Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-
like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: whathappensnext (45075)

Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: She broke NC...
MC_Jack
♂ Member
Member # 35016
Default  Posted: 12:33 PM, November 26th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Dude,

In addition, maybe someone else has pointed this out, but since you have NO KIDS I would run away from her at this point. You gave R a shot. Nicely done. But she obviously does not appreciate that now nor will she ever. Run fast.

Just my 2cents. Sorry brother.


I am not a marriage counselor. I chose "MC Jack" because I like the Music City. I did know what MC stood for on this site. Duh.

Posts: 870 | Registered: Mar 2012 | From: Mountain West
emotionalman
♂ New Member
Member # 41423
Default  Posted: 12:33 PM, November 26th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've decided that I'm going to give her the next two days to pack her shit. I will be sleeping at a friends until then. I'm going to tell her she needs to go live with her mom and figure her shit out. Her mom is going to pick her shit up on thanksgiving. HAPPY F@&!'&@$ THANKSGIVING!

I'm going to be taking care of myself. She can take whatever time she needs to figure her shit out but I WON'T be waiting around on her. We have no kids and no mortgage so I will be moving on with my life. If she comes back some time later and she has fixed her shit than maybe I will give her a smallest chances. But right now I'm pretty sure I'm done.

I'm 27, have a good job, and am a great guy. I have a bright future ahead of me with or without her. And I'm not waiting around for someone who could so continuously hurt me.

Am i making a rash decision?


Age: Late 20's
D-Day: 11/18/13
Separated: 11/25/13

Posts: 32 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: United States
painfulpast
♀ Member
Member # 41038
Default  Posted: 12:40 PM, November 26th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Rash? Hell no! There are no ties holding you to her, and she's proven she simply won't keep her word or be faithful. If 2 isn't the number (and broken NC with her saying it was 'fun'), then what is? 5? Can she cheat 5 times before you walk away? 8? 12? 239? What's the number?

You gave her a shot. She did it again. You again gave her a very undeserved shot. She wrote him apologizing, saying it was fun, and that she would still be in contact if not for you. That is really enough, no?

Fun. How sickening. Not 'what we did was wrong', or 'I love my husband', but 'we had some fun' and 'he blocked you so we can't text'. Well F&*$ YOU!!

27 and already going through this. Forget it. She's had mommy telling her every step of the way you aren't good enough. She's been allowed to do anything she wants. She is, in a nutshell, a spoiled, entitled bitch that will not wake up on her own.

You can do much better, and you will. Let the next guy deal with mommy dearest and ms. can't.be.faithful.

In 3 months you'll be surprised you were even willing to work it out. In 6, you'll wonder why you liked her. In a year, you'll pray you never see her again.


The stones from my enemies, these wounds will mend
but I cannot survive the roses from my friends

Posts: 1893 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: East Coast
Jrazz
♀ Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 12:56 PM, November 26th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You are not making a rash decision. The betrayal is hard enough - that text would have cut me to the core.

her mother will have her ear EVERY DAY telling her never to come back.

THIS really resonated with me. I spent the entirety of my relationship with Crazz fending off his family because they didn't like me. Things would be wonderful with us, and he would have alone time with them and come back to me and say we might not work out. Out of the fucking blue. My crime? I encouraged him to move out on his own at 24. He was a college graduate and we were dating, and I was the first person in his life who told him he could make it out in the world. I also didn't pass out drunk all the time, so I was uptight.

That crap aside, there comes a point where a person needs to make decisions for themselves. If her mom has that much power over her then you're never going to be able to keep yourself in her favor in a sustainable way.

You want a healthy, mature, loving partner. Not someone who lies to you and reacts in a cowardly way when faced with confrontation.

You do what you need to do to be true to yourself. Take the high road and treat her with respect, but don't give her any more of your time that you know she will burn up with lies and disrespect.

