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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: he took DD
lisaloo
♀ Member
Member # 20082
Default  Posted: 4:07 PM, December 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

oops...duplicate message! I must be stressed

[This message edited by lisaloo at 4:18 PM, December 26th (Thursday)]


Me: 33 STBXH: 34 DD: 8
D Day (EA): 6-19-08
D Day #2 (SA): 7-5-10
D Day #3 (EA): 11-8-13
WH moved out: 11-18-13
Moved BACK IN (because the lawyer told him to): 11/29/13.
Filed for Divorce: 12-9-13
In house separation...fun, fun, fun.

Posts: 474 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: AL
Holly-Isis
♀ Member
Member # 13447
Default  Posted: 5:06 PM, December 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The fuck.

Get a lawyer that has teeth and will fight for your DD. I'm concerned he will molest her. Something isn't sitting right.


"Being in love" first moved them to promise fidelity: this quieter love enables them to keep the promise. *CS Lewis*

❣I hope my issues don't discourage ur healing. I've buried a lot & my WH hasn't done his part in R❣


Posts: 10980 | Registered: Jan 2007 | From: Limbo
MakingLemonade
♀ Member
Member # 41143
Default  Posted: 5:11 PM, December 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I cannot imagine holding myself together in this scenario. Mamma Bear would be on a tirade! But that would likely do more damage. Thoughts of strength and discernment for you!


Me: 40's; XBS Him: 40's; XWS/NPD/SA
D-day 1: 5/2007- A #1; 7/2007 A #1 continued-R
D-day 2: 3/2013 A #2/multi-ONSs; 4/2013 A #2 continues to present
D: 7/2013 (25 yrs together; days shy of 22nd anniversary-GOAL MET!)
Our kids: teen & tween

Posts: 168 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: Southern US
devistatedmom
♀ Member
Member # 24961
Default  Posted: 5:11 PM, December 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I agree Holly, but I do think her lawyer is right. Legally, at the moment, he's her dad. There isn't any written custody agreement, so he has as much right to take her somewhere at mom does. Isn't that what we advise others to be careful of? Not to let their WS's take the kids out of state/province/country without an agreement?

It sounds to me like your lawyer is going to go through everything to see if you can void the adoption agreement, and make sure you get what you want in the end. Hopefully he brings her back on Tues, then of course, you won't let him take her again until the agreement is in place.

I'm also impressed you were able to get in touch with your lawyer on Boxing day. I would think you wouldn't be able to until tomorrow.

Hope you have spoken to your DD and all is well. {{{Hugs}}}


BS(me) 46, Two wonderful teens.
He is no longer my best friend. Repeat until it sticks.

WH says marriage is over: May 15, 2009.
EA#2 July 20, 2009. Legally sep: Aug 16, 2009. DIVORCED!!!! Signed Nov 23, final Dec 24, 2010, adultery listed.


Posts: 5359 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Canada
peridot
♀ Member
Member # 18334
Default  Posted: 5:20 PM, December 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He is probably only doing this to spite you and he knows he can get away with it right now. This will not look good in front of a judge though. He may have adopted her but she is your biological child, not his. I would get that thrown out since you agreed to it under false pretenses.


I think...therefore, I'm single.

It is what it is.


Posts: 4678 | Registered: Feb 2008
careerlady
♀ Member
Member # 16958
Default  Posted: 5:43 PM, December 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

OMG this is terrible! Please tell me you are talking to DD on a regular basis! I agree you need to bring down hellfire. Try to get that adoption thrown put. File for sole custody. Make sure you put a kidnapping clause in your custody orders. What a freaking nightmare! My DS is much younger but I would be FREAKING out. It is pretty fucking weird that he is so passionate about his role of father that he would take her like this. You should make sure you and an IC ask DD some careful questions.

What a bastard. Document everything and give your lawyer no peace.


Me (BS, 35); The Snake (WS, 36) 13yrs together; 1 baby boy (DOB 7/12)
Serial cheater-Multiple OWs, Multiple D-Days
D by default 5/3/14!
Hasn't moved out yet
Summary: http://youtu.be/iaysTVcounI

Posts: 930 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: Northern California
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 5:57 PM, December 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Holly, I'm thinking the same thing. I'm thinking this man is a fucking predator, as evidenced in part by him starting adoption proceedings while separated from the mother of the child he's looking to adopt. That's not right. Normal men do not do that kind of thing.

