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Newest Member: doihavechoice (44727)

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User Topic: Seperation/divorce And the 180
emotionalman
♂ New Member
Member # 41423
Default  Posted: 7:11 PM, November 26th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think I'm done with my WW. Two d-days, TT, and broken NC (look it up in my history, worst Break) are just too much for me.

I think I may be making a rash decision, but the broken NC was the last straw. She apologized to HIM and blamed the break on ME. She ever so gently left the door open to see him again. I told her if she contacted him again that I would leave.

She said she needed closure. She said she didn't think I'd find out. That's betrayal of trust plain and simple. How can I ever trust her again when she promised complete openness and honesty and than did this?

She said it was innocuous and the last time she'd contact him. Guess what? There is no way I can believe it. I 100% feel I can't ever trust her again, as the person she is now.

I need to live my own life now. If she comes back in a year a changed person, realizes how much she lost and how much I loved her, maybe I would consider taking her back.

But right now this is about me and my sanity. I can't be on watch everyday all day. It's unfair to me. I'm 27 and can move on from this.


Age: Late 20's
D-Day: 11/18/13
Separated: 11/25/13

Posts: 32 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: United States
Maxiom
♂ Member
Member # 26001
Default  Posted: 7:21 PM, November 26th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You are 27.. no kids, no significant financial ties. My opinion would be to move on.. forever.

I'm well over 5 years out. If I had to do it again, I would not have stayed... and I DO have kids and financial ties.


Me: FBS/WS 41
Her FWS/BS 41
My DDay - March 10, 2007 Whole Truth - May 2007
Her DDay - March 2, 2011
True NC March 3, 2011

Posts: 458 | Registered: Oct 2009 | From: Canada
emotionalman
♂ New Member
Member # 41423
Default  Posted: 7:27 PM, November 26th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

One financial tie. I cosines her student loan consolidation. Her father is a man of great integrity so I'm hoping he will trade places with me.

But if not I may be screwed for a while.


Age: Late 20's
D-Day: 11/18/13
Separated: 11/25/13

Posts: 32 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: United States
wontdefineme
♀ Member
Member # 31421
Default  Posted: 7:35 PM, November 26th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If you divorce and in a year she comes back, you will have healed and realize that you are too good to let yourself be treated like this ever again! Actions have consequences and she knew what they were. Don't be hard on yourself when you start to heal and her life just goes downhill.

Posts: 2166 | Registered: Mar 2011
Eudaimonia
♀ Member
Member # 32445
Default  Posted: 8:22 PM, November 26th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You seem to have the right attitude, emotionalman. Hang on to this because you will question it.

She does not get it. Her loss.

We are rooting for you here!


So long, and thanks for all the fish!

Posts: 472 | Registered: Jun 2011
gonnabe2016
♀ Member
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 8:40 PM, November 26th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This is the second or third thread of yours that I've read where you've used the statement that you are worried that you are making a "rash decision."
I gotta admit that I'm not seeing anything *rash* here.......especially with that recent break of NC that you found where your WW totally dunked you in the grease and acted as if she was *juliet.*


She said it was innocuous

^^^This was in regards to that text she sent to OM?

My stbx sent a pretty fucked-up NC message to one of his OW's. I'll bet that, to this day, he STILL doesn't understand what was *wrong* with the text he sent.

Your WW does.not.*get.it*. She's not even trying to *get it.* Do whatever you need to do in order to protect yourself from her and make no apologies for it. She's a disaster.


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.


Posts: 7942 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
jjsr
♀ Member
Member # 34353
Default  Posted: 8:43 PM, November 26th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I agree she is not even trying to get it. She is leaving the door open. I am sorry.


Me: BS
Him: WS
Married since 1985
Parents to 2 adult sons and 3 of the cutest cats you have ever seen
D-day 8/6/11 Truth about ONS and 9/21/11 Truth about EA
Trying to reconcile

Posts: 1618 | Registered: Dec 2011 | From: midwest now.
lisaloo
♀ Member
Member # 20082
Default  Posted: 9:06 PM, November 26th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I can't be on watch everyday all day. It's unfair to me. I'm 27 and can move on from this.

OMG-THIS!! Exactly...I wish I'd been smart enough to think this way when Dday 1 happened...I wish I had just had just left then, when I was still in my 20's...now, five years later, it's the same shit, he hasn't changed, and we're right back to square one with divorce looking like the best option, only there's a whole lot more crap to divide up and sort out now. You'll know if there is true remorse...you'll see it, feel it, and experience it. If it's not there, run for the hills while you're still young.


Me: 33 STBXH: 34 DD: 8
D Day (EA): 6-19-08
D Day #2 (SA): 7-5-10
D Day #3 (EA): 11-8-13
WH moved out: 11-18-13
Moved BACK IN (because the lawyer told him to): 11/29/13.
Filed for Divorce: 12-9-13
In house separation...fun, fun, fun.

Posts: 474 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: AL
Topic Posts: 8

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