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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: How long do you wait?
♂ Member
Member # 33212
Default  Posted: 12:14 PM, December 24th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm going to start doing those things again. I've lost touch with "that guy".

Well there is your New Years Resolution!

Enjoy finding yourself.

I look forward to hearing about the new Reality Stinks Version 2.0!


Posts: 899 | Registered: Aug 2011 | From: New York
♀ Member
Member # 41143
Default  Posted: 5:02 PM, December 24th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

About the bad guy thing, shortly after Dday #2, I met with WS's IC who was also our MC six years ago. He warned me, be prepared to be painted as the b*tch. And he was right. I guess that's just what waywards do. So let that part roll off your back. The people who know you, will know the truth. The people who believe her are not going to be in your life anyway.

Enjoy your holiday season and may we all find greater healing and blessings in the New Year!

Me: 40's; XBS Him: 40's; XWS/NPD/SA
D-day 1: 5/2007- A #1; 7/2007 A #1 continued-R
D-day 2: 3/2013 A #2/multi-ONSs; 4/2013 A #2 continues to present
D: 7/2013 (25 yrs together; days shy of 22nd anniversary-GOAL MET!)
Our kids: teen & tween

Posts: 168 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: Southern US
♀ Member
Member # 41181
Default  Posted: 12:47 AM, December 25th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm with you in the STBX is a narcissist. It sucks being married to someone that drains the life right out of you. When I asked him to leave and he left I felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders. I enabled him for so long that I was literally carrying his crap around.

It will be amazing when you get YOU back! I know it will for me!

Boss A** B*tch
BS/52 Me, STBXpos/56, dd's 16&14
1st D-day 10/19/2013 EA/PA
2nd D-day 12/7/2013 LTA/Rendezvous
S 12/7/2013 No-fault state, 6 mo S, counting down the days.

Posts: 1271 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: DE
♂ Member
Member # 41150
Default  Posted: 5:46 AM, December 25th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow. Our situations are nearly identical, except for the ages. Same tome together, same length of marriage, same attitude on the part of the wife.
I also don't think her parents ever cheated. But mine is also painting me as the bad guy to anyone who will listen.

Thanks for taking the time to tell your story of dealing with a completely unremorseful spouse. Often it seems that everyone at SI is in R, or their spouse is begging for another chance. Sorry you are in this situation, but it is good to not feel like the only guy who is dealing with a wife who considers him too worthless to feel any shame or remorse over cheating and walking out on.

Best of luck to you.

Follow your BRAIN.
Your HEART is stupid as shit.

Posts: 294 | Registered: Oct 2013
♂ Member
Member # 41457
Default  Posted: 5:33 PM, December 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Best of luck to you too justjim.

I've CAUGHT my WW in several lies, and I've got GPS of her at his house/rental/house boat. Plus, an Inn confirmed he was registered there the same day I have GPS showing her there. But, she "didn't have an affair". Whatever.

The unremorsefulness makes all this a little more unbearable. It would be easier if she had died. That way, she wouldn't have made the choice to leave.

I made the mistake of answering the phone today when she called (first time in two weeks). All of this is still "my fault" because I told some people about her "talking to another man too much, and she refuses to stop". I did it at her birthday party after finding out (purely by chance) that she had been to dinner with the man after she swore to me she wasn't talking to him anymore. I'll admit that I was angry when I told people. But, no A, and I wouldn't have had anything to talk about.

Anyway, today she informed me that "I knew the consequences if I told anyone and that I did it anyway" and that "no one could say they love someone and treat them so badly". Nevermind that she's running around telling people that I kicked her out of the house because she "talked to another guy a little too much, and BH is jealous". The hypocrisy of some people knows no bounds.

She also informed me that she accepted a new job a few days ago (never asked me about it). The kicker is: he's on the board of directors for the organization. In all fairness, his term expires at the end of this year and she starts on January 2. It's not like he'll just disappear though. But, it still feels like another slap in the face.

I've had about all I can take. I'm too young to live like this.

Posts: 414 | Registered: Nov 2013
♀ Member
Member # 40306
Default  Posted: 9:12 PM, December 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm still knee-deep in this with no R, no S, and no D in sight,(which is ok because I'm still hoping to R!) so I can't speak from personal experience. However, my mil waited for two years, and one day, fil came home and said they were going to make it work. It did.

Me: BS 44; Him: WH 47 aka CAT- colossal asshat; Married 22 years
D-day: July 17, 2013, with TT to follow
D filed July 16, 2014, 363 days later than I should have
Psalms 27:14
Wait for The Lord; be strong and take heart. Wait for the Lord.

Posts: 1838 | Registered: Aug 2013
Topic Posts: 26
Pages: 1 · 2

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