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Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: My screaming lady is back
Sammy2013
♀ Member
Member # 41040
Default  Posted: 4:08 PM, December 28th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sigh. I don't know if anyone else had this, I'm sure you did, Back in the first few days after DDay I had who I called my screaming lady. Whenever I stopped crying, tried to sleep, or had a moment of peace she would show up. Plant herself in my head and just start screaming. Kind go like the wanted poster of Serious Black in Harry Potter movie. Lol.

Anyway, I managed to calm her. Things have been going really well. WH has been doing everything right. Then, the day after Christmas, I lost it. I had been faking my way through for the kids. Didn't feel very merry this year seeing as it's the first Christmas since DDay. She came back with a vengeance. It was just like DDay all over again. I didn't eat or sleep, cried nonstop. WH was on a trip during DDay so didn't get to see it. He was was front and center for this one and was mortified. Cried with me. Apologized for doing this to me. But it still sucked. Today I am in the recovery from the Lady visit. I'm tired, sore, hungry but tummy still unsettled. But she has been placated again.

How many times will she visit? Ugh.


WH -37; BS (me) 38
Married 12 years, 3 kiddos
First DDay 9/13. 3 more since then (trickle truth sucks). 6 years of Prostitutes, 2 affairs in 2013, SA diagnosis now with 1 relapse so far (massage parlor with happy ending 2/14).
Waiting, observing,

Posts: 208 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: Southeast United States
steadfast1973
♀ Member
Member # 24719
Default  Posted: 4:12 PM, December 28th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

She's in my head, as well.


Me- 40- BS Him- 36- WH D-day#1 5/25/09 3 mo. EA d-day#2 11/06/13 Prostitute 11/5/13 in R
"I've seen your flag on the marble arch, our love is not a victory march, it's a cold and broken hallelujah."- Leonard Cohen

Posts: 2256 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Midwest
Sammy2013
♀ Member
Member # 41040
Default  Posted: 4:16 PM, December 28th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Steadfast))). I really hate her. I feel nuts when I sit rolled in a ball on my bed trying to shut her up.


WH -37; BS (me) 38
Married 12 years, 3 kiddos
First DDay 9/13. 3 more since then (trickle truth sucks). 6 years of Prostitutes, 2 affairs in 2013, SA diagnosis now with 1 relapse so far (massage parlor with happy ending 2/14).
Waiting, observing,

Posts: 208 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: Southeast United States
AML04
♀ Member
Member # 39682
Default  Posted: 5:05 PM, December 28th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I hate her :(


Me-BS Him-WH DS 5/12
T-13 M-9
DDay 5/26/13, TT through 8/13
2.5 yr EA w/co-worker, PA 12/12 to 4/13.
Hopeful for R

Posts: 863 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: MA
steadfast1973
♀ Member
Member # 24719
Default  Posted: 6:36 PM, December 28th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I hate her more than the OW.


Me- 40- BS Him- 36- WH D-day#1 5/25/09 3 mo. EA d-day#2 11/06/13 Prostitute 11/5/13 in R
"I've seen your flag on the marble arch, our love is not a victory march, it's a cold and broken hallelujah."- Leonard Cohen

Posts: 2256 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Midwest
Morhurt
♀ Member
Member # 40166
Default  Posted: 12:00 AM, December 29th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

She visited me on Xmas eve. It was awful. I still shudder when I think of it.


Me: BS
Him: FWS
M: 15 years
4 lovely daughters
Working to rebuild.

Posts: 921 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Canada
steadfast1973
♀ Member
Member # 24719
Default  Posted: 3:05 AM, December 29th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

She woke me up an hour and a half ago (2:30am) and won't let me go back to sleep...

I had reason for her after dday1, when he was still lying and TTing me. But he's been really remorseful and open since dday2. But she's still here, louder than ever...


Me- 40- BS Him- 36- WH D-day#1 5/25/09 3 mo. EA d-day#2 11/06/13 Prostitute 11/5/13 in R
"I've seen your flag on the marble arch, our love is not a victory march, it's a cold and broken hallelujah."- Leonard Cohen

Posts: 2256 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Midwest
Sammy2013
♀ Member
Member # 41040
Default  Posted: 9:01 AM, December 29th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm so sorry Steadfast. I don't understand why she keeps coming back either. I could see it if WH wasn't doing what he should be. But he is. And she left for a while. I guess this is another one if those "it takes time" situations. I hate time.


WH -37; BS (me) 38
Married 12 years, 3 kiddos
First DDay 9/13. 3 more since then (trickle truth sucks). 6 years of Prostitutes, 2 affairs in 2013, SA diagnosis now with 1 relapse so far (massage parlor with happy ending 2/14).
Waiting, observing,

Posts: 208 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: Southeast United States
whiteflower99
♀ Member
Member # 13937
Default  Posted: 5:45 PM, December 29th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ditto here.
I hate her too because she is cruel to me and says hurtful things.


What are you pretending not to know?

me FBS
him idiotic sex addicted, hormone addled, porn watching, post pubescent male with a walking hard on for anything without a penis
4 kids 15 13 12 8
Earned my *F* the hard way; no longer defining mysel


Posts: 1711 | Registered: Mar 2007 | From: Greensboro, NC
Hrtbrken1
♀ Member
Member # 33802
Default  Posted: 9:40 PM, December 29th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes, me too. All I want to do is sob and scream. Instead I hang onto my headboard like I'm about to be swept out to sea. Between the holidays, and the 3 year Anti-versary of the start of their affair, screaming lady won't shut up at night.


Me-BW
Him-WH
Together 16 years, married 10.
DDay 07/26/2011, 8 month EA/PA with friend of our family. Months of TT.
DDay#2 Early spring 2012, confirmed EA with another woman.

Posts: 144 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: Sunny South
Kyrie
♀ Member
Member # 41825
Default  Posted: 10:04 PM, December 29th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't even recognize her. And then when she leaves, I'm full of shame and remorse. I feel like I'm right back where I started and all progress goes out the window. Ugh!


Me: BW (47), WH (48)
Married 24 yrs, 2 teenagers
DD#1 01.20.12 When diagnosed w/STD
Told it was 15 mo. PA that ended 6 years ago
DD#2 04.06.14 Truth: PA was 2yrs/8mo
Separated for 6 weeks
Reconciling and healing now

Posts: 192 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: southeast USA
hopeful13
♀ New Member
Member # 41834
Angry  Posted: 5:17 AM, December 30th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have an angry screaming lady and a depressed and sad lady. I never know when or who will show up. It has been 20 months since I found out the awful facts about infidelity that went on for 20 years of my 32 year marriage. Although he is remorseful and doing everything he can to make my life good, I still become obsessed with thoughts of the others with him. There are lasting consequences of his infidelities that are constant reminders. I try to separate the old person who did these things from the new transformed person I live with today. I am successful about 40% of the time. This is an improvement but still leaves lots of time with obsessions in my head. I am hopeful but sometimes I just want this pain and him out of my life.


Hopeful13

Posts: 1 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: United States
steadfast1973
♀ Member
Member # 24719
Default  Posted: 5:22 AM, December 30th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Depressed and sad lady is just me.


Me- 40- BS Him- 36- WH D-day#1 5/25/09 3 mo. EA d-day#2 11/06/13 Prostitute 11/5/13 in R
"I've seen your flag on the marble arch, our love is not a victory march, it's a cold and broken hallelujah."- Leonard Cohen

Posts: 2256 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Midwest
Topic Posts: 13

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