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User Topic: Is it wrong to want my WH to cry?
♀ Member
Member # 39667
Default  Posted: 4:41 PM, December 18th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

People show emotion in different ways. I have only seen my husband cry once and that was over money. He has said that he cried over this in the presence of his psychiatrist.

ETA (sorry distracted by arguing kids!). I know what you mean, though. I felt like this especially in the early days after DD. He seemed to be more protective of the AP, his reputation, etc. than my feelings. He did not appear to be remorseful…at all. Only sad that he was caught. And his AP was even worse…I have never spoken to her but SAWH said when he told her he confessed, she said "Why did you tell her?" She was concerned only about her reputation than anything else. Not concerned at all about my husband's feelings or my husband dealing with the turmoil in his family/marriage. They are so far in the fog that they can't demonstrate appropriate levels of emotion. But obviously, a person in touch with their own feelings and honest about it would not be having an affair in the first place.

[This message edited by womaninflux at 4:49 PM, December 18th (Wednesday)]

BS - mid-40's
SAWH - mid 40's
Kids - 2 elementary school aged
Getting tons of therapy and trying to "work it out"

Posts: 910 | Registered: Jun 2013
♂ Member
Member # 38157
Default  Posted: 5:17 PM, December 18th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't thinks it's wrong. My WW cried a lot right after d-day and once or twice she has apologized to me out of the blue, which really means more than I could ever explain.

For the record, when I found out I had something I called a "crygasm" I was curled up in a ball and cried harder than I've ever cried before. I lost complete control of my body and shook and shook for almost 10 minutes.

D-Day 1: 22 Dec 2012
D-Day 2: 22 July 2014
Me: 40's WW: 40's Together 15 years
1st OM: ex-"Best Friend" of 30+ years
2nd OM: Local Realtek and serial cheater on his pregnant wife.

Posts: 224 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Toronto
♂ Member
Member # 15902
Default  Posted: 8:32 PM, December 18th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I wonder if it is just not possible or if it is a sign that he isn't getting it or is not remorseful.

Depends on your WH. Some men will never cry in front of someone else. Never!

If you want to understand what he is feeling, watch his actions. Words and tears can mean very little. Actions speak volumes.

Me: BH, Her: FWW - Long Term EA/PA
d-day: June 25, 2007
Married 30 years, Reconciled

Inner peace begins the moment you choose not to allow another person or event to control your emotions.

Posts: 5695 | Registered: Aug 2007
Topic Posts: 23
Pages: 1 · 2

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