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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: That was quick
PhoenixRising88
♀ Member
Member # 35214
Default  Posted: 9:48 AM, December 13th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Okay so I went from dealing with a STBX that keeps calling me every time a piece of mail shows up for me, telling me he misses me, hell even asking to come over for dinner...

to one this week that's started accelerating closing the joint account and asking to meet me on Saturday to 'get the settlement agreement signed and notarized and be done with it'...

I wonder what her name is and if she's half his age like the last one... Fortunately NOT my problem anymore. I have to admit it does sting a little, I mean, Jesus, I've not even been moved out a month yet!


Me: BS (43)Him: EX, aka "The Dink"(50)
D-Day#1 12/22/11. D-Day#2 5/23/2013.

Divorce final 2/10/14.

Throw me to the wolves and I'll return leading the pack.


Posts: 429 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: North Texas
StillLivin
♀ Member
Member # 40229
Default  Posted: 10:09 AM, December 13th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Look at it for the blessing it really is.
He is continuing to show you who he is.
Take that little bit of sting in your pride and let it remind you of all the pain he originally caused you and run with it.
This should make it even easier to put him in your past and to move forward!


I don't need further confirmation of what a fuckwit he is. I already have plenty, thanks very much. -SBB
D: 7/2/2014

Posts: 2335 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: AZ
Take2
♀ Member
Member # 23890
Default  Posted: 3:28 PM, December 13th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Not that anyone wants a degree in this school of hard knocks - but you just passed, "Interpreting the Communication of a WS" with flying colors!

((PR88)) The sting fades. It gets better.


"We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us." Joseph Campbell...So, If fear was not a factor - what would you do?

Posts: 4133 | Registered: May 2009 | From: New England
devistatedmom
♀ Member
Member # 24961
Default  Posted: 3:32 PM, December 13th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Please do not sign anything this weekend!!! Tell him you will take them and read them over. Of course he wants you to sign them on a Saturday...so you can't have them looked over by a lawyer!!!

Maybe I'm wrong, but please be careful


BS(me) 46, Two wonderful teens.
He is no longer my best friend. Repeat until it sticks.

WH says marriage is over: May 15, 2009.
EA#2 July 20, 2009. Legally sep: Aug 16, 2009. DIVORCED!!!! Signed Nov 23, final Dec 24, 2010, adultery listed.


Posts: 5525 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Canada
PhoenixRising88
♀ Member
Member # 35214
Default  Posted: 4:10 PM, December 13th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Devastated, the papers say precisely what I want them to. I wrote them!

[This message edited by PhoenixRising88 at 4:10 PM, December 13th (Friday)]


Me: BS (43)Him: EX, aka "The Dink"(50)
D-Day#1 12/22/11. D-Day#2 5/23/2013.

Divorce final 2/10/14.

Throw me to the wolves and I'll return leading the pack.


Posts: 429 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: North Texas
still2suspicious
♀ Member
Member # 31722
Default  Posted: 4:47 PM, December 13th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

In 09, when I moved out due to what I thought was family issues (didn't know about bitchface yet) he already had her, but I later learned he also looked up our old neighbor, and went to a local restaurant/bar!! WTF????

I asked why. Ans: I thought we were gonna get D'd, and it was lonely.

I gasped "but only 6 fucking weeks?? We were together 35 yrs, for gosh sakes!

And that just showed me how little grief he would feel for me if I died first!!!

Yep, some things sting like a son-of-a-gun!

[This message edited by still2suspicious at 4:48 PM, December 13th (Friday)]


Me: BS
Him: WH
DDay: LTEA

Posts: 1304 | Registered: Apr 2011 | From:
SBB
♀ Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 4:54 PM, December 13th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yep. I have our final S email exchange to remind me of exactly how quickly he morphed into the guy I now have to deal with.

He didn't just change because he no longer wanted R - he went FERAL, totally FUBAR.

t was dazed and confused at first too but then I realised the guy I thought I loved and married was a mask. He never really existed. The mask fell off - that was why he changed so quickly.


