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Newest Member: JRconfused (45363)

Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Not a word..from him.
Lostandpregnant
♀ Member
Member # 41433
Default  Posted: 1:04 PM, November 25th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I haven't heard a word from him since he left me a week ago for someone else. Not one word. He's ignored me completely. Not a word to see how our toddler is. Not a word to see how our unborn twins are.
Nothing.
He's just gone. Not a care in the world. How can this be real?


He left me 18 weeks pregnant with twins for another.I am a Licensed Private Investigator..it even happens to us.

Posts: 354 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Canada
plainpain
♀ Member
Member # 40139
Default  Posted: 1:16 PM, November 25th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh hon. That is just awful. I am so very sorry. If he was rational, he would have called and checked on his kids. He cannot be rational. I don't know your story, but that sounds like a man who has gone AWOL from his whole life.


Me: Believer; 40s
Him: Liar; 40s
Married 19 years
1 year EA/2 month PA/incidental infidelities I can't begin to process
OC born 2014
OW:21
In successful R, but still in just plain pain.

Posts: 807 | Registered: Jul 2013
Horsegirl
♀ Member
Member # 41217
Default  Posted: 2:05 PM, November 25th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes, same in my situation. We had to discuss finances here and there but that is it. He acts like I don't exist. So sorry you are in the situation. I know how hard it is to not want to reach out to them.


Me- 32
Him-32
Left me on 9/30/13 and moved right out
Divorce filed by him upon leaving
Living with OW

Posts: 64 | Registered: Nov 2013
Dyinghere
♀ Member
Member # 41313
Default  Posted: 2:28 PM, November 25th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That is so sad.
How is your toddler? How are you feeling with the pregnancy?




Posts: 132 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: the inside of my head
StillLivin
♀ Member
Member # 40229
Default  Posted: 2:52 PM, November 25th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You take good care of yourself and those twin babies.
He is a complete fool. Maybe he will come to his senses, maybe he won't. Either way, he doesn't deserve you or those beautiful babies. This is the worst time for you to be going through this crap. Please do everything you can to take care of your health. Maybe it will be easier if you tell yourself he is dead until after you are in a better place to deal with his betrayal.
I am so sorry this is happening to you!


I don't need further confirmation of what a fuckwit he is. I already have plenty, thanks very much. -SBB
D: 7/2/2014

Posts: 2335 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: AZ
ascian
♂ Member
Member # 40304
Default  Posted: 2:57 PM, November 25th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm so sorry for you. As a father myself I can't imagine how people can so callously leave their children and wife.


Me - BH 39
Her - FWW 36
D-Day: 8/13
Working on R

Posts: 302 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Midwest
Lostandpregnant
♀ Member
Member # 41433
Default  Posted: 3:40 PM, November 25th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My toddler is 3. She loves him SO much. She is very sad and confused and draws pictures of mommy and daddy and her.

I am not doing well in my pregnancy at all. I haven't been able to eat in about 2 weeks now because of the shock of this..I am on supplements to try and keep the babies going. I've lost 17lbs in two weeks.

I am not functioning, I am a shell.


He left me 18 weeks pregnant with twins for another.I am a Licensed Private Investigator..it even happens to us.

Posts: 354 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Canada
5454real
♂ Member
Member # 37455
Default  Posted: 3:46 PM, November 25th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am so sorry for the pain you are in. Are his parents aware of what's going on?

You HAVE to get to a lawyer. I know with all the other crap going on it seems out of reach, but you need to get some financial support coming in.

Please, get to a Dr.

Strength

(((L&P and babies)))


BH 51, WW 42
DS 23(Mine),SD 21,SS 20(Hers),DS 9 Ours, DGS 3, DGD 1 mo
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 10yrs
I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone.
― Sophocles, Antigone

Posts: 2995 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: midwest
Artemisia
♀ Member
Member # 40564
Default  Posted: 3:53 PM, November 25th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((((Lost)))))

Serious, serious, serious hugs. I am so, so sorry. What you are going through, your reality right now, very well may be the hardest thing you ever have to go through in your life. I'm saying that because I want you to know it can only get better, and it will. It doesn't help now, but knowing how hard this is please...

.... please, please go easy on yourself. Just let yourself be gently, somehow, alive in this worst place. Take care of yourself. I'm so glad you're doing supplements and please keep at them. Eat if you can. Your little ones will be ok but they need you to do this for them. Rest. Do something to take your mind off. Pray, pray, pray if that works for you, otherwise, write, call a family member or friend.

Someone who can do this to you and his babies needs to do some serious work. If he can't do that work, then this terrible place you're in right now is the first, horrible step towards a better life. It will be so hard, but someone who is capable of this and can't face it is not someone you will be able to have a real life with. Please take care of yourself, post here, we're thinking of you. More hugs.


