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User Topic: Being in need...
karmahappens
♀ Member
Member # 35846
Default  Posted: 6:20 AM, December 18th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don’t know if I believe in fate.

But I do believe sometimes things are set into motion for a reason.

A Pastor I know contacted me a while ago. I had been in touch with him about helping a family in need for Christmas.

He had a family for me.

A grandmother who has custody of her four grandchildren. She needed everything from soup to nuts.

He gave me her phone number and asked me to call her if I could do anything at all.

I hung up the phone and thought about it, four kids, food, Christmas items, gifts for that many, winter coats, boots hats and mittens for all. I thought maybe I had bitten off more than I could chew. I wondered if I should call him back, take a smaller family. I didn’t want to not be able to provide what they needed and possibly have disappointed kids on my mind.

I finally decided to call her. I think I was meant to.

She answered the phone and when I told her who I was she began to cry, for what seemed an eternity.

“How can I help?” was all I had to say and the story came tumbling out. Her daughter had a psychotic episode after learning her husband was having an affair. She chased him around the house with a knife, in front of the kids. She was arrested, he left with the OW and the kids’ mom, the BS was arrested . She lost custody of the children and the grandmother stepped in.

I listened, heard and shared her pain as she went on for almost an hour.

When she was done emptying her heart she was able to let me know what the kids need.

I made a list, told her to relax and enjoy the kids. We would take care of her.

I hung up the phone and cried. It could have been anyone of us. We all have “lost our minds” at different times, the shock, the hurt, humiliation.

I will finish the shopping tonight and meet up with her the end of the week to exchange the things we have bought.

I just want to hug her, I want to hold her daughter and let her know she will be ok, she will hurt, like never before, but she will be ok,

And so will we. It takes time, lots of work and sometimes a little fate…..

But find your hope and hang on, someone will be by to help, even if you don’t see them. People step into our lives for a reason and I believe we all need help at one time or another.

It is a difficult time for many of us.

Reach out if you need help, there is probably someone waiting for the call. And if you no longer need the help, reach out to someone who may. You never know who you will touch.

Wishing everyone peace.

[This message edited by karmahappens at 6:45 AM, December 18th (Wednesday)]


“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”
Anaïs Nin
Me: 45
Him: 47
Dday 8/2007
We have R'd

Posts: 3793 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: Massachusetts
AFrayedKnot
♂ Member
Member # 36622
Default  Posted: 6:41 AM, December 18th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thats beautiful Karma!!!
I'm sitting here tearing up with a giant smile on my face. I have seen way too many coincidences in my life to continue to question them. Thank you so much for sharing.


BS 39
fWS 36 (SurprisinglyOkay)
DD DS
A whole bunch of shit that got a lot worse before it got better.
"Knowing is half the battle"

Posts: 2560 | Registered: Aug 2012
karmahappens
♀ Member
Member # 35846
Default  Posted: 7:05 AM, December 18th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm sitting here tearing up with a giant smile on my face.

Me too Chicho. I just keep thinking about the kids opening all their gifts and the smiles on their faces.

I worry about their mom, but I cannot do anything there. I intend on leaving the communication open with the grandmother, in case she needs anything down the road...maybe even a shoulder.

I was talking to a friend about doing for others with no expectations in return, it's an amazing gift and I am lucky I was able to be involved with this family.

I hugged my husband extra tight that night, knowing how blessed we really are.

Thank you

[This message edited by karmahappens at 7:05 AM, December 18th (Wednesday)]


“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”
Anaïs Nin
Me: 45
Him: 47
Dday 8/2007
We have R'd

Posts: 3793 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: Massachusetts
sisoon
♂ Member
Member # 31240
Default  Posted: 7:34 AM, December 18th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm glad you could give the special help that comes with almost having been there. At the same time,

[This message edited by sisoon at 7:34 AM, December 18th (Wednesday)]


fBH (me) - 70 (22 in my head), fWW (plainsong) - 65+, Married 45+, together since 1965
DDay - 12/2010
Recovered, not yet fully R'ed
I share my own experience because it's the only experience I know, not because I'm a good model.

Posts: 9991 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Chicago area
Chrysalis123
♀ Member
Member # 27148
Default  Posted: 7:54 AM, December 18th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thats beautiful Karma!!!
I'm sitting here tearing up with a giant smile on my face. I have seen way too many coincidences in my life to continue to question them. Thank you so much for sharing.


Don’t get to the end of your life and find that you lived only the length of it; live the width of it as well. 

Posts: 2654 | Registered: Jan 2010
IrishLass518
♀ Member
Member # 34373
Default  Posted: 8:07 AM, December 18th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What a gift to have come so far in your own journey that now you are able to reach out and help a family just beginning their own way down this difficult road. Congrats Karma, for paying it forward.


Me: 46 BS Divorced
Him: 45 Married OW
DDay: 07/04/2008
Divorced: 06/15/2011
5 kids: IrishLass 27,IrishLad 25, IrishLass 23, IrishLad 21 and IrishLad 12
"You can't run from trouble..there ain't no place that far"

Posts: 1729 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: WA
WeepingBuddhist
♀ Member
Member # 39139
Default  Posted: 8:20 AM, December 18th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This is really wonderful. Thank you for sharing!


