. However, six months out is still pretty raw. I can see your skipping next month.

It is amazing how infidelity hits us when we're least expecting it and affects our overall life. I hate missing my book club and if I chose to because of the conversation, I would be pissed at my husband, the cheater, once again.


Posts: 5617 | Registered: Jul 2002
Ursulagrace
♀ New Member
Member # 41856
Default  Posted: 6:44 AM, January 24th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you Skye for your reply.
I will have to miss it, just the theme of secrets is enough to make me uncomfortable.
Thinking of sending out an email saying " I won't be able to read 'The Husbands Secret' because of my husbands secret".
If only......


Me - BS
Him - WH
Married 15 yrs
2 children, 13yrs & 9yrs
First DD 08.08.2003, last DD 02.07.2013
8 affairs in total, 6 EA/sexting, 2 PA
Last PA started Sept 2011,ended July 2013.


Posts: 9 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: UK
Lalagirl
♀ Member
Member # 14576
Default  Posted: 2:20 PM, January 24th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I read it a few months ago - great book!

Interesting, brooke, don't want to spoil the book, but to me my husband's infidelity was worse than any of the secrets/events in the book. I understand where for others it wouldn't be, and that is why the book spoke to me because THE secret was as much of the problem as the problem!

Agreed!


Me - 49; FWH - 51
Married 30 years 9/2/13
2 grown daughters-30 & 27
5yo GS & 20 mo. GD & GB #4 due 8/15(DD30) and 2.5 yo GD(DD27). D-day #1 - 1/06; D-day #2 - 3/07
Reconciled! Construction Complete.

Posts: 5027 | Registered: May 2007
danegrl
♀ New Member
Member # 42591
Default  Posted: 9:58 AM, February 26th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am going to pick this one up! sound really good. Thanks for the "recommendation"


"I can only be the best me I know how, if that isn't enough for you than you should move on."

Posts: 8 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: Mid west
annb
♀ Member
Member # 22386
Default  Posted: 12:39 PM, February 27th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Went to the library to borrow the book...I'm #289 on the waitlist.


Posts: 7467 | Registered: Jan 2009 | From: Northeast
eleanor2012
♀ Member
Member # 35655
Default  Posted: 8:39 AM, March 3rd (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you for the recommendation!

Posts: 52 | Registered: May 2012
LostAngry
♀ Member
Member # 40808
Default  Posted: 4:54 PM, August 13th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

*****HUGE SPOILER ALERT*****

Out of all Liane Moriarty's books that I have read this one is the worst. The ending killed it for me, and I also knew what the secret in the letter was before she ever opened it. It was so obvious.

Then when the BS said to the WS towards the end of the book (paraphrasing) "I'll give you until Christmas and if you still have feelings for (her cousin) you should go to her." Facepalm. Really?!?!?! She is going to sit by like the good little BS and see if she gets picked? Grrrr.

The ending left a gaping whole and made me wonder if the local police in the book were as dumb as a box of rocks. The epilogue made me want to throw the book through the window.


"How people treat you is their Karma. How you react is yours."
Wayne Dyer

Posts: 108 | Registered: Sep 2013
JellyGirl84
♀ Member
Member # 41717
Default  Posted: 1:50 AM, August 25th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I bought the Spanish language version today. It helps me to stay fresh in the language!


Me: BS 30
WH: 30
No kids
Divorced in June 2014
Together 10 yrs, Married for 3 of those yrs
OP: Ho worker
Divorced

Posts: 148 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: Nj
Topic Posts: 20

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