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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Stretch is an idiot, as if we needed proof
caregiver9000
♀ Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 9:57 PM, December 13th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Stretch called the boys last night. After less than 3 minutes of chit chat, combined, he asks to speak to me.

Stretch: Can you please have the boys looking presentable tomorrow, like have them wear nice clothes and not look so careless?

Me: crickets. (yes, let that non response, no answer for stupid questions, sit for a full beat.)

What I DID NOT SAY: What? You expect me to insist they wear Sunday clothes on Friday night so you can trot them out for your Baptist Deacon brother and his family? Like that will make your brother forget you abandoned your family for a whore... y'all can sit around and say stupid shit like "kids are resilient."

What? You think the kids have J. Crew clothes on a single mom with NO FUCKING support income? and if they did, as IF I would send those clothes to your house. Buy your own fucking "nice" kids' clothes. Fight your own battle over getting the boys to wear something other than basketball shorts. And... If it is so fucking important to you, YOU tell them. NOT. MY. JOB. I don't care if they are "casual" and I happen to care more about how they feel, what they do and say RATHER than what they FUCKING wear. Your children have more value than how they look in your "family" photo. And if you want the FAMILY fucking PHOTO, you buy the fucking khakis and button up shirts.

When Stretch called to say he was running "late" he did address this with DS12. Comb your hair and look presentable. And make sure your brother does too.

DS actually said, "it is not my job to dress my brother. YOU tell him."

WhooHOO that's my boy!!!

After they hung up, I asked DS12 if he was going to change. His answer? "There is nothing wrong with what I am wearing. These are perfectly good clothes. I wore them all day at school."

DS9, when I asked him if he wanted to change to avoid a conflict with his dad? Nope, I am good. I like what I am wearing.

OK by me.

And best line of the night? on his way out the door, DS9 is singing Dominic the Christmas donkey. He says, "I don't know why I always think of that song when dad comes..." I asked if his dad played that song a lot. DS says "No, I have only ever heard it once."

I couldn't resist.... I asked "is it because your dad reminds you of a donkey?" DS9 grinned slyly and said, "that must be it. I LOVE you Mom!" Then he hugged me and bounced out the door and defended his clothing choice with confidence.

Hell, it's nicer than what reminds me of Stretch or what I sing when he comes around!!


Me: 43, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 12 DS 9
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5290 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
inconnu
♀ Member
Member # 24518
Default  Posted: 10:26 PM, December 13th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

we definitely didn't need more proof he's an idiot. we had that figured out a long time ago.

and btw, dying over here with what your son said.


Say what you wanna say and let the words fall out...honestly
I wanna see you be brave

Pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel
Like you're less than, less than perfect


Posts: 11978 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: TX
h0peless
♂ Member
Member # 36697
Default  Posted: 10:28 PM, December 13th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Maybe he could photoshop some fancy clothes onto them. Seems to be a specialty of his.

Posts: 1316 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Arizona
caregiver9000
♀ Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 10:30 PM, December 13th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Daaaaaaamn! HOpeless, I choked I laughed so hard.


Me: 43, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 12 DS 9
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5290 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
Iamhappytoday
♀ Member
Member # 39051
Default  Posted: 10:32 PM, December 13th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Your kids ROCK!!!

Divorce is hell, but when your children can joke with you in the midst of the drama, you need to pat yourself on the back, sit and relax while you have some quiet time, and smile and know that you have done GOOD!


BW 39
WH 34
2DD's 15 months at start
Together 10 years, M 9
OW 22 CW, 2kids by 2 men & youngest less than 1 when affair started.
Dday 1 8/16/12 "just texting"
TT, gaslighting, denial; was always PA; he left me for her.

Posts: 123 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Free!!!
ChoosingHope
♀ Member
Member # 33606
Default  Posted: 10:36 PM, December 13th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ah, I needed a good Stretch is an idiot story today.

So, is he still living in the camper in his sister's driveway?

Can we send Genius down to live with him?


Posts: 1425 | Registered: Oct 2011
rainagain
♀ Member
Member # 14917
Default  Posted: 10:39 PM, December 13th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Good for your boys! They sound like they are in a healthy good place. Not only are they great kids, you are a great mom!

Now, no surprises here about Stretch.


