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User Topic: If You Could Pick Your Karma?
♀ Member
Member # 41010
Default  Posted: 6:47 AM, December 16th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes, I agree with and aspire to have IrishLass518's outlook. I don't believe I wish much for AP as I do believe if it hasn't been her it may have been anyone else because it is my WH's brokenness that sought this out in the first place.

What I really hope is that my WH doesn't ever have to look back and regret any of his bad and selfish choices (but I know this most certainly will happen). I also hope he doesn't have to follow in my FIL footsteps and spend the last of his days as a miserable, guilt ridden, lonely old man. Don't know if this is actually anything to do with Karma. ....

Me: BS Married 10 years, together 20
Him:WH - EA with engaged COW.

'If you come into my life, the door is open; If you leave my life, the door is open; Just one request, don't stand in the doorway, you're blocking the traffic'

Posts: 122 | Registered: Oct 2013
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Member # 34373
Default  Posted: 7:23 AM, December 16th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just to clarify folks, this is the karma I choose for me, my children and xWH. I am not nearly so gracious regarding OWifetress. The karma I would choose for her cannot be printed due to legal ramifications and cause I wouldn't want to incriminate myself should anything ever happen. hahaha

I don't want you all to be thinking that I am some forgiveness guru. I am still just a girl and a betrayed one at that.

Me: 46 BS Divorced
Him: 45 Married OW
DDay: 07/04/2008
Divorced: 06/15/2011
5 kids: IrishLass 27,IrishLad 25, IrishLass 23, IrishLad 21 and IrishLad 12
"You can't run from trouble..there ain't no place that far"

Posts: 1777 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: WA
♂ Member
Member # 33574
Default  Posted: 7:32 AM, December 16th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I needed to see this today. Maybe its the season, but I've been thinking lately of the unfairness of it all. My exww seems to have thrown a hand grenade into my life and then ridden off into the sunset to get just what she wanted - and I was left to deal with the shattered remains of a life that I thought was real. If I could choose my Karma for her, it would be to for loserboss to cheat on her and treat her with the same contempt with which she treated me. Maybe then she could understand a bit of what I experienced. But that would require her to have feelings and empathy - and she has none.

Posts: 236 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Central Pennsylvania
♀ Member
Member # 24719
Default  Posted: 8:08 AM, December 16th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

FWH EAP just got married. I hope he does to her, what she and FHW did to me. But it wouldn't teach her anything. She still thinks that going after my FWH was the right thing to do.

Me- 40- BS Him- 36- WH D-day#1 5/25/09 3 mo. EA d-day#2 11/06/13 Prostitute 11/5/13 in R
"I've seen your flag on the marble arch, our love is not a victory march, it's a cold and broken hallelujah."- Leonard Cohen

Posts: 2286 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Midwest
♀ Member
Member # 27148
Default  Posted: 8:22 AM, December 16th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

First, I pray he will heal so my kids can see and feel what an emotionally healthy father is like.

After that, I wish that what he did to me, all of it,is done to him.

[This message edited by Chrysalis123 at 6:24 PM, December 16th (Monday)]

Donít get to the end of your life and find that you lived only the length of it; live the width of it as well.†

Posts: 2702 | Registered: Jan 2010
♂ Member
Member # 41157
Default  Posted: 8:30 AM, December 16th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If karma equals justice, then WW's heart should be shattered the exceptionally cruel way she did mine. She should go through the mental and emotional agony she caused for me. She should feel the uncertainty the kids now know. She should feel the emptiness in her soul, physical distress from the infidelity diet. She should feel the deepest betrayal from the one she trusted the most.

She won't.

If the WS/BS situation were reversed for us, she would be overflowing with righteous indignation, it would never end for me. She loves being the victim for attention.

Justice would be divorcing her and letting her be with her AP. Except, he went back to his wife, so where does that leave my WW?

I try my best to stay on the high road, I know it is the right thing to do for me. I don't think about acting in revenge, I need to show my kids a better example.

But, occasionally, karma thoughts enter my mind.

There are days...

Posts: 205 | Registered: Oct 2013
♂ Member
Member # 37898
Default  Posted: 8:33 AM, December 16th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I wish that OM would do to XWW exactly what she did to me. Cheat on her for 6 months, then abandon her and move in with OW while he divorced her, while lying to everyone about it, then marry the OW on XWW's birthday, and cut contact with her. XWW is terrified of being alone and this would scare the shit out of her. It would also hopefully help her understand the living hell I was forced to endure.
Although I believe no one should ever endure infidelity, I believe that it is the only way XWW would ever "get it."

This, to a tee. It's all I ask.

Divorced April Fool's Day 2014

Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.

Posts: 1625 | Registered: Dec 2012
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Member # 38923
Default  Posted: 8:45 AM, December 16th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It would have to be something that CSTBXWW could directly attribute to consequences of her actions. Being hit by a metaphorical bus or ending up skint and homeless wouldn't be satisfying becuase that is simply an 'accident'.

