In addition, maybe someone else has pointed this out, but since you have NO KIDS I would run away from her at this point. You gave R a shot. Nicely done. But she obviously does not appreciate that now nor will she ever. Run fast.
Just my 2cents. Sorry brother.
I'm going to be taking care of myself. She can take whatever time she needs to figure her shit out but I WON'T be waiting around on her. We have no kids and no mortgage so I will be moving on with my life. If she comes back some time later and she has fixed her shit than maybe I will give her a smallest chances. But right now I'm pretty sure I'm done.
I'm 27, have a good job, and am a great guy. I have a bright future ahead of me with or without her. And I'm not waiting around for someone who could so continuously hurt me.
Am i making a rash decision?
You gave her a shot. She did it again. You again gave her a very undeserved shot. She wrote him apologizing, saying it was fun, and that she would still be in contact if not for you. That is really enough, no?
Fun. How sickening. Not 'what we did was wrong', or 'I love my husband', but 'we had some fun' and 'he blocked you so we can't text'. Well F&*$ YOU!!
27 and already going through this. Forget it. She's had mommy telling her every step of the way you aren't good enough. She's been allowed to do anything she wants. She is, in a nutshell, a spoiled, entitled bitch that will not wake up on her own.
You can do much better, and you will. Let the next guy deal with mommy dearest and ms. can't.be.faithful.
In 3 months you'll be surprised you were even willing to work it out. In 6, you'll wonder why you liked her. In a year, you'll pray you never see her again.
her mother will have her ear EVERY DAY telling her never to come back.
THIS really resonated with me. I spent the entirety of my relationship with Crazz fending off his family because they didn't like me. Things would be wonderful with us, and he would have alone time with them and come back to me and say we might not work out. Out of the fucking blue. My crime? I encouraged him to move out on his own at 24. He was a college graduate and we were dating, and I was the first person in his life who told him he could make it out in the world. I also didn't pass out drunk all the time, so I was uptight.
That crap aside, there comes a point where a person needs to make decisions for themselves. If her mom has that much power over her then you're never going to be able to keep yourself in her favor in a sustainable way.
You want a healthy, mature, loving partner. Not someone who lies to you and reacts in a cowardly way when faced with confrontation.
You do what you need to do to be true to yourself. Take the high road and treat her with respect, but don't give her any more of your time that you know she will burn up with lies and disrespect.
For last year's words belong to last year's language
And next year's words await another voice.
And to make an end is to make a beginning. - T.S. Eliot
Tushnurse, your comment was PERFECT for me.
I calmly handed him my rings, and said I'm done, you must go. I will no longer be disrespected, and I will no longer share you. You want her, go. Have her.
I was the first person in his life who told him he could make it out in the world. I also didn't pass out drunk all the time, so I was uptight.
Jrazz, I think we married into the same family!!
I'm 27, have a good job, and am a great guy. I have a bright future ahead of me
You are not making any kind of rash decision. You are merely stating facts and standing up for yourself. Contrary to accusations otherwise, standing up for yourself is NOT controlling behavior. In actuality, anyone who perceives your standing up for yourself or your beliefs as controlling behaviour is actually the controlling person.... You are contravening them, which isn't acceptable from a controlling person.
You don't need them/her/whatever to be wrong for you to be right. Trust your gut. Be true to you. Stand by YOU
Am i making a rash decision?
I wish I was 27.
Please keep posting as you go through this (the S&D forum will help you immensely)- we'll be with you every step of the way.
Peace & strength,