Lisaloo, are you in any kind of contact with your STBX, your DD, or any of the relatives he's kidnapped her to see?


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9231 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
lisaloo
♀ Member
Member # 20082
Default  Posted: 6:39 PM, December 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am TRYING to get in touch with DD...so far no luck.


Me: 33 STBXH: 34 DD: 8
D Day (EA): 6-19-08
D Day #2 (SA): 7-5-10
D Day #3 (EA): 11-8-13
WH moved out: 11-18-13
Moved BACK IN (because the lawyer told him to): 11/29/13.
Filed for Divorce: 12-9-13
In house separation...fun, fun, fun.

Posts: 474 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: AL
ItHappened2Me2
♀ Member
Member # 32503
Default  Posted: 6:48 PM, December 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Lisa - do you have the numbers for any/all of the family members that WH was going to be visiting? CALL THEM. Over and over if you have to until you speak to your daughter. And tell them that he took her without informing you and without your permission.

If you can't get in touch with her shortly. Get in the car and start driving and go get her. What is he going to do? Report you for taking your child who he took without your knowledge or permission??


BS - me (52); WS - him (52)
DD 15yo, DS 11 yo
Married 25 years (together 27+/-)
DDay #1 - March 18, 2011
DD #2 (after 3 + month TT and false R -- the affair had gone underground) - June 28,2011
DD3: June 19, 2013 - he started up again with the

Posts: 241 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: Texas
ArkLaMiss
♀ Member
Member # 14918
Default  Posted: 6:50 PM, December 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What do you mean by "trying"? Do you know where he's headed? If so, go and get the copsand pick her up. Do it. Take proof that he was to have dropped her off by now. Also, take your adoption papers and whatever you need to convince the cops you believe her to be in danger!


Just HOW stupid do you think I am, exactly?

Posts: 1163 | Registered: Jun 2007
ArkLaMiss
♀ Member
Member # 14918
Default  Posted: 6:51 PM, December 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Get in your car. NOW. GO GET HER! Seriously.


Just HOW stupid do you think I am, exactly?

Posts: 1163 | Registered: Jun 2007
lisaloo
♀ Member
Member # 20082
Default  Posted: 8:34 PM, December 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just an update...I FINALLY got DD on the phone...I had to threaten contempt of court and have my father text him and tell him the same (how freaking childish is it that I have to have my dad help make my STBXH act like a grown up??).

DD is fine (thank god) and, aside from telling me she loves me a hundred times more often than is normal, she seems to be having a good time...

Here's the fun part...STBXH refused to bring DD back here tonight-as was planned. And when DD called me, she called from STBXH's number...only, half way through our conversation she asked me why I was calling from daddy's phone...That SOB isnt even THERE with her. He is supposed to work tomorrow, so he had to come back HERE tonight. He conference called his mother's house and me, to make it look like he was there and she was calling me. I am sure he listened to the whole conversation. Which is fine, because he will have heard about how he didnt pack any shoes for her and she doesnt have her medicine. What an idiot. And this is the person who wants custody of my child. Shoes are kind of important...as is medication.

Seriously though...He was coming back here tonight ANYHOW, and he refused to bring her to me.

You cant make this shit up.

DD is going to call me EVERY DAY that she is gone...she know she can call me anytime...and if I dont hear from her one day, his ass will be grass and I will be a lawnmower.


Me: 33 STBXH: 34 DD: 8
D Day (EA): 6-19-08
D Day #2 (SA): 7-5-10
D Day #3 (EA): 11-8-13
WH moved out: 11-18-13
Moved BACK IN (because the lawyer told him to): 11/29/13.
Filed for Divorce: 12-9-13
In house separation...fun, fun, fun.

Posts: 474 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: AL
BAB61
♀ Member
Member # 41181
Default  Posted: 8:40 PM, December 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Take pics of you mowing his ass ... and make sure those blades are SHARP!

I'm glad you got to talk to DD ... document, document and document. He forgot her shoes and medicine. He wasn't even with her. She is with non-custodial adults against the agreement he made with you. Smear that grease stain to kingdom come!


