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Newest Member: hurtmomma917 (44738)

Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Gifts for WS on behalf of small kids
Iamhappytoday
♀ Member
Member # 39051
Default  Posted: 10:25 PM, December 13th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So, STB(Not fast enough)ExH and I have an agreement to give gifts on behalf of the kids (nothing major), for bdays and Christmas until...whenever.

I told my mother that since his *cough* GF is living with him, ain't NO WAY I'm buying anything she can use. I'm either buying him hunting gear or something that will make them both fat. Bring on the candy cane chocolate bark! (hey, that's a very awesome gift for the two suddenly fit fanatics).

I think that's fair.

AND I got a claims email from the insurance company, as apparently he pulled out in front of someone and had a bit of a fender bender this evening.

I just can't facepalm enough times or I'll knock myself out.

And if anyone is wondering, the gift thing was something I thought about for awhile since my folks were like that, and it's something we agreed on, so please no judgement on that. I never said I was gonna buy him stuff they could both use... :-)

[This message edited by Iamhappytoday at 10:26 PM, December 13th (Friday)]


BW 39
WH 34
2DD's 15 months at start
Together 10 years, M 9
OW 22 CW, 2kids by 2 men & youngest less than 1 when affair started.
Dday 1 8/16/12 "just texting"
TT, gaslighting, denial; was always PA; he left me for her.

Posts: 132 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Free!!!
devistatedmom
♀ Member
Member # 24961
Default  Posted: 10:30 PM, December 13th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Take the kids to target or something and let them pick something from an area you approve of. They would be thrilled to give him something like a stuffed animal, or a shirt, or a plate. I would let them pick out something, not go whole hog with hunting equipment. It should mean something to them, that they are happy to give.


BS(me) 46, Two wonderful teens.
He is no longer my best friend. Repeat until it sticks.

WH says marriage is over: May 15, 2009.
EA#2 July 20, 2009. Legally sep: Aug 16, 2009. DIVORCED!!!! Signed Nov 23, final Dec 24, 2010, adultery listed.


Posts: 5429 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Canada
Iamhappytoday
♀ Member
Member # 39051
Default  Posted: 10:34 PM, December 13th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think that's a good idea, but they're two, so I may use your suggestion as inspiration, though, in combination with a regular gift.
Thank you!!!


BW 39
WH 34
2DD's 15 months at start
Together 10 years, M 9
OW 22 CW, 2kids by 2 men & youngest less than 1 when affair started.
Dday 1 8/16/12 "just texting"
TT, gaslighting, denial; was always PA; he left me for her.

Posts: 132 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Free!!!
ArkLaMiss
♀ Member
Member # 14918
Default  Posted: 11:03 PM, December 13th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Nah, don't spend money. Have them draw him something or do a handprint for him or something like that. No WAY should it be anything even close to being costly! Do an art project with them.


Just HOW stupid do you think I am, exactly?

Posts: 1178 | Registered: Jun 2007
ItHappened2Me2
♀ Member
Member # 32503
Default  Posted: 11:09 PM, December 13th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

http://www.bing.com/search?q=handprint+ornament&form=IE10TR&src=IE10TR&pc=ASU2JS

Help them make a handprint ornament -- very little cost to you and you get the benefit of spending quality time with the kids while making them. Heck, make a couple for yourself too!


BS - me (52); WS - him (52)
DD 15yo, DS 11 yo
Married 25 years (together 27+/-)
DDay #1 - March 18, 2011
DD #2 (after 3 + month TT and false R -- the affair had gone underground) - June 28,2011
DD3: June 19, 2013 - he started up again with the

Posts: 241 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: Texas
GabyBaby
♀ Member
Member # 26928
Default  Posted: 11:12 PM, December 13th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Keep in mind that liars lie.
You may have agreed that you will both buy gifts for each other "from the kids", but that doesn't mean he will actually follow through (especially with GF in the picture).

I'm with the previous posters. Have the kids make him something or buy an inexpensive trinket that they can present to their father. If you need a price range, I wouldn't spend more on XWH than I would for a trip to Starbucks.

[This message edited by GabyBaby at 11:44 PM, December 13th (Friday)]


Me - 40s
SorryInSac - WH#2 - 40s. DDay 7/12/14
Married 4, together 7yrs total
Status - R looks possible..

DD(21), DS(18, PDD-NOS)
6 Furkids

WXH (serial cheater, 12+ OW)
Legally married 18yrs, together 16.5yrs

I edit often for clarity.


Posts: 6380 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: California
momentintime
♀ Member
Member # 16394
Default  Posted: 12:10 AM, December 14th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Shoe laces, shoe polish, shaving cream, screwdriver set, you get the idea.


BS-me FWS - him
D-day 8/04
R'd

"Global editing disclaimer - I edit almost everything I post, and I am not going to post why every time."...re: Bionical girl


Posts: 2941 | Registered: Sep 2007 | From: New York
ruby44
♀ Member
Member # 41135
Default  Posted: 6:31 AM, December 14th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sorta in the same dilemma, but my girls are older. STBXH told me that I needed to tell the girls what I want because he was taking them shopping! So I need to reciprocate? I had some great ideas before all this happened but now.
Plus what I want was never a concern before.
So I will take them shopping and let them pick something out, but really how long is the ow gonna tolerate him spending money on me and how long do I want this charade to carry on.
I think my dds should ask him for an allowance. If they want to save their allowance money and shop for him I can do that.


