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Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Christmas present left me feeling sad
Needadrink
♀ Member
Member # 40512
Default  Posted: 11:14 PM, December 28th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just got through the Christmas period and honestly was not looking forward to it. Been in R for 8 Months now and still have shitty days! Married for 28 Yrs and H has been playing around for 20 of those. Yes he is trying really hard and doing all the right things. He bought me a beautiful south sea Pearl pendant with diamonds for Christmas with a card that read " A pearl for a pearl " quite honestly it means nothing to me, neither does his sentiment. Some days I just want to throw in the towel and call it quits, but where will that leave me! It seems like the BS has to do all the hard work to R all he has to do is apologise over and over.I still ask the same questions, still get the same answers, why do we keep doing this to ourselves? yesterday it was about the prostitute he visited early in the year, I even went online and found the place on Google maps, asking him if the place looked familiar, Of course he just looked ashen again. All I could think about is that she would have been 30 yrs younger than me. I mean how can a person compete with that? When and if does it get any easier. He is only home for the Christmas period goes back to his job in a week, he works overseas in a third world country, doesn't help with the R but he is planning on finishing around March, April or so he keeps telling me.


BS 57
WH 58
M 28 yrs together 32
D Day 10th April 2013
20 Yrs of Infidelity with long term affair 18 yrs but only seen a couple of times a year. 3 Prostitutes, sexual Massages.Ongoing Porn. lapdances.

Posts: 88 | Registered: Aug 2013
Needadrink
♀ Member
Member # 40512
Content  Posted: 11:48 PM, December 28th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sorry meant to update my profile

[This message edited by Needadrink at 11:48 PM, December 28th (Saturday)]


BS 57
WH 58
M 28 yrs together 32
D Day 10th April 2013
20 Yrs of Infidelity with long term affair 18 yrs but only seen a couple of times a year. 3 Prostitutes, sexual Massages.Ongoing Porn. lapdances.

Posts: 88 | Registered: Aug 2013
HardenMyHeart
♂ Member
Member # 15902
Default  Posted: 12:04 AM, December 29th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Needadrink))) So sorry for what you are going through. Sending best wishes that tomorrow is a better day.


Me: BH, Her: FWW - Long Term EA/PA
d-day: June 25, 2007
Married 30 years, Reconciled

Inner peace begins the moment you choose not to allow another person or event to control your emotions.


Posts: 5637 | Registered: Aug 2007
FaithFool
♀ Member
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 12:23 AM, December 29th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Twenty years is a long time. Mine played with hookers as well.

Had I decided to stay, he would have had to give up the travelling asap. R is hard enough.

What you feel is totally normal for 8 months out. Don't even try comparing yourself to them, you are your own person, a faithful loving woman, and you will be OK whatever you decide.

(((Needadrink)))

[This message edited by FaithFool at 12:23 AM, December 29th (Sunday)]


DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 17323 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
Needadrink
♀ Member
Member # 40512
Default  Posted: 6:03 PM, December 29th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes I understand that he needs to pack in his job and come home and I know that he does too. Bills need to be paid as we have just finished building a house, he told me of the affair shortly after he started his job overseas and left me to sort out the house. I am finding that I am distancing myself from him whilst he is home as I know he will leave again in a week and I will be back to square one. It makes it so hard to R when you are not together.Also being 58 makes it difficult to get another job. I really hate this mess he has got us into and really struggling at the moment.


BS 57
WH 58
M 28 yrs together 32
D Day 10th April 2013
20 Yrs of Infidelity with long term affair 18 yrs but only seen a couple of times a year. 3 Prostitutes, sexual Massages.Ongoing Porn. lapdances.

Posts: 88 | Registered: Aug 2013
Topic Posts: 5

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