(((emotionalman)))


The best way to cheer yourself up is to try and cheer someone else up. - Mark Twain

Posts: 17570 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
RippedSoul
♀ Member
Member # 40055
Default  Posted: 12:57 PM, November 26th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Emotionalman, I'm so sorry for what you're going through. And I empathize. Unfortunately, I have no suggestions for you because I'm going through the same thing myself. Fortunately, you don't need my advice because everyone here has given you wonderful support and wisdom. So I'm just reading along and trying to learn from it, too.

Tushnurse, your comment was PERFECT for me.

I calmly handed him my rings, and said I'm done, you must go. I will no longer be disrespected, and I will no longer share you. You want her, go. Have her.
I think I'm you--just farther behind in the recovery process. Thank you!


BW: 49; SLAWH: 46; M: 23 yrs
DD#1--11/30/12 (prostitute #1)
DD#2--1/29/13 (AP, escorts #1 & #2)
DD#3--9/13 (trolling MILF site)
DD#4--10/8/13 (EA with AP cont'd)
DD: 20; DD: 18; DS: 16; DS: 14
PS: I've NEVER NOT edited my posts

Posts: 459 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: California
painfulpast
♀ Member
Member # 41038
Default  Posted: 12:58 PM, November 26th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I was the first person in his life who told him he could make it out in the world. I also didn't pass out drunk all the time, so I was uptight.

Jrazz, I think we married into the same family!!


The stones from my enemies, these wounds will mend
but I cannot survive the roses from my friends

Posts: 1893 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: East Coast
integritymatters
♀ Member
Member # 23681
Default  Posted: 1:16 PM, November 26th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm 27, have a good job, and am a great guy. I have a bright future ahead of me

You are not making any kind of rash decision. You are merely stating facts and standing up for yourself. Contrary to accusations otherwise, standing up for yourself is NOT controlling behavior. In actuality, anyone who perceives your standing up for yourself or your beliefs as controlling behaviour is actually the controlling person.... You are contravening them, which isn't acceptable from a controlling person.

You don't need them/her/whatever to be wrong for you to be right. Trust your gut. Be true to you. Stand by YOU


I dropped my toast this morning and it landed butter side up! It's going to be a good day. :)

Posts: 1482 | Registered: Apr 2009 | From: Canada
MC_Jack
♂ Member
Member # 35016
Default  Posted: 1:17 PM, November 26th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Am i making a rash decision?

NO.

I wish I was 27.


I am not a marriage counselor. I chose "MC Jack" because I like the Music City. I did know what MC stood for on this site. Duh.

Posts: 870 | Registered: Mar 2012 | From: Mountain West
Lalagirl
♀ Member
Member # 14576
Default  Posted: 1:42 PM, November 26th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Not rash at all. Whether you're 27 or 77, been married 5 years or 50, you don't deserve this, you've provided more than enough by giving her a gift that she abused horribly. I actually felt nauseous when I read the text.

Please keep posting as you go through this (the S&D forum will help you immensely)- we'll be with you every step of the way.

Peace & strength,

Lala


Me - 49; FWH - 51
Married 30 years 9/2/13
2 grown daughters-30 & 27
5yo GS & 20 mo. GD & GB #4 due 8/15(DD30) and 2.5 yo GD(DD27). D-day #1 - 1/06; D-day #2 - 3/07
Reconciled! Construction Complete.

Posts: 5058 | Registered: May 2007
Brandon808
♂ Member
Member # 35619
Default  Posted: 2:03 PM, November 26th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Am i making a rash decision?

Absolutely not. There is nothing rash about your decision, though I understand it's not an easy decision. Despite the pain you were willing to see if she showed any remorse, any regard for the M. You gave her another chance. Instead she did this.


xBH
D final 8/2012

Posts: 3882 | Registered: May 2012 | From: southeast
Topic Posts: 30
Pages: 1 · 2

Return to Forum: Just Found Out Post Reply to this Topic
adultry
Go to :
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.