Nowhere left to go but up!
Lean into the feelings today. Know that they will ebb again, and treat yourself gently until they do. And when they do pass, pick yourself up and get back on that NC horse.
I understand - we ALL understand - that hope that they will "get it." Letting go of that hope hurts. A lot. ((((more hugs)))
You will come through this part, sweetie. I promise. And when you get to the other side of this, something wonderful happen. A new hope emerges - a hope that you grow and nurture for your life, your future. As hard as it may be to believe that when you are hurting today, there is hope and light ahead.
Hang in there. We've got you.
"Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in." -Cohen
But, it will get better. You will have to help yourself a little bit, but it will get better. Get to your doctor for some help with ADs, sleeping aids, etc. make sure you are eating something every day. And drink water even when you are not feeling thirsty- all that crying really dehydrates you.
Also, find someone IRL to talk to, visit with, cry to. You must allow yourself the time to grieve, but don't forget that you will survive this.
don't forget that you will survive this
This ^^^ is very true.
NF, we have all experienced that despair that nothing will ever be bearable again.
Big hugs. It gets better, but there is no way out but through.
I feel like I am right back to square one. I can't stop crying at all. I feel like I'm going to die. Wish I would,
I have so been there with you and still am at times.
that he would give me at least some glimmer of hope
You deserve to be treated with respect and faithfullness and that it would be better to be alone than be with a cheater.
Get angry. He hurt you. Don't let him steal anymore of your life.
Your need to get where you can say F.T.G and mean it to your core.
[This message edited by shiloe at 12:13 PM, December 15th (Sunday)]
The death throes of hope and acceptance was by far the most painful part of this journey for me. That it was a false hope didn't make its death any less agonising.
We all break NC and we all feel like we're back at square one. You won't realise it now because you're hurt and bleeding on the floor but his total lack or remorse is what will give you the resolve to say "Fuck.That.Guy." and mean it.
I now see it as a gift, the kindest thing he did to me in 5+ years. It set me free before I had the strength or courage to free myself.
But that is for later - right now I now right where you are and I know nothing can soothe you right now. Please know you won't feel this way forever. I didn't believe it either, yet here I am.