I'm a vivid dreamer. I dream in 3-D, techni-color, surround sound, the works. Dreams, good or bad, always seem very real to me. This morning I woke up out of a doozy: XWH and OW had gotten engaged. I had the poor fortune to apparently work with her, and we were standing around outside with some other co-workers. She was flashing a huge engagement ring and babbling about how XWH's mother and sister were going to get some special wedding gift for her, not "them", HER. Then she looked right at me, smiled, and winked.
I woke up feeling sick to my stomach, the way I used to feel every morning right after d-day. XWH and OW getting married is definitely one of my fears. A BIG fear, apparently. Anyway, I kept thinking about it and thinking about it, and finally invented this little scenario to make me feel better. Hope you enjoy.
XWH: So darling, I've been thinking about our relationship, and how perfect we are for each other
OW: (clasps her giant fake-nail hands and bats her eyes) Omg, SO perfect!
XWH: I mean, I'm a completely worthless parent, you're a completely worthless parent....
OW: *blissful sigh*
XWH: You're such an amazing liar, it's one of qualities that drew me to you
OW: Oh thank you, lover! And so are you!
XWH: (nods smugly) I know, right? My stupid ex-wife had no idea I was banging both of you for nearly a year.
OW: Exactly! Wait... what??
XWH: Never mind, darling. (he kisses her so hard that her tiny brain falls out of her ear and gets stuck in her cheap dangly earring. he frees it and shoves it back in her ear) Anyway, I love knowing so much about you, that you're totally without morals or boundaries.... that I can never fully trust you, no matter what.
OW: I feel the same way about you!
XWH: And you know how my kids feel about you....
OW: I know! They hate me even more than they hate you!
XWH: So I've been thinking.... since it won't actually mean anything, and it'll be fun to be the center of attention and get some free gifts, we should totally get married. We can always cheat on each other if we get bored or something.
OW: Oh pookey!!! That is SO romantic! I lurve you soooo much! Yes, let's get married!
.... And they lived Happily Never After.
It's completely silly but this recovered my morning after that horrible dream. If you are struggling with this like I am, I hope it helps you too!
Me: BS, 45 Him: XWH, 45
Together 8 yrs, married for 5
DDay 04.10.13 Divorced 05.14.13
Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life. ~ JK Rowling