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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: A good holiday. Never would have guessed.
Pass
♂ Member
Member # 38122
Default  Posted: 11:37 PM, December 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I was really worried about what my xmas would be like. Let me tell you about last xmas: It was about six weeks after DDay. I thought we were reconciling. The Princess was fulfilling NONE of the requirements I had laid out for reconciliation. We came down to the country to spend the xmas day with my family. The Princess decided to drive back to the city that night for some "alone time", while the boys and I stayed for three more nights with my family. The entire holiday was a haze of red wine and tears. My family knew nothing about it.

Seriously now, did I think that this xmas could possibly be worse than that?

I got to my parents' farm on Tuesday, opened presents and had dinner with my brother, his wife, and their kids. I got up early the next morning to skype with my boys, and see all their gifts. (Note: Rig Pig got them really nice gifts. I'm trying not to hate him, since he wasn't one of her affair partners, and he seems to be nice to my kids. Still hate him, of course.)

Went for a long walk in the woods, got ready for dinner at my aunt's house. When we arrived, I was greeted like a long lost relative. Everyone had hugs and kisses for me. My parents don't drink, so this was my only opportunity. Everyone made sure my wine glass was always full.

I didn't mention The Princess - and neither did anyone else - until the end of the night. I just mentioned her name once, and the wife of one of my cousins snarled, "Fucking bitch!" I immediately hugged her.

Today, my boys arrived. They were very polite and enthusiastic while opening their gifts. We had ANOTHER turkey dinner.

Tomorrow, I'm taking them to my old tobogganing hill on the back forty. On Saturday night, we're going to my brother's place for chili - he and his wife make this amazing chili that could burn the arsehole out of a skunk (unrelated topic: It used to cause no end of stomach issues for The Princess) - and yes, there will be wine!

On Sunday, the boys and I are taking the train back to the city, where we will hang out at home until January 5. That's the day of my gig. I told my boys that they don't have to come to it if they don't want to. They both said, "Of course we want to see you play!"

That night, The Princess will be back from her trip to Cuba (may Montezuma have his revenge on her tender stomach!) and will take my boys back to her house, just in time to get ready for school the next day.

1. I've never really been into my family before. I should have been. They're fucking great!

2. There will be a little drinking, but not the constant crutch of drunkenness of last year.

3. There have yet to be any tears.

4. What a great fucking holiday!

I hope you are experiencing the love and good times that I am. Y'all deserve it!


Loyal spouse: Me; Disloyal spouse: The Princess
Two sons: Now 11 and 14
DDay: Nov 15, 2012
Separated: Mar 2, 2013 after 17 year marriage, now divorcing!

The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous


Posts: 2111 | Registered: Jan 2013
ItHappened2Me2
♀ Member
Member # 32503
Default  Posted: 11:42 PM, December 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


BS - me (52); WS - him (52)
DD 15yo, DS 11 yo
Married 25 years (together 27+/-)
DDay #1 - March 18, 2011
DD #2 (after 3 + month TT and false R -- the affair had gone underground) - June 28,2011
DD3: June 19, 2013 - he started up again with the

Posts: 241 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: Texas
SBB
♀ Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 12:03 AM, December 27th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm beaming with you my friend. Love this!!

Seriously now, did I think that this xmas could possibly be worse than that?


I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5609 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
sunsetslost
♂ Member
Member # 39885
Default  Posted: 12:06 AM, December 27th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm switching off my iPad now. Nothing on the whole internet will beat this post, pass. Cheers!


Divorced 7/11/14. New Beginning on the Gulf of Mexico. It's real nice.

Posts: 773 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: The beach.
SurelyNOT
♀ Member
Member # 40617
Default  Posted: 12:18 AM, December 27th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So happy to read this - congrats.
Good Luck on Sunday, gotta say love that your boys said "Of course we want to see you play" Enjoy yourself and make them proud.

Posts: 95 | Registered: Sep 2013
persevere
♀ Member
Member # 31468
Default  Posted: 1:12 AM, December 27th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yay!!!


Me: BW-44
Him: XWH-44
Together 9 yrs
DDays: 1/10/2011
Status: Divorced 4/27/11

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling


Posts: 4614 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Texas
PurpleRose
♀ Member
Member # 33129
Default  Posted: 5:23 AM, December 27th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hooray! Your update is awesome! So glad you are enjoying this time with your boys and your family!!


divorced the Dooosh
*****************************
even if you find your voice,
sometimes it does not matter anymore,
when you speak to a man who is deaf by choice.
~dodinsky

Posts: 3612 | Registered: Aug 2011 | From: Happyville
TrustGone
♀ Member
Member # 36654
Default  Posted: 8:17 AM, December 27th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am so glad you had a wonderful Christmas with your boys and family. Life does go on with or without you. I am glad you are choosing to go on with your NB and without the bitch princess to hold you back. Happy New Year!!!!