I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5609 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
Skan
♀ Member
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 5:45 PM, December 13th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hey, if those are papers that YOU drew up, tell him you'll meet him tonight to get them signed!


Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012



Posts: 4935 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
momentintime
♀ Member
Member # 16394
Default  Posted: 12:43 AM, December 14th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Make sure he didn't make any changes before you sign.


BS-me FWS - him
D-day 8/04
R'd

"Global editing disclaimer - I edit almost everything I post, and I am not going to post why every time."...re: Bionical girl


Posts: 2986 | Registered: Sep 2007 | From: New York
gonnabe2016
♀ Member
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 12:55 AM, December 14th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

to 'get the settlement agreement signed and notarized and be done with it'...

I wonder what her name is


That's how *my* cycle works too.

If you are totally cool with the agreement, your L has given you the thumbs up, and he is ready to sign it....go for it. Finish it and be done.


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.


Posts: 8085 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
PhoenixRising88
♀ Member
Member # 35214
Default  Posted: 8:12 PM, December 14th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm the one that printed out the document and brought it to the meeting today, so I know he didn't make any changes. No lawyers, doing uncontested no kids and we've already hashed out and agreed to division of property, etc in writing. And the State of Texas provides instructions on pro se. It's a pretty straightforward process with no kids and uncontested - they even provide the forms!

So we met up at the Mail Plus store just down the street from my old house and each initialed each page and signed them and had them notarized, I made a copy for him, brought original home with me. Now all that's left is finish waiting the 'cooling off' period then schedule final hearing.

I asked him, half jokingly, "so why'd you change your mind about signing these right away? You meet somebody or what?"

And he looked right at me and said "no. Actually I was talking with Tony (friend of both of ours) who mentioned that we might want to get them signed while we're still getting along okay. Tony brought up the point that if one of us get pissed off at the other we'll stop cooperating and they'll never get signed."

Had to admit, Tony's advice was pretty damn smart.

Whatever the catalyst, I'm glad to have papers signed. Now I just gotta be patient.... freaking waiting period!!


Me: BS (43)Him: EX, aka "The Dink"(50)
D-Day#1 12/22/11. D-Day#2 5/23/2013.

Divorce final 2/10/14.

Throw me to the wolves and I'll return leading the pack.


Posts: 429 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: North Texas
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 9:16 PM, December 14th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yay for signed papers!


You can call me NIK

"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana


Posts: 25744 | Registered: Aug 2011
PurpleRose
♀ Member
Member # 33129
Default  Posted: 9:48 PM, December 14th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Tony is a smart man. Glad your STBX took that advice!


divorced the Dooosh
*****************************
even if you find your voice,
sometimes it does not matter anymore,
when you speak to a man who is deaf by choice.
~dodinsky

Posts: 3612 | Registered: Aug 2011 | From: Happyville
dmari
♀ Member
Member # 37215
Default  Posted: 10:08 PM, December 14th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Congrats on getting the papers signed!! Yahoooo! I think you are the rare uncontested ones here!


Me (BS): 43 Children: DD 19, DS 15
Divorced September 30, 2014
"It's always darkest before the dawn ..."

Posts: 2271 | Registered: Oct 2012
PhoenixRising88
♀ Member
Member # 35214
Default  Posted: 11:01 PM, December 14th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So I have only two things left to do on my big ole 'to-do' list that I made when I started this process (I'm an accountant and a natural analyzer so you betcha I've got lists and budget spreadsheets and the whole nine yards!)

1) Get divorce finalized - PENDING - S/B anytime after 1/27/14, that's when waiting period is over.

2) Refinance the car into my name - PENDING - As soon as I get final decree signed off by the judge, per the tax assessor's office I can show it to them and they will transfer title into my name and I am pre-approved already for a loan...

I am sooooo ready to type COMPLETED by these last two!!


Me: BS (43)Him: EX, aka "The Dink"(50)
D-Day#1 12/22/11. D-Day#2 5/23/2013.

Divorce final 2/10/14.

Throw me to the wolves and I'll return leading the pack.


Posts: 429 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: North Texas
Topic Posts: 15

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