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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Phone calls suck.
PurpleRose
♀ Member
Member # 33129
Default  Posted: 9:56 PM, December 24th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

When I try to talk to my son10 on the phone he is always very uncomfortable. I know it's cause he feels disloyal to his dad. (We've chatted about it). I don't ever make a big deal about it to 10 because the poor little guy already feels so stuck in the middle as it is.

But why, then, can he chat for 15 minutes on the phone with the Doosh? Is it because I have never tried to make him feel guilty for wanting to talk to his dad? Because I've always encouraged him to call his dad every night?

There are some weekends (most, actually) that I don't talk to my son at all because I know he is going to act weird and uncomfortable.

Tonight I just wanted to say good night. It's Christmas Eve. The first time ever that I have not put out cookies for Santa and left reindeer treats with my son. :( I just wanted to talk to him and I got one word answers, blank pauses, and finally said, "can't talk huh?" To which he affirmed.

I typically leave the room when he calls his dad so he can talk openly without feeling torn.

If I hadn't reached indifference towards the Dooosh I'd really hate his broken ass right now.


divorced the Dooosh
*****************************
even if you find your voice,
sometimes it does not matter anymore,
when you speak to a man who is deaf by choice.
~dodinsky

Posts: 3612 | Registered: Aug 2011 | From: Happyville
IrishLass518
♀ Member
Member # 34373
Default  Posted: 10:03 PM, December 24th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I feel ya on this one. IrishLad is very unsure about if it is okay to talk about his Dad to me due to Dad's over the top anger if IrishLad brings me into a conversation. I have noticed that he is a little more comfortable because he knows that he can talk to me. I want him to have good times and memories with his dad. I just can't make them for him.


Me: 46 BS Divorced
Him: 45 Married OW
DDay: 07/04/2008
Divorced: 06/15/2011
5 kids: IrishLass 27,IrishLad 25, IrishLass 23, IrishLad 21 and IrishLad 12
"You can't run from trouble..there ain't no place that far"

Posts: 1777 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: WA
Gemini71
♀ Member
Member # 40115
Default  Posted: 10:03 PM, December 24th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That really sucks. What do you want to bet that the Dooosh was standing right there listening in? My kids are a little older, to I text them. They know I'm thinking of them, and they can reply whenever they have the privacy to do so. As your DS gets older, he'll really resent the Dooosh's restrictions.


Edited to correct stupid typos.

Two steps forward and one step backwards, is still progress.


Posts: 1854 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Illinois, USA
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 10:06 PM, December 24th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((PR)))) I haven't reached indifference toward the Dooosh, so I'll hate his broken ass for you. Jackass.


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 25667 | Registered: Aug 2011
Chrysalis123
♀ Member
Member # 27148
Default  Posted: 11:44 PM, December 24th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I hate him too.


Donít get to the end of your life and find that you lived only the length of it; live the width of it as well.†

Posts: 2700 | Registered: Jan 2010
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 11:49 PM, December 24th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Clearly he's inhibited because of his father. That's just so wrong. I'm sorry. You deserved to have a nice phone call with him on Christmas Eve.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9810 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
caregiver9000
♀ Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 1:13 AM, December 25th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Christmas hugs)))

You are such a sweet mommy. I am sorry.


Me: 44, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5859 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
Topic Posts: 7

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