It has to be emotional pain on the same level as what she has done to me and our beautiful children. She needs to be betrayed by the person whom she trusted implicitly and then he needs to absocond with her bastard child so she has no-one. She needs to be devastated as to how this person could treat her so badly. And if he gave her a nasty sexually transmitted disease for good measure, then that would be the icing.

Me 40
WW 38
Together 19 years
Married for 9
DS(1) 9
DS(2) 7
Dday 10th Feb 2013
She moved in with POS and took kids 23rd Mar 2013. WW now has new baby
Divorced April 2014

Posts: 717 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: UK
♀ Member
Member # 23890
Default  Posted: 8:57 AM, December 16th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think the consequences will have to suffice.

Right now he is alone, lonely, living on a boat in NE (brrr) and has no relationship with his kids. The holidays are here and I'm getting emails again, sad, mournful emails about how unhappy he is. He seems to temporarily forgotten that the Holidays never meant anything to him, that they are simply devised as a "ploy by retailers" to get rich... Sounds like Karma right?

But give it a week and he'll forget all that and be madly in love with some new girl - this he will interpret as a "sign" that all his suffering was leading up to meeting "her". Lather, rinse, repeat.

"We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us." Joseph Campbell...So, If fear was not a factor - what would you do?

Posts: 4129 | Registered: May 2009 | From: New England
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Member # 35593
Default  Posted: 9:10 AM, December 16th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

For my H, whenever he looks at or thinks of another woman, his huge, rock hard, best dick ever (according to OW) would painfully and spasmodically shrink up to the size of my little finger and stay that way until he comes home to me.

For OW, I hope she falls in love only to have the guy leave her at the altar with the worst case of chronic onset herpes from her belly button up to her vestigial tail. Of course she would be allergic to every known med. She would then find out she has early onset menopause and her magical wet vajajay would dry up to dust.

For me, after enduring this mess, I would have the most wonderful nights of sleep and rest. I would never, ever be unhappy again. My boobs would magically lift up off my belly, my abs would reappear, and my face would look 25 again.

Me 52
WH 52
Married 30+ years
Together trying to R

I tell people I am tired but really my heart is broken and I am sad.

Posts: 1526 | Registered: May 2012 | From: Southern, bless your heart
♂ Member
Member # 38122
Default  Posted: 9:13 AM, December 16th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So I'll bet that most of us BS's would not wish for something terrible..just a little justice.

Sorry to disappoint. I'm still wishing for something terrible to happen to her.

... but it doesn't really matter, because the woman has no empathy: No amount of suffering she goes through can make her understand the pain she inflicted.

Loyal spouse: Me; Disloyal spouse: The Princess
Two sons: Now 11 and 14
DDay: Nov 15, 2012
Separated: Mar 2, 2013 after 17 year marriage, now divorcing!

The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous

Posts: 2080 | Registered: Jan 2013
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Member # 40229
Default  Posted: 12:12 PM, December 16th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He is getting his Karma several times.
He is stuck with Shrek, she is stupid (boy is she stupid), she is ugly, she is lazy, she is needy, she is unable to attain employment, she is petty and not a good person at all, and she is ungrateful. Right now, he is just starting to get an inkling.
His oldest son had a conversation with him last week. He told his father that he was ashamed of him and what he did to his stepmother was dirty. He told him he could never follow his advice again.
This more than anything else hurts him. He has always tried to be a good father and he tried his best to set a good example.
His parents have told him they are ashamed of him. He has been told he cannot take her to their home.
Hmmmm, if I wanted more, it would be to have him hurt from her the way he caused me hurt.
I'm almost sorry for some of the stuff he is enduring, but that's only because my DSSs deserved a better role model and he hurt them so bad.
Now as for the OW, I really wanted some bad thinigs to happen to her, but now, not so much. If she gets hers, meh, if she doesn't, meh. I don't think about her as much anymore.
Of course, if she steps foot on my property, she might still get her ass whooped. But if she keeps her distance, I don't really think about her. Her karma, she is with him, and he treats her MUCH worse than he ever treated me.

I don't need further confirmation of what a fuckwit he is. I already have plenty, thanks very much. -SBB
D: 7/2/2014

Posts: 2325 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: AZ
solus sto
♀ Member
Member # 30989
Default  Posted: 1:26 PM, December 16th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am not a believer in karma. I have seen some really horrible people skate through life utterly unscathed (and no, the fact that they were unloved and horrible was not their karma; they didn't care). And I have seen some really wonderful people truly tested by life.

If I were to choose my karma, it would just be feeling safe and secure. Not having financial stuff to worry about. Having happy and healthy kids. In a few years, a passel of grandkids. Healthy and happy ones. Maybe a nice man to share my life with--but if not, good friends and happy family will be just fine.

At the moment, I am watching from afar as Mr. Trac-Fone circles the drain. It's not the kind of karma I wanted. I don't want it for him, and I don't want it for my kids. But I think it quite likely he will die quite soon--and the kids share my concern.

BS-me, 52
WH (Trac-fone), 53, PD
2 kids-DD25, DS18
multiple d-days
Alone, most strangely, I live on~Rupert Brooke

Posts: 8830 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: midwest
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Member # 41679
Default  Posted: 2:08 PM, December 16th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Karma happens.

