Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-
Find a Local Couselor
like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: brokenwildhorse (44210)

Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: he took DD
ArkLaMiss
♀ Member
Member # 14918
Default  Posted: 8:55 PM, December 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Do exactly what Peridot said. NOW. He's not planning on giving her back. A member had this happen and it took a YEAR to get her son back! Please, go get her!


Just HOW stupid do you think I am, exactly?

Posts: 1164 | Registered: Jun 2007
persevere
♀ Member
Member # 31468
Default  Posted: 9:00 PM, December 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Document everything Lisa. Watch the Investigative forum for ways to help you. Does he have an android phone? The app I just found on there could be helpful - https://maps.google.com/locationhistory/b/0

I understand your caution but you need to keep track of everything you can. ((Hugs))


Me: BW-43
Him: XWH-43
Together 9 yrs
DDays: 1/10/2011
Status: Divorced 4/27/11

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling


Posts: 4365 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Texas
lisaloo
♀ Member
Member # 20082
Default  Posted: 9:16 PM, December 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am on good terms with the family he is taking her to see tomorrow...they were all very supportive of me when STBXH fucked up last time, and I have no reason to believe they would be involved in any misconduct...as long as I can get in touch with DD I am going to do what my attny says, and just document the bejesus out of everything...


Me: 33 STBXH: 34 DD: 8
D Day (EA): 6-19-08
D Day #2 (SA): 7-5-10
D Day #3 (EA): 11-8-13
WH moved out: 11-18-13
Moved BACK IN (because the lawyer told him to): 11/29/13.
Filed for Divorce: 12-9-13
In house separation...fun, fun, fun.

Posts: 474 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: AL
peridot
♀ Member
Member # 18334
Default  Posted: 9:25 PM, December 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You need to have your attorney file for an emergency court hearing and request custody of your DD in the papers tomorrow based on him taking your DD across state lines and without your permission when he agreed to return her tonight.


I think...therefore, I'm single.

It is what it is.


Posts: 4680 | Registered: Feb 2008
ItHappened2Me2
♀ Member
Member # 32503
Default  Posted: 9:34 PM, December 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You need to have your attorney file for an emergency court hearing and request custody of your DD in the papers tomorrow

THIS ^^^^^

Your attorney works for you. GET A TEMP ORDER THAT SPELLS OUT CUSTODY AND VISITATION AND RIGHTS.

I know you are in In-House Separation because his attorney suggested he move back home -- but get a court order for custody in place (and I would go for exclusive use of the marital home in your position).

AFTER the temp orders are in place, then the attorneys can negotiate the final agreement.


BS - me (52); WS - him (52)
DD 15yo, DS 11 yo
Married 25 years (together 27+/-)
DDay #1 - March 18, 2011
DD #2 (after 3 + month TT and false R -- the affair had gone underground) - June 28,2011
DD3: June 19, 2013 - he started up again with the

Posts: 241 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: Texas
peridot
♀ Member
Member # 18334
Default  Posted: 9:58 PM, December 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What exactly does the parenting clause say?


I think...therefore, I'm single.

It is what it is.


Posts: 4680 | Registered: Feb 2008
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 10:54 PM, December 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You need to have your attorney file for an emergency court hearing and request custody of your DD in the papers tomorrow based on him taking your DD across state lines and without your permission when he agreed to return her tonight.

Light a fire under your attorney's ass and make this happen TOMORROW. You need an emergency hearing. Immediate SOLE custody with only supervised visitation at a secure location, IF FUCKING ANY, for this SOB who has kidnapped your daughter. Exclusive use of the marital home. FUCKING-A your attorney needs to make this happen!

I do not want to see happen to you what has happened to a few others here, aka parental kidnapping and the children are fucking GONE for months! This kind of stuff happens. It happens!

Blood is thicker than water, Honey. You're relying on the kindness of people who aren't related to you and who have your STBX to rely on for truth. If he's lied to the court & accused you of parental abuse & neglect, filing for sole custody, imagine what he's filled his family's heads with?!


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9234 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
lisaloo
♀ Member
Member # 20082
Default  Posted: 10:59 PM, December 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The parenting clause/standard custody schedule says the noncustodial parent gets DD the 1st and 3rd weekend of every month, on Wednesday evenings, and it spells out holidays...This is the reason I have no recourse, because the noncustodial parent gets the child from the 26th until the day before school starts back...STBXH is using the custody schedule to justify his taking her, despite the fact that we are both fighting for custody, and no one has been named the custodial parent-and in a weird way, this works to my advantage (according to the attny) because he has assumed the role of the noncustodial parent-which essentially means he placed ME as the custodial parent, even though he is trying to get custody. From here on out, because HE placed himself into this role, I can follow the schedule to the letter with HIM as the visiting parent.

It just sucks, because he stole my time off school and work to be with DD. She'll be back with 3 days left for me to see her before school starts back.