Me: BS 46
Him: unimportant
D Day:4-27-13
DIVORCED!!! 2-20-14

Posts: 560 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Columbus
musiclovingmom
♀ Member
Member # 38207
Default  Posted: 9:05 AM, December 18th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I love this story. Our Bible Study class always helps at least two families in need at Christmas. The simple requests from people is always so humbling. Crying with you here.

Posts: 1057 | Registered: Jan 2013
sodamnlost
♀ Member
Member # 37190
Default  Posted: 10:29 AM, December 18th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What a sad but touching story. Maybe you could write the mom and ask grandma to give it to her? A nice letter offering support, love, understanding and prayer? I can imagine any of us can put ourselves in this moms shoes. That could have been me for sure.


If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck - it's not a fluffy pink unicorn squirting liquid rainbows, complete with pots of gold out of it's ass.

Posts: 766 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: Nowhere pretty
Razor
♂ Member
Member # 16345
Default  Posted: 11:16 AM, December 18th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you for sharing that Karma.

Karma - I was going to send you a PM about this. But your in box is full.

[This message edited by Razor at 11:18 AM, December 18th (Wednesday)]


Forgive and forget = Relive and regret.


Posts: 3432 | Registered: Sep 2007
gonnabe2016
♀ Member
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 11:19 AM, December 18th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks for sharing, Karma.
And thanks for paying it forward.....


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.


Posts: 7944 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
Kajem
♀ Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 11:22 AM, December 18th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5017 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
DixieD
♀ Member
Member # 33457
Default  Posted: 11:24 AM, December 18th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That's so sad and scary. I know I lost it, not quite to that extent, but I still did.

It's wonderful that you are helping that family Karma.


Growing forward

Posts: 1767 | Registered: Sep 2011
karmahappens
♀ Member
Member # 35846
Default  Posted: 11:38 AM, December 18th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Maybe you could write the mom and ask grandma to give it to her

Perfect, sodamnlost, I will. Thanks for the idea!

And thanks everyone, I know there is a reason for this. I hope she finds her way and the kids don't suffer. Ugh, sometimes the holidays are just a big rip-off


“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”
Anaïs Nin
Me: 45
Him: 47
Dday 8/2007
We have R'd

Posts: 3793 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: Massachusetts
BeautifulEmpty
♀ Member
Member # 38763
Default  Posted: 5:12 PM, December 18th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This is wonderful...I feel so awful for the mom. I think writing her is a good idea as she must feel so alone and broken.
I'm so glad you called the grandma.


Me: 42 BS
Him: 38 ws
Ow: 44 head case, no obs
5 DD's: 21, 18, 17, 15, 10
Last D-day: August 2012 with lots of very blurry lines.

Posts: 254 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: Washington State
RealityStinks
♂ Member
Member # 41457
Default  Posted: 5:18 PM, December 18th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

No doubt about it - people being placed in our lives. We hired an intern at work back in May. He's been a Godsend for me. I don't know if I could have made it without him around.

Posts: 414 | Registered: Nov 2013
StillLivin
♀ Member
Member # 40229
Default  Posted: 5:24 PM, December 18th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bless you for being so compassionate and bless you again for sharing.
Uhggg, put a disclaimer in next time, though, so I don't start balling at work!


I don't need further confirmation of what a fuckwit he is. I already have plenty, thanks very much. -SBB
D: 7/2/2014

Posts: 2214 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: AZ
authenticnow
♀ Moderator
Member # 16024
Default  Posted: 6:24 PM, December 18th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you for sharing that, Karma.

You are a kindhearted, beautiful person.


Take up your space (and do it well).

"That's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt."


Posts: 37386 | Registered: Sep 2007
yestopants
♀ Member
Member # 41631
Default  Posted: 6:33 PM, December 18th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you for sharing….My heart goes out to her family. I needed a lot of help this past month. I have received kindness I never knew was possible for me. I am so thankful to have the kindness of others it has reminded me that people are really good.


Me: 35
STBXWH: 38
2 amazing kids DS DD
almost Divorced!

Posts: 278 | Registered: Dec 2013
karmahappens
♀ Member
Member # 35846
Default  Posted: 5:54 AM, December 19th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't think I am doing anything anyone of us wouldn't do in the same situation.

I just think it's strange how this family fell in my lap.

Originally the pastor told me he had a young 21 yo mom with a 4 yo daughter that needed help.

The next thing I know, it's the grandmother and 4 kids. When I first talked to her she said she called every agency she could think of for help...and I was the only one that returned her call.

I just think it was supposed to be.... and it gives me goosebumps.

and makes me go hmmmmmm

Thank you for the support everyone.


“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”
Anaïs Nin
Me: 45
Him: 47
Dday 8/2007
We have R'd

Posts: 3793 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: Massachusetts
Topic Posts: 20

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