Me BW 52, Him WH 48
Married 13 years,
2 DDs (12 and 10)
D-Day Confirmed 10/24/13 suspected before that but did not want to believe it.
WH filed for D 11/12/13
2/8/14 WH asked if he could come home.
Lies!

Posts: 276 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: Midwest
Gemini71
♀ Member
Member # 40115
Default  Posted: 6:37 AM, December 14th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

STBXH is getting a calendar. Kids' birthdays are pre-marked.


Edited to correct stupid typos.

Two steps forward and one step backwards, is still progress.


Posts: 1658 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Illinois, USA
PurpleBirch
♀ Member
Member # 39170
Default  Posted: 7:44 AM, December 14th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


STBXH is getting a calendar. Kids' birthdays are pre-marked.

Lol Gemini. Good idea!


Me: BS (32)
Him: WH (31)
Married 3 years.
Confessed to PA April 21 2013.

DS (6), DS (18 months)

Aug 30 2013 He gives me back his ring with an ultimatum: "Get over it or get out".

Status: Done like dinner


Posts: 277 | Registered: May 2013 | From: The frozen North, eh?
ruby44
♀ Member
Member # 41135
Default  Posted: 9:26 AM, December 14th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

would love to do that with all the court dates, mediation, anniversaries of date he met the whore, blew up our family etc!


Me BW 52, Him WH 48
Married 13 years,
2 DDs (12 and 10)
D-Day Confirmed 10/24/13 suspected before that but did not want to believe it.
WH filed for D 11/12/13
2/8/14 WH asked if he could come home.
Lies!

Posts: 276 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: Midwest
Must Survive
♀ Member
Member # 34533
Default  Posted: 9:40 AM, December 14th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think "they" should give him a calendar. One that is personalized, each month a different picture of you and the girls together doing something fun. Several places will make those for you.


Me BS
WS: Just a squished bug on the window of my life!
Divorcing, STBXH is engaged/living with OW#3

They have a choice: they can live in my new world, or they can die in their old one." — Daenerys Targaryen


Posts: 720 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Must Survive
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 9:48 AM, December 14th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I just can't facepalm enough times or I'll knock myself out.
This is SO going on the quote thread.


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 25063 | Registered: Aug 2011
ruinedandbroken
♀ Member
Member # 29250
Default  Posted: 10:02 AM, December 14th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I would have them make something or let them buy something little of their choosing (like less than $5) It should be the thought. I would not spend tons of money.


“People who cheat feel that life is for the taking, and that everyone deserves happiness no matter what the cost. I must remember these tricks if I ever have my soul surgically removed."
Me: BS 42. Him: WH 41 2 Kids 6&9
Married 14 yrs Together 21

Posts: 1572 | Registered: Aug 2010
Iamhappytoday
♀ Member
Member # 39051
Default  Posted: 2:09 PM, December 14th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I love all those gift ideas!

And to be quoted is fun, NIK!

Actually, my bday just passed and I got a pretty excellent gift, in addition to needing to play nice until mediation is final, so I'm not going to be a total bitch. I just want to ensure I give nothing (to borrow the term) his slunt can use, unless it's fattening and causes cavities.

I like the ornament idea and have some stuff to do that already, but I don't know if I feel like sharing!

I cried like a baby my birthday and on Thanksgiving because they were playing happy family together with my 2 year old twins and most of both those days I was alone until I was able to be with the kids. I know Christmas is going to be another tough day.

I am wishing all of you a very special holiday where you know you are loved, no matter how tough the circumstances, and that no one decides your worth through their shitty actions. You gave your best, a future of opportunity awaits you, so pat yourself on the back, and have a wonderful holiday. XOXO!


BW 39
WH 34
2DD's 15 months at start
Together 10 years, M 9
OW 22 CW, 2kids by 2 men & youngest less than 1 when affair started.
Dday 1 8/16/12 "just texting"
TT, gaslighting, denial; was always PA; he left me for her.

Posts: 132 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Free!!!
Bluebird26
♀ Member
Member # 36445
Default  Posted: 9:37 PM, December 14th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We made this arrangement too, I am still waiting on receiving any gifts. He always gets one from the kids though, it's for the kids not him.


"Loving someone should not mean losing you. Love empowers you. It shouldn't erase you. - Thelma Davis.

Posts: 1324 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Australia
PurpleRose
♀ Member
Member # 33129
Default  Posted: 9:44 PM, December 14th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh. HeLL nah.

I think in theory this sounds so lovely.. But in practice it's going to cause problems. If my kids asked me to take them shopping for a gift for their dad, of course I would do that. But I don't see that happening.


divorced the Dooosh
*****************************
even if you find your voice,
sometimes it does not matter anymore,
when you speak to a man who is deaf by choice.
~dodinsky

Posts: 3555 | Registered: Aug 2011 | From: Happyville
PhoenixRising88
♀ Member
Member # 35214
Default  Posted: 11:06 PM, December 14th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I just can't facepalm enough times or I'll knock myself out.

Well....that's one way to get a good night's sleep.... LOLOLOL


Me: BS (43)Him: EX, aka "The Dink"(50)
D-Day#1 12/22/11. D-Day#2 5/23/2013.

Divorce final 2/10/14.

Throw me to the wolves and I'll return leading the pack.


Posts: 426 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: North Texas
Topic Posts: 18

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