I asked for it after DDay for both WW and OM. I didnít want to punish her, but I had hoped the universe did. Iíd still jump at the chance to punish him.

I wish I could take back my wish for her but it already came. The months of her most recent affair and the brutal early stages of reconciliation have taken just as many years off her life as mine (maybe even more). Itís aged her visibly. I still find her beautiful but sheís not blind and sees the changes in the mirror. And, in the quiet moments with herself, she will forever look back at this mistake with contempt at herself. Thatís enough karmaÖtoo much.

For OM. Heís already divorced twice and lives in a broken down POS house like a slob. He may be a doctor, but heís gambled himself into debt and his son has nothing but disrespect for him. How much deeper can karma push him into his self-dug hole of shame? At the very least, I hope that the bout of erectile dysfunction he experienced on his one and only sexual encounter with my wife becomes a permanent malady. An untreatable permanent malady. Iíd be upset if he got drunk and drove into a telephone pole. My wish is for karma to give him a lasting, unquenchable embarrassment. Sort of like what I got out of the deal.

BH, 35, CoD, Military...sober since 6/17/14
FWW, EA/PA (x2) different OM coworkers
Reconciling since 8/1/13
100% ready to file at next dealbreaker...don't test me.

Posts: 209 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: NoVA
Exit Wounds
♀ Member
Member # 32811
Default  Posted: 2:03 PM, December 18th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I want him to feel every ounce of pain he caused our two little children. I will never forget my son crying in my arms saying "I miss having a dad." Those words are etched into my heart forever. My daughter said:"My daddy is GONE! He might as well be dead. All my friends have dads, where is mine at?!"

Yeah, POS is "busy" and can't visit.

I am not worried about my pain, but I DO want him to feel the pain he caused them. It is unacceptable! They did nothing wrong! He should have kept a relationship with them...

[This message edited by Exit Wounds at 2:03 PM, December 18th (Wednesday)]

Posts: 2486 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: With my dad...and my dog...
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Member # 40699
Default  Posted: 2:12 PM, December 18th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I would want him to go through exactly what I am going through. Oh wait, he did in his last marriage....I guess it didn't really make as big of an impact as he claimed since on D-day he told me it was "nothing" and he didn't realize it would hurt me so much.

Me BS 31
Him WS 34 Trying4change
Together 3 years, married for one
D-day: 07/23/13 cybersex with COW
D-day: 12/27/13 found out he met and kissed a "friend" in 2011
"A clear and innocent conscience fears nothing."

Posts: 935 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Oklahoma
♀ Member
Member # 39803
Default  Posted: 2:21 PM, December 18th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Honestly, I'd like to heal myself of thinking about the affair except as necessary to heal; I'd like my H (WS) to become as fully healthy and happy as possible in his own right and in our relationship, and I'd like to not care what happens to OW.

me - BS (40s)
DDay - June 2013, A was 2+ months, EA then PA
In MC & Reconciling
An affair is a personal crisis, not a relationship.

I edit, therefore I am.

Posts: 2056 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: USA
♀ Member
Member # 30905
Default  Posted: 2:36 PM, December 18th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I would like for the whole church to find out what OW2 did to my h in the church parking lot. I would like OW1s husband to find out who she really is and throw her out in the street without her green card. I would be divorced and dating a wealthy professional man (I don't care to date anyone, but H would really hate that)while living in my nice condo and collecting spousal support. Wait, I think I really make all that happen!

Posts: 234 | Registered: Jan 2011
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Member # 30905
Default  Posted: 2:44 PM, December 18th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I thought of a good one. OW gets so pissed when he doesn't leave me like he said he would, she does a lorena Bobbit.

Posts: 234 | Registered: Jan 2011
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Member # 38763
Default  Posted: 4:52 PM, December 18th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

For most of the OW that have walked through our lives, I'd wish nothing on them as they all got scathed in one way or another and it was complicated in several ways.
The second to last was completely in the wrong and yet, I don't harbor any need for the karma bus. I told her off and she disappeared. Even from Facebook. I have no idea to where but I think she felt some shame. I also know that she was under the impression that my H and I were over.
The last OW?
She can rot from the inside out as far as I'm concerned.
She already lives a disgusting life so I don't really think much about making it any worse but the part I'd change if I could would be that all her "friends" (those she hasn't fucked over, it's just a matter of time) would know that she's a liar. Like, every time her mouth opens, a thought bubble pops up over her head with the actual truth.
At some point, she will run into the wife who isn't as calm a person as I am and that wife will cure the rest of us (I can only assume I'm not the only one).
Until then, I wait for it to all be so far in the past that it's a blip in time.
As for my H...well, he got hit somewhat by the bus in this last affair because ow was a nutjob. I wish he could feel my pain at various intervals. I wish he could feel the hopeless damage I'm left with after all these years.
Other than that, I hope he will be healthy and strong for both me and our children.

Me: 42 BS
Him: 38 ws
Ow: 44 head case, no obs
5 DD's: 21, 18, 17, 15, 10
Last D-day: August 2012 with lots of very blurry lines.

Posts: 264 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: Washington State
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