Posts: 117 | Registered: Sep 2013
Lostandpregnant
♀ Member
Member # 41433
Default  Posted: 4:51 PM, November 25th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you for your words everyone.
This is a high risk pregnancy, and I'm being monitored pretty carefully because the chance of preterm labor is so high.
On one hand it scares me to death, and on the other hand (I feel so horrific and a like a monster saying this)..I just think maybe it best my beautiful precious babies fade away.

I don't even know who I am right now.
Being a mother has always been the best thing in my life (it still is) and I've been so excited about these babies..now every kick is torture, it reminds me of my loss. Everything just hurts so fucking much.


He left me 18 weeks pregnant with twins for another.I am a Licensed Private Investigator..it even happens to us.

Posts: 354 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Canada
Lovedyoumore
♀ Member
Member # 35593
Default  Posted: 5:37 PM, November 25th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Talk to a lawyer and document desertion. Also, check and see if you can charge OW with alienation of affection in your state. A well worded letter from an attorney might just freeze up the heat in the A.

One woman I know from years ago dropped her 4 unruly boys off with hubby and OW for a weekend with no notice. She gave them a few behavior tips before she left. Before she got home from a movie the OW had sent all of them home, H included.


Me 52
WH 52
Married 30+ years
Together trying to R

I tell people I am tired but really my heart is broken and I am sad.


Posts: 1527 | Registered: May 2012 | From: Southern, bless your heart
Lovedyoumore
♀ Member
Member # 35593
Default  Posted: 5:38 PM, November 25th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh, and call your H mother in to help. Make sure she knows everything.


Me 52
WH 52
Married 30+ years
Together trying to R

I tell people I am tired but really my heart is broken and I am sad.


Posts: 1527 | Registered: May 2012 | From: Southern, bless your heart
iwillNOT
♀ Member
Member # 40605
Default  Posted: 9:08 PM, November 25th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Lostandpregnant)))

Someday you will look back and marvel at your own strength for making it through this. You WILL make it through this. Your WH has left you holding the weight of your life alone, ran away like a coward. I believe there is a special brand of karma out there for something this despicable.

You must move forward under the assumption that he is gone. Take care of yourself because he surely isn't. Who knows what tomorrow will bring, but today, take care of you and the babies. Just getting through the day is an enormous feat of strength, and you are getting through the day, you are still here...I am sending you strength...please keep posting. I will be thinking of you and your sweet children.


Me: BS, 43
Him: WH, 44
Together 21 years
Married 14 years
Kiddos 2,6,8,10
Dday#1 2004, 3 years after EA/PA co-worker MOW
Dday#2 8-6-13, 13 months EA/9months PA with co-worker MOW - caught not confessed
Rugsweep now, pay later. Ask me how I know.

Posts: 512 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Midwest
BrighterFuture
♀ Member
Member # 38914
Default  Posted: 4:44 AM, November 26th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm so sorry. I know too well the mixed feelings you have about the babies. Take care of what you can and leave the rest to God.

Hugs!


Me:30
Him:31
D-day:2/24/13 (I was 10 weeks pregnant at the time and DS was 15 months)
Status: Parted ways!

"If only I can fight just a little longer, I know it's gonna make me stronger" Jamie Grace-Holding on.


Posts: 349 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Ohio
Dyinghere
♀ Member
Member # 41313
Default  Posted: 6:29 PM, November 26th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Post pardum depression meds will definitely be on order. Go ahead and talk to the doc about it.




Posts: 132 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: the inside of my head
Abbondad
♂ Member
Member # 37898
Default  Posted: 6:37 PM, November 26th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Horrifying. One of the worst things I've read on this site. I am so sorry. Please find a friend and/or family member and get yourself to an attorney (and of course your OB/GYN).


Divorced April Fool's Day 2014

Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
-Dune


Posts: 1627 | Registered: Dec 2012
wontdefineme
♀ Member
Member # 31421
Default  Posted: 6:46 PM, November 26th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It sucks when they just turn their backs. But it is easier when they don't have to look at what they did. Get an attorney as soon as possible and get the financial support immediately.

He might be wanting you to chase him, but don't. Get hold of your support system and let them help you.

Mine left and didn't call the kids very much. Christmas day came and he didn't call. Told me he sat drunk in front of a TV, never stopped lying, not even to the kids. Even told me he stayed away waiting for me to calm down.

If he will leave you in this state, let the cow have him, he is not worth anymore of your life, not one second! I had a woman once tell me, "if he will do it to his children that are blood, then why not do it to you".

He is acting like a spoilt brat with a new toy and discards his old toys because they are not new anymore.

Where are your parents, family, friends? Let them protect your heart right now. Cry and scream and mourn for your old life and be careful if he turns back up. Don't let him play head games, don't let him have the control, listen to the wise people here who have words of wisdom that you cannot hear right now. I know that you would rather take him back and want your family reunited, what mother wouldn't want that, but these cheaters know how to play the game better and they get the best of the BS because we would sacrifice ourselves for our babies and our families.


Posts: 2175 | Registered: Mar 2011
Topic Posts: 17

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