Stretch: Can you please have the boys looking presentable tomorrow, like have them wear nice clothes and not look so careless?
Me: crickets. (yes, let that non response, no answer for stupid questions, sit for a full beat.)
What I DID NOT SAY: What? You expect me to insist they wear Sunday clothes on Friday night so you can trot them out for your Baptist Deacon brother and his family? Like that will make your brother forget you abandoned your family for a whore... y'all can sit around and say stupid shit like "kids are resilient."
What? You think the kids have J. Crew clothes on a single mom with NO FUCKING support income? and if they did, as IF I would send those clothes to your house. Buy your own fucking "nice" kids' clothes. Fight your own battle over getting the boys to wear something other than basketball shorts. And... If it is so fucking important to you, YOU tell them. NOT. MY. JOB. I don't care if they are "casual" and I happen to care more about how they feel, what they do and say RATHER than what they FUCKING wear. Your children have more value than how they look in your "family" photo. And if you want the FAMILY fucking PHOTO, you buy the fucking khakis and button up shirts.
When Stretch called to say he was running "late" he did address this with DS12. Comb your hair and look presentable. And make sure your brother does too.
DS actually said, "it is not my job to dress my brother. YOU tell him."
WhooHOO that's my boy!!!
After they hung up, I asked DS12 if he was going to change. His answer? "There is nothing wrong with what I am wearing. These are perfectly good clothes. I wore them all day at school."
DS9, when I asked him if he wanted to change to avoid a conflict with his dad? Nope, I am good. I like what I am wearing.
OK by me.
And best line of the night? on his way out the door, DS9 is singing Dominic the Christmas donkey. He says, "I don't know why I always think of that song when dad comes..." I asked if his dad played that song a lot. DS says "No, I have only ever heard it once."
I couldn't resist.... I asked "is it because your dad reminds you of a donkey?" DS9 grinned slyly and said, "that must be it. I LOVE you Mom!" Then he hugged me and bounced out the door and defended his clothing choice with confidence.
Hell, it's nicer than what reminds me of Stretch or what I sing when he comes around!!
and btw, dying over here with what your son said.
Pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel
Like you're less than, less than perfect
Daaaaaaamn! HOpeless, I choked I laughed so hard.
Divorce is hell, but when your children can joke with you in the midst of the drama, you need to pat yourself on the back, sit and relax while you have some quiet time, and smile and know that you have done GOOD!
So, is he still living in the camper in his sister's driveway?
Can we send Genius down to live with him?
Now, no surprises here about Stretch.
I love that I can count on the peeps to ring in on a Stretch story!!
Stretch has moved up in the world. He is mooching off the OW in an actual rent house.
I love my boys! They are good, and decent, sweet children, with a bit of sarcastic flavoring. Gee, I wonder where they would get that?
Anyway he wanted to purchase summer play clothing in
Upscale department store. Reason I found out later, was due
To upcoming beach reunion with family and. OW wife tress
I was livid. Never once did he buy a fucking item of school clothing in 18 yrs, and although we were divorced when our son was 2. Ex had the computation down to the Penney what he would spend unit age 18 . It was a mediocre sum, barely paid daycare when I even received it. I was young and naive
About rights at that time.
So boy do I get you frustration. Your son isn't a prize to dress up, show off as he plays good father for a night,and then Bam.....
Give me a break
Tell me, given stretch's interpretation of presentable - were you at all tempted to have them dress up as pixels?
i think stretch is trying to be the whole scientific community on his own. hypothesis: stretch is an idiot. data to confirm hyopthesis: stretch's continuous moronic behaviour repeatability check--- check. confirmed by other groups.. what say you SI? is stretch an idiot? ---YES! -- check.
Its been scientifically proven by Stretch and confirmed by SI. It is now a confirmed fact. Stretch is, in fact, an idiot.
“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler
DS (6), DS (18 months)
Aug 30 2013 He gives me back his ring with an ultimatum: "Get over it or get out".
Status: Done like dinner
and now SI as a scientific community? There is so much to study!! thanks for the chuckles and community support and confirmation: Yes, Virgina, there is an idiot.
PurpleBirch, I have no doubt that you will get there!
The boys have had years to get to the point that they see the scientific proof: their dad is an idiot. Once it is repeated for them often enough, it becomes what is expected!
When shit is hard, dark humor can be a coping mechanism. If the boys get that from me, I will not complain.
Gee, I wonder where they would get that?
Stretch has moved up in the world. He is mooching off the OW in an actual rent house
cg - Is it wrong for me to be a little giddy whenever I see you've posted a stretch story?
"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
The idea of repeated moronic behavior had me doing a kinda "highlight reel" in my head.
Let's reflect shall we??
1. There was the time when Stretch was scrutinizing my spending and refused to send money because he wasn't going to "support my sour cream habit." Yes. I believe FaithFool declared Sour Cream was indeed a gateway drug to other dangerous dairy products like ice cream and eggnog.
2. The photo shop incident where Stretch acquired his memorable nickname. Buyer beware!!
3. I remember when he took one straight from the WS handbook and assured me that if I met OW I would "like her" since we were so much alike. Yes, Stretch is dating caregiver 2.0. as if.... more like a cheap knock off!!!
4. He promised to take DS fishing... in MONGOLIA!!! some day. (delusional much?)
5. The one bedroom camper (yes, camper- not trailer) with Stretch, OW, 3 dogs (not house trained) and the OW's toddler niece she borrowed to play "house" with. One of the dogs pee'd in Stretch's shoe!! And EOW, my 2 boys were added to the chaos.
6. The children's minister at our church took me to lunch shortly after dday and asked "why in God's name didn't I kill him while temporary insanity was a viable defense?"
7. And the WHITE BLONDE hair job that made his son and the dog fail to recognize him in the driveway!!
8. One of the other soccer moms dubbed him Spongebob and the OW Patrick after the hair dye job. Not sure why... the color wasn't exactly yellow. But the stupid part fit, so it stuck!!
9. Right after dday, Stretch was in a car wreck. He complained that it "wasn't his fault" and that "he was blindsided out of nowhere" and now he was "suffering" through no fault of his own!!! So I got a kitten and named her Karma.
I just can't bring myself to make it a top 10.
Ah, the proof. Stretch IS an idiot!!!
He truly is the gift that keeps on giving.
I am concerned about you jumping to the eggnog during this time of year when it is so readily available. Maybe you should look into dairy rehab?
I am concerned about you jumping to the eggnog during this time of year when it is so readily available.
The only eggnog that has been in the house so far this season was brought in my mom. AND I just finished a bowl of chocolate pudding WITH whipped cream she left here too...
Does this make Mom an enabler or my supplier???