Thanks again, everyone.
Believe me, the "strong" front is just for the kids. My younger one is grieving in his own way, and we encourage it. My older boy is autistic, and although he doesn't process things the same way that you and I do, he is still upset, and grieving...at least that is my interpretation.
As for my wife, she powers through the day, and collapses from exhaustion back at our room. I know that she can function these next 4-5 days---it is when we are heading home is when I will really start to worry. She freely admits that she is not sure how she will handle herself emotionally once *normal* life resumes.
As for me, don't worry---I am grieving. I am not sleeping much, and as soon as everyone falls asleep at night, I cry like a damn baby for what seems an eternity. I just thought that I would run out of tears by now.
Not the most macho, but I can give two shits less about that. I am comfortable enough in my own skin to have a soft heart for animals. They are just so damn innocent compared to humans. They love us for who we are, and the more love that we give them, the more they reciprocate. And that is what makes it so hard with Sophia. She was so loving. She was flawless---because my wife and I loved every idiosyncrasy about her. We learned more about her all the time, as she grew, and loved her that much more.
I've got to stop rambling. I could go on for hours, but just know that I miss her dearly. And I hurt for my wife and children. Like infidelity, there is no shortcut through this. It has to be processed, dealt with, and moved forward from.
I just wish that time would speed up a little.
2 boys-17 & 19(special needs)
Married 21yrs.(together 26yrs.)
All work and no play has just cost me my wife--Gary Puckett
D-Day: 9/18/09 D-Day#2: 2/19/10 The Marriage Killer: 6/6/11
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