Me: 33 STBXH: 34 DD: 8
D Day (EA): 6-19-08
D Day #2 (SA): 7-5-10
D Day #3 (EA): 11-8-13
WH moved out: 11-18-13
Moved BACK IN (because the lawyer told him to): 11/29/13.
Filed for Divorce: 12-9-13
In house separation...fun, fun, fun.

Posts: 474 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: AL
peridot
♀ Member
Member # 18334
Default  Posted: 11:13 PM, December 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh okay, I see where the attorney is going with this now. If you think he will bring her back then I would do whatever your attorney says. I would still try to get an emergency court hearing for custody based on his actions and I would try to get exclusive rights to the home or whatever it's called. I think he just fucked himself all up and down.

We're just all worried he's not going to bring her back.


I think...therefore, I'm single.

It is what it is.


Posts: 4680 | Registered: Feb 2008
Gottagetthrough
Member
Member # 27325
Default  Posted: 11:15 PM, December 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

GET IN THE CAR AND GET HER NOW

she is not with a parent. You can now get the cops involved. Go to granny's with a cop and get your dd

Do it now.

(Only on page 2 of this thread so forgive me if page 3 states that you've done this.)

[This message edited by Gottagetthrough at 11:19 PM, December 26th (Thursday)]


Posts: 1332 | Registered: Jan 2010
ItHappened2Me2
♀ Member
Member # 32503
Default  Posted: 11:24 PM, December 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh okay, I see where the attorney is going with this now. If you think he will bring her back then I would do whatever your attorney says. I would still try to get an emergency court hearing for custody based on his actions and I would try to get exclusive rights to the home or whatever it's called. I think he just fucked himself all up and down.

I'm with peridot on this. BUT HE ISN'T WITH YOUR DAUGHTER RIGHT NOW. If you find out he leaves her again before you get the temp order for sole custody, then go get her. Visitation isn't for extended family -- it is for the parent. His extended family is not entitled to anything.

I don't want to see you loose your daughter to this ASS!!!!!

And, like Nature_Girl suggested - get sole custody with supervised visitation (if you can't get the adoption annulled -- or terminate his parental rights). He took your child without permission, did not take her meds or shoes and left her!!!!!!!!


BS - me (52); WS - him (52)
DD 15yo, DS 11 yo
Married 25 years (together 27+/-)
DDay #1 - March 18, 2011
DD #2 (after 3 + month TT and false R -- the affair had gone underground) - June 28,2011
DD3: June 19, 2013 - he started up again with the

Posts: 241 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: Texas
Gottagetthrough
Member
Member # 27325
Default  Posted: 12:20 PM, December 27th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

exactly what above poster said. visitation is for parents, not extended family


Posts: 1332 | Registered: Jan 2010
tushnurse
♀ Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 1:02 PM, December 27th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm sorry that this is happening to you Lisa but I you need to stop being na´ve, and thinking that everyone is on your side.

His family will protect him, his family will help him, esp if he has been given the opportunity to tell them whatever lies he can come up with. I still don't see why it would not be ok for you to get in your car, and go get her. You are her mother, they are grandparents by adoptions for heavens sake. You get to be the decision maker not these people and not this creepy predator of a guy that is her "dad" by adoption.

I get what your lawyer is saying, but unless she has kids of her own, or has been involved with a case where a kid has been abducted she is not seeing the risk here like you and the rest of us are.

Go Get HER NOW!!!!


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 7785 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
confused615
♀ Member
Member # 30826
Default  Posted: 1:29 PM, December 27th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

^^^^^THIS x's 1000^^^^^


You are going on the assumption that he will bring her back.

He has lied to you already.


You have no reason to trust that he will bring her back. NONE.


BS(me)41
FWH 45
4 kids..21,20,11,9
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
Status: Happily Reconciled.

..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.


Posts: 7112 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Indiana
cliffside
♀ Member
Member # 38803
Default  Posted: 1:34 PM, December 27th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm with others on getting your daughter. If your in-laws are reasonable they will understand that he is not there and you took time off to be with her. But think about it, if they were reasonable and had the interest of your child at heart, wouldn't they have called you when he left and told you she has no shoes and medication?
T/j
I'm watching a similar thing unfold with my in-laws (not with us). My nephew is in the care of his alcoholic Father and my H's family knew he had fallen off the wagon, gone into a detox center, and NO ONE called his Mother (until I found out). All they cared about was covering it up so the custody agreement doesn't get overturned. He turns 18 soon so it's a hard one for his Mom. They've been having him run errands for his Dad so he can drink. It's so fucked up - it amazes me what people are capable of.

Hugs to you and get your daughter back!


Me: BS 39
Him: WH 41
2 Kids
D-Day: 2/3/13
Broke NC 3/14
Very skeptically in R for now...

Posts: 261 | Registered: Mar 2013
Topic Posts: 55
Pages: 1 · 2 · 3

Return to Forum: Divorce/Separation Post Reply to this Topic
adultry
Go to :
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.