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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: First Christmas splitting time with stbxh
lisaloo
♀ Member
Member # 20082
Sad  Posted: 8:54 PM, December 25th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

and I am so miserable right now...I had DD up until 6pm, when asshat showed up at my parents house to get her. All day long that deadline was looming, and, because of that, at times it didnt feel much like Christmas...

Now I am back at the marital home (aka hell) where asshat and I are doing in-house separation, and it's empty and quiet and it doesnt feel like Christmas because my whole world (DD) is gone with asshat to his psycho mother's house.

All I can think about is how I wont get to have her next year, because it will be asshat's year...and then that turns into panic over the custody battle...and that leads into worrying about going to court (because we WILL end up in court)...and I cant do anything but sit here, alone and miserable, and WORRY about all the crazy unknowns in my life right now...and then I get mad because NONE OF THIS IS MY FAULT!! Asshat chose ALL of this, and I just have to sit here and suffer for the bullshit choices HE made.

And loop that thought process over and over again, and that is my first Christmas night alone EVER.

This shit sucks.

Where's the wine?


Me: 33 STBXH: 34 DD: 8
D Day (EA): 6-19-08
D Day #2 (SA): 7-5-10
D Day #3 (EA): 11-8-13
WH moved out: 11-18-13
Moved BACK IN (because the lawyer told him to): 11/29/13.
Filed for Divorce: 12-9-13
In house separation...fun, fun, fun.

Posts: 474 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: AL
ItHappened2Me2
♀ Member
Member # 32503
Default  Posted: 9:00 PM, December 25th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm so sorry lisaloo.

I haven't had to go through this yet - so no words of advice -- just (((((HUGS))))


BS - me (52); WS - him (52)
DD 15yo, DS 11 yo
Married 25 years (together 27+/-)
DDay #1 - March 18, 2011
DD #2 (after 3 + month TT and false R -- the affair had gone underground) - June 28,2011
DD3: June 19, 2013 - he started up again with the

Posts: 241 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: Texas
Chrysalis123
♀ Member
Member # 27148
Default  Posted: 9:07 PM, December 25th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh Lisaloo, I remember feeling just like you.

For me i had to change my thinking and celebrate Christmas in a new and different way. when it is not my year, the kids and I celebrate before if possible. We have some new traditions. I try to find fun things for me to do over the actual holiday when they are not with me.

It is different, but I refuse to let him steal anything more from me, or ruin my kids' memories of spending holidays with me.


Donít get to the end of your life and find that you lived only the length of it; live the width of it as well.†

Posts: 2708 | Registered: Jan 2010
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 9:22 PM, December 25th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I join you in your misery.

I swear I'm ready to join Doctors without Borders once a year for Christmas. Just to escape this pain and NOT be dwelling on negativity. Just to do something, anything different!


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9827 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
rainagain
♀ Member
Member # 14917
Default  Posted: 9:53 PM, December 25th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I get it. Try to look at it as one day at a time and focus on the good things - your kids need you to do this plus it is good for you. But you have to make a conscious decision about how to handle today and decide not to think about tomorrow yet.

Just give it a try for a week and you'll find it helps. I try to do this (sometimes it is too hard) but it has defintely helped me and my kids.

In -house is it's own special hell I know. Do you have an end in sight for that?


Now, faith is being sure of what you hope for and certain of what you cannot see. Heb 11:1
I done been through the pain and the sorrow the struggle is nothing but love. Maino
Me: Divorced BS 49
DS22, DD19, DS17

Posts: 1298 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Massachusetts
lisaloo
♀ Member
Member # 20082
Default  Posted: 10:11 PM, December 25th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sadly, no...there is no end in sight. STBXH counter filed and asked the judge for an emergency hearing to get me out of the marital home and for him to get custody of DD, because he's claiming I am an unfit mother...total bs...my attny replied that an emergency hearing would be a waste of the courts time...so now we play the court date waiting game.

Seriously, I can totally see for the first time in my life why there are so many suicides this time of year (and no worries, I'm not even close to that point...but I can completely see how agonizing this time of year can be when things just suck).


Me: 33 STBXH: 34 DD: 8
D Day (EA): 6-19-08
D Day #2 (SA): 7-5-10
D Day #3 (EA): 11-8-13
WH moved out: 11-18-13
Moved BACK IN (because the lawyer told him to): 11/29/13.
Filed for Divorce: 12-9-13
In house separation...fun, fun, fun.

Posts: 474 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: AL
Topic Posts: 6

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