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Newest Member: ReasonableDoubt (44577)

Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: 2 smart things I've done this wk
♀ New Member
Member # 41197
Default  Posted: 3:30 PM, December 14th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My D-day was only 7 wks ago, but I already feel I've started to very slowly move toward my own personal healing.

After a mighty struggle, my WH moved out one week ago with the terms of our separation in his hand which I established. I finally can breathe again in my own house! I still have my emotional roller coaster moments least fleeting moments of inner peace are visible. Even my kids who are little said "mom, you're much better since dad left".

Second big accomplishment of the week is MC. I know many people here say you should hold off on MC until IC is well under way. IC is progressing for both of us but we felt MC provided a safe zone to communicate even if R is the furthest thing from MY mind. In MC, I am realizing just how mentally ill my WH is; there are so many loose screws in his psyche that it actually allows me to detach myself emotionally from the nightmare I am living and say "geez, this guy is SO not well".

If only for brief moments, I feel ok, then that's progress, right?

Me 40
WH 41
14 years married
3 Kids (6,9,12)
DD Oct.28 '13
PA: 6 years!!!

Posts: 39 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Europe
♀ Member
Member # 41608
Default  Posted: 4:27 PM, December 14th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That is HUGE progress! You sound so strong loli! I'm having a really weak day, but reading your post made me realize that there is hope and I will get there. You've got this!

Married 13 years
DD #1 03/12
DD #2 11/20/13
Status: Separated and planning D

Nowhere left to go but up!

Posts: 101 | Registered: Dec 2013
♂ Member
Member # 39885
Default  Posted: 8:23 PM, December 14th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Good job Lolita! Strength and peace to you.

Sorry you had a bad day NF. They get better. They have to

Divorced 7/11/14. New Beginning on the Gulf of Mexico. It's real nice.

Posts: 719 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: The beach.
♀ Member
Member # 41181
Default  Posted: 12:18 AM, December 15th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Stay strong Loli! Your D-day was 9 days after mine. I kicked him out .. no separation papers .. but he's GONE. Of course he's snuck back in at least 1x so far. I have an app't with a lawyer on Tues .. then I'll do the legal stuff to make it stick. He's not coming back. I opened my own checking and transferred 1/2 the money from our joint account a week ago. Keep doing the smart thing.

Boss A** B*tch
BS/52 Me, STBXpos/56, dd's 16&14
1st D-day 10/19/2013 EA/PA
2nd D-day 12/7/2013 LTA/Rendezvous
S 12/7/2013 No-fault state, 6 mo S, counting down the days.

Posts: 1271 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: DE
♂ Member
Member # 36857
Default  Posted: 5:36 AM, December 15th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If only for brief moments, I feel ok, then that's progress, right?

Exactly right. You've taken back some control, and you're doing great.

Note: I understand your sentiment about MC providing a window through which you can see your H perhaps more clearly. I experienced that also. You may have already gained as much benefit from those sessions as you can, though.

Me: BH 56.........Her: WW 43
DD: 6..........DS: 4
Married for six years.
DDay: 12-25-11 Divorced: 7-15-12
"It's like a nightmare within a nightmare, which in and of itself is a nightmare!"

Posts: 935 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: U.S.A.
Topic Posts: 5

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