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Newest Member: downanout (45360)

New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: No respect/ being judgmental
♀ Member
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 6:36 AM, November 25th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


As far as advice on being cautious the right ones will want to make it through Be yourself and cautious in my opinion is key!

^^^^THIS is what I keep telling myself. I KNOW I'm worth it, I have my life together in every aspect except for "successfully" dating. The right guy is going to recognize I am worth whatever "trouble" I cause. I don't want to make another mistake in choosing a partner…so I"m going to be choosy and cautious. The right guy is going to understand where I'm coming from and why. And that I know I'm not perfect, I'm just doing the best I can given the situation.

When he made the comment, I let him talk a few sentences then changed the subject to soccer. I don't "go deep" on first dates. I honestly don't think my ex came up except for one sentence or two about cheating/how we handle the holidays (he D'd his first wife because she was the WS…but then walked away from the kid?? Ugg...), but in 3 hours of talking, there was little talk of ex's.

But, yeah, something about when he said *I* was too cautious after following with a small bomb... irked me. He said enough during the exchange, (he SAID he walked away, said he did the same thing his Dad did to him, AND over-compensated with his current kids), that I knew it would have probably needed to be a really deep connection to continue…and it wasn't.

I always question myself when something like this happens. I don't want to judge or make snap decision. Sometimes I do and I regret them later. But, this one, I'm comfortable that we were not a match.

I'll go look again after the holidays. I'm just going to get through finals/final papers and enjoy my kids over Christmas.

me...BS, 43 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, together 17

"For whatever we lose, like a you or a me, it's always ourselves we find in the sea" ee cummings

Posts: 4186 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: South
♀ Member
Member # 36126
Default  Posted: 7:37 AM, November 25th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You sound like you have a great life!

Enjoy your children and the right person will come along

Good luck with finals!

Posts: 1006 | Registered: Jul 2012
♂ Member
Member # 40606
Default  Posted: 9:34 PM, November 27th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He is not a good fit. He should have led with soccer and stuck to it.

You can always recover from shallow. Deep is forever.

Posts: 212 | Registered: Sep 2013
Topic Posts: 23
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