BW-50
WH#2-51
M-9 yrs T-11 yrs
4 children-none together
DD#1-9/5/11 LTA 2yrs
DD#2-7/3/12 False R
DD#3-4/29/13 (OW broke NC)
Status: Your guess is as good as mine.

Posts: 2420 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Texas
Chrysalis123
♀ Member
Member # 27148
Default  Posted: 9:10 AM, December 27th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am so happy for you, Pass!!


Dont get to the end of your life and find that you lived only the length of it; live the width of it as well.

Posts: 2713 | Registered: Jan 2010
20Hopeful16
♀ Member
Member # 40487
Default  Posted: 9:32 AM, December 27th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I love reading your posts, Pass. Gives me such hope. :) Glad you are having a great holiday.


Me: BS (39)
Three Beautiful Children 12,9,5
DD: 8/24/13
Heading for divorce
Moving on with life

Posts: 107 | Registered: Aug 2013
WeepingBuddhist
♀ Member
Member # 39139
Default  Posted: 9:44 AM, December 27th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Glad your holiday went well!!!

Mine went better than I had dared to hope (admittedly, I set the bar pretty low, but still...)


Me: BS 46
Him: unimportant
D Day:4-27-13
DIVORCED!!! 2-20-14

Posts: 615 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Columbus
7yrsflushed
♂ Member
Member # 32258
Default  Posted: 9:55 AM, December 27th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Glad you had a great holiday Pass! 2014 is going to be a kick-ass year for you man!


D-day 5/24/11
BH = Me
2 children
The first true sense of calm I felt in YEARS was when I filed for D...
Divorced 9/2/14 and loving life!

Posts: 1912 | Registered: May 2011 | From: VA
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 9:58 AM, December 27th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This makes me unspeakably happy, pass. Enjoy the rest of your visit!


You can call me NIK

"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana


Posts: 25774 | Registered: Aug 2011
BAB61
♀ Member
Member # 41181
Default  Posted: 11:04 AM, December 27th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yay! I'm glad you are reconnecting with family...<3 that is great! Wine is great (in moderation)!

I had a very nice Christmas with my girls, it was low-key and NC from STBXpos helped! He sent his daughters texts, that was it.


Boss A** B*tch
BS/52 Me, STBXpos/56, dd's 16&14
1st D-day 10/19/2013 EA/PA
2nd D-day 12/7/2013 LTA/Rendezvous
S 12/7/2013 No-fault state, 6 mo S, counting down the days.

Posts: 1271 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: DE
tesla
♀ Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 11:09 AM, December 27th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


You deserve this happiness and peace.


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4687 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
5454real
♂ Member
Member # 37455
Default  Posted: 11:14 AM, December 27th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Pass, you deserve it brother.


BH 51, WW 42
DS 23(Mine),SD 21,SS 20(Hers),DS 9 Ours, DGS 3, DGD 1 mo
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 10yrs
I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone.
― Sophocles, Antigone

Posts: 2995 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: midwest
pregnantandsad
♀ Member
Member # 40141
Default  Posted: 11:36 AM, December 27th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yay!


M 7 years, together for 12
2 kids- DD4 and a newborn
D-Day 7/2013 he didn't want R and moved in with OW
Filing for D

Posts: 155 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: California
StillLivin
♀ Member
Member # 40229
Default  Posted: 11:41 AM, December 27th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I just mentioned her name once, and the wife of one of my cousins snarled, "Fucking bitch!" I immediately hugged her

And I love your cousin.
Hope the rest of the time spent with the boys is just as fantastic!!!


I don't need further confirmation of what a fuckwit he is. I already have plenty, thanks very much. -SBB
D: 7/2/2014

Posts: 2335 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: AZ
Pass
♂ Member
Member # 38122
Default  Posted: 6:47 PM, December 27th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks y'all. It hadn't occurred to me before that last xmas was the hard xmas. I really am enjoying this one!

Took my boys to my old toboggan hill today. They emerged exhausted and bruised - as they should - with huge smiles on their faces.

Every once in a while I realize that life may turn out okay.


Loyal spouse: Me; Disloyal spouse: The Princess
Two sons: Now 11 and 14
DDay: Nov 15, 2012
Separated: Mar 2, 2013 after 17 year marriage, now divorcing!

The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous


Posts: 2111 | Registered: Jan 2013
Kajem
♀ Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 9:39 PM, December 27th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Every once in a while I realize that life may turn out okay.

I love this!!!!

Enjoy the rest of your family time.

Hugs
K


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5282 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
Topic Posts: 20

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