And he held me, apologized, cried with me a little, brought me my cat (my cat GETS me )
And I hate him for it. I WANT to be angry at him. I want in a way for us to fail.
How can I stop this????
I miss the touching. But I wonder how he was with each OW. All he says is it was "different". I'm like "of course it's different. We are different people!"
He will give me details if I ask, but I am afraid to ask...
[This message edited by whiteflower99 at 5:52 PM, December 29th (Sunday)]
him idiotic sex addicted, hormone addled, porn watching, post pubescent male with a walking hard on for anything without a penis
4 kids 15 13 12 8
Earned my *F* the hard way; no longer defining mysel
I said that to say this: If you have issues with him touching you now and you want to R, it may be best not to ask for details.
Stay strong. I feel your pain. If my WW comes back around (not likely, and I'm not sure I want her back), the hardest part for me would be "re-consummating" our marriage.
The sad part for me is that I used to think making love to my H was so special. Then I learned that he was a SA and had sex with many women and that sex was just sex for him. I want that special feeling back but now I know that it was just one of many lies I allowed myself to believe. I'm at a pretty low place this month so that probably didn't help you feel better. Just know that your not alone in your feelings.
I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength!
I believe the truth comes out - eventually. If the truth kills your M, the sooner you know the better.
At the same time, it's also possible that info that comes out now could hurt a lot less than info that comes out after months or years of doing the work needed to R. Even so, I prefer getting all the painful stuff out as soon as possible.
JMO. YMMV. But I can't help feeling that fear will fester....