Now, faith is being sure of what you hope for and certain of what you cannot see. Heb 11:1
I done been through the pain and the sorrow the struggle is nothing but love. Maino
Me: Divorced BS 49
DS22, DD19, DS17

Posts: 1277 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Massachusetts
caregiver9000
♀ Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 10:45 PM, December 13th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hail, Hail, the gangs all here!!!

I love that I can count on the peeps to ring in on a Stretch story!!

Stretch has moved up in the world. He is mooching off the OW in an actual rent house.

I love my boys! They are good, and decent, sweet children, with a bit of sarcastic flavoring. Gee, I wonder where they would get that?


Me: 43, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 12 DS 9
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5290 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
Gr8Lady
♀ Member
Member # 36307
Default  Posted: 10:59 PM, December 13th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hysterical. Many years ago my ex wanted to purchase clothing for our then pre school,son for summer. ( mind you one and only time ever). Son is adult approaching 40 now.

Anyway he wanted to purchase summer play clothing in
Upscale department store. Reason I found out later, was due
To upcoming beach reunion with family and. OW wife tress

I was livid. Never once did he buy a fucking item of school clothing in 18 yrs, and although we were divorced when our son was 2. Ex had the computation down to the Penney what he would spend unit age 18 . It was a mediocre sum, barely paid daycare when I even received it. I was young and naive
About rights at that time.
.
So boy do I get you frustration. Your son isn't a prize to dress up, show off as he plays good father for a night,and then Bam.....
Give me a break


BS: Me (63yo)
FWH: HIM (65yo) serial infidelities over past 35 years
OW: Many, most recent 1/2 his age
DD: Multiple unconfirmed until 2012 when I presented evidence, plus LTA with his friends wife lasting 10 years. TT over past year
So done,

Posts: 551 | Registered: Jul 2012
SBB
♀ Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 11:29 PM, December 13th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You need better bait, fuckwit.

Tell me, given stretch's interpretation of presentable - were you at all tempted to have them dress up as pixels?



Sending all of the love and strength I can muster to Phoenix1 and her family.
"Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal."

Posts: 4517 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
newlysingle
♀ Member
Member # 38735
Default  Posted: 11:54 PM, December 13th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Your sons are awesome!


BW - Me (37)
XWH - (37) The Gnat
OW - Some dumb whore he picked up in another state and moved here here. Known as Hello Kitty.
M for 8 years, together for 10
1 DD (5), 1 DS (1 year)
Dday 3/13
Divorced 9/20/13

Posts: 714 | Registered: Mar 2013
hexed
♀ Member
Member # 19258
Default  Posted: 6:31 AM, December 14th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

you know in the weird world of science if someone does an experiment and makes some wonderful discovery, they will repeat it multiple times to be sure they got it right. Then other people from other places in the scientific community will attempt to reproduce the results before the theory is confirmed as fact.

i think stretch is trying to be the whole scientific community on his own. hypothesis: stretch is an idiot. data to confirm hyopthesis: stretch's continuous moronic behaviour repeatability check--- check. confirmed by other groups.. what say you SI? is stretch an idiot? ---YES! -- check.

Its been scientifically proven by Stretch and confirmed by SI. It is now a confirmed fact. Stretch is, in fact, an idiot.


But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler


Posts: 8242 | Registered: Apr 2008
PurpleBirch
♀ Member
Member # 39170
Default  Posted: 7:34 AM, December 14th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I love your boys. That was hilarious! Hopefully my boys will be just as blazé about moronic stuff in the future.


Me: BS (32)
Him: WH (31)
Married 3 years.
Confessed to PA April 21 2013.

DS (6), DS (18 months)

Aug 30 2013 He gives me back his ring with an ultimatum: "Get over it or get out".

Status: Done like dinner


Posts: 277 | Registered: May 2013 | From: The frozen North, eh?
caregiver9000
♀ Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 11:23 AM, December 14th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I love SI!

and now SI as a scientific community? There is so much to study!! thanks for the chuckles and community support and confirmation: Yes, Virgina, there is an idiot.

PurpleBirch, I have no doubt that you will get there!

The boys have had years to get to the point that they see the scientific proof: their dad is an idiot. Once it is repeated for them often enough, it becomes what is expected!

When shit is hard, dark humor can be a coping mechanism. If the boys get that from me, I will not complain.