Boss A** B*tch
BS/52 Me, STBXpos/56, dd's 16&14
1st D-day 10/19/2013 EA/PA
2nd D-day 12/7/2013 LTA/Rendezvous
S 12/7/2013 No-fault state, 6 mo S, counting down the days.

Posts: 1271 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: DE
ItHappened2Me2
♀ Member
Member # 32503
Default  Posted: 8:40 PM, December 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

OMG --- DOCUMENT DOCUMENT DOCUMENT

He didn't bring her meds???? What meds is she on -- how detrimental is not having it? Is it something that the InLaws can pick up there or is a prescription?

And call them to get her a pair of shoes like NOW!!!!

What a F**KING Jerk!


BS - me (52); WS - him (52)
DD 15yo, DS 11 yo
Married 25 years (together 27+/-)
DDay #1 - March 18, 2011
DD #2 (after 3 + month TT and false R -- the affair had gone underground) - June 28,2011
DD3: June 19, 2013 - he started up again with the

Posts: 241 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: Texas
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 8:41 PM, December 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So where is your DD right this minute? There in your home? GO GET HER!!!!!!!!!!

Or is she somewhere in your town? GO GET HER!!!!!!!!!

Go get her. Go. Get your dad in the car with you, get every male relative you have, and go get her right now. RIGHT NOW!

I am stunned.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9231 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
ArkLaMiss
♀ Member
Member # 14918
Default  Posted: 8:42 PM, December 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ok, why don't you go pick her up if you know where she is? He's not even WITH her! Go there, get a cop from that town and get your child! I do NOT believe he's bringing her home on Tuesday!


Just HOW stupid do you think I am, exactly?

Posts: 1163 | Registered: Jun 2007
lisaloo
♀ Member
Member # 20082
Default  Posted: 8:46 PM, December 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

DD is with STBXHs mother in another city...I told DD to tell her (crazy) grandmother to go to the store and get her meds (she takes a daily OTC med to prevent asthma flare ups, so she's good as long as she gets it). I also addressed the shoe issue.

And I am documenting the shit out of this.

I am TRYING not to be a psycho and show up and yank her away from the extended family (though I really want to...), because THAT wont look good in court for me...legally, the asshat can take her to see them right now...the fact that he lied and manipulated the situation will also not look good in court for him.

I just have to hope that in the end the TRUTH of all this shit will come out in court and I will get my DD. If not, I will bankrupt myself fighting to get her.


Me: 33 STBXH: 34 DD: 8
D Day (EA): 6-19-08
D Day #2 (SA): 7-5-10
D Day #3 (EA): 11-8-13
WH moved out: 11-18-13
Moved BACK IN (because the lawyer told him to): 11/29/13.
Filed for Divorce: 12-9-13
In house separation...fun, fun, fun.

Posts: 474 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: AL
peridot
♀ Member
Member # 18334
Default  Posted: 8:50 PM, December 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have dealt with this so I have some experience with this shit. He isn't there with your DD. He took her without your permission across state lines. You get in the car tonight and make sure you have adoption papers and a birth certificate and divorce papers of any kind that has any custody orders of any kind. You get a police escort and go get your DD. Tonight!

His family can't keep your DD from you when he's not there. Go get your DD now!

Editing this because I just seen your last post.

You won't look crazy in court. I had to do exactly what we are all telling you to do. It ended badly for him, not me. Go get your DD!

He took her across state lines without your permission!

[This message edited by peridot at 8:53 PM, December 26th (Thursday)]


I think...therefore, I'm single.

It is what it is.


Posts: 4678 | Registered: Feb 2008
ArkLaMiss
♀ Member
Member # 14918
Default  Posted: 8:51 PM, December 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

No! Go call mil and have her meet you at a store to get her some shoes, then TAKE HER HOME!


Just HOW stupid do you think I am, exactly?

Posts: 1163 | Registered: Jun 2007
ArkLaMiss
♀ Member
Member # 14918
Default  Posted: 8:53 PM, December 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Do not think for a minute these people are on your side. Until orders are in place, she goes NOWHERE near him or his family!


Just HOW stupid do you think I am, exactly?

Posts: 1163 | Registered: Jun 2007
Topic Posts: 55
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