Me: 43, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 12 DS 9
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5290 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 12:05 PM, December 14th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Gee, I wonder where they would get that?
It's a mystery.

Stretch has moved up in the world. He is mooching off the OW in an actual rent house

cg - Is it wrong for me to be a little giddy whenever I see you've posted a stretch story?


You can call me NIK

There's always failure. And there's always disappointment. And there's always loss.
But the secret is learning from the loss, and realizing that none of those holes are vacuums.
- Michael J. Fox


Posts: 22587 | Registered: Aug 2011
caregiver9000
♀ Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 12:34 PM, December 14th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

NIK, be giddy!

The idea of repeated moronic behavior had me doing a kinda "highlight reel" in my head.

Let's reflect shall we??

Who remembers?

1. There was the time when Stretch was scrutinizing my spending and refused to send money because he wasn't going to "support my sour cream habit." Yes. I believe FaithFool declared Sour Cream was indeed a gateway drug to other dangerous dairy products like ice cream and eggnog.

2. The photo shop incident where Stretch acquired his memorable nickname. Buyer beware!!

3. I remember when he took one straight from the WS handbook and assured me that if I met OW I would "like her" since we were so much alike. Yes, Stretch is dating caregiver 2.0. as if.... more like a cheap knock off!!!

4. He promised to take DS fishing... in MONGOLIA!!! some day. (delusional much?)

5. The one bedroom camper (yes, camper- not trailer) with Stretch, OW, 3 dogs (not house trained) and the OW's toddler niece she borrowed to play "house" with. One of the dogs pee'd in Stretch's shoe!! And EOW, my 2 boys were added to the chaos.

6. The children's minister at our church took me to lunch shortly after dday and asked "why in God's name didn't I kill him while temporary insanity was a viable defense?"

7. And the WHITE BLONDE hair job that made his son and the dog fail to recognize him in the driveway!!

8. One of the other soccer moms dubbed him Spongebob and the OW Patrick after the hair dye job. Not sure why... the color wasn't exactly yellow. But the stupid part fit, so it stuck!!

9. Right after dday, Stretch was in a car wreck. He complained that it "wasn't his fault" and that "he was blindsided out of nowhere" and now he was "suffering" through no fault of his own!!! So I got a kitten and named her Karma.

I just can't bring myself to make it a top 10.

Ah, the proof. Stretch IS an idiot!!!


Me: 43, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 12 DS 9
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5290 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 12:38 PM, December 14th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Stretch's greatest hits. OMG - I had forgotten about the dye job! Priceless.

He truly is the gift that keeps on giving.


You can call me NIK

There's always failure. And there's always disappointment. And there's always loss.
But the secret is learning from the loss, and realizing that none of those holes are vacuums.
- Michael J. Fox


Posts: 22587 | Registered: Aug 2011
IrishLass518
♀ Member
Member # 34373
Default  Posted: 12:44 PM, December 14th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Love the top 9 and don't you worry, he'll give you another to add to the list.

I am concerned about you jumping to the eggnog during this time of year when it is so readily available. Maybe you should look into dairy rehab?


Me: 45 BS Divorced
Him: 45 Married OW
DDay: 07/04/2008
Divorced: 06/15/2011
5 kids: IrishLass 27,IrishLad 25, IrishLass 22, IrishLad 21 and IrishLad 11
"You can't run from trouble..there ain't no place that far"

Posts: 1470 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: WA
caregiver9000
♀ Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 2:05 PM, December 14th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am concerned about you jumping to the eggnog during this time of year when it is so readily available.

The only eggnog that has been in the house so far this season was brought in my mom. AND I just finished a bowl of chocolate pudding WITH whipped cream she left here too...

Does this make Mom an enabler or my supplier???


Me: 43, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 12 DS 9
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5290 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
yestopants
♀ Member
Member # 41631
Default  Posted: 4:42 PM, December 14th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm new to all of this…but I just seriously laughed for real! first time in awhile. THANK YOU! Stretch sounds incredibly awesome….you can't make up the stuff WS do, they are so good at being fools. You and your kids are Awesome!


Me: 34
WH:37
Married 11years together 13 years
OW
"I don't love you anymore" 17/11/2013
DD 9 DS 7

Posts: 229 | Registered: Dec 2013
Topic Posts: 29
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