As far as advice on being cautious the right ones will want to make it through Be yourself and cautious in my opinion is key!
^^^^THIS is what I keep telling myself. I KNOW I'm worth it, I have my life together in every aspect except for "successfully" dating. The right guy is going to recognize I am worth whatever "trouble" I cause. I don't want to make another mistake in choosing a partner…so I"m going to be choosy and cautious. The right guy is going to understand where I'm coming from and why. And that I know I'm not perfect, I'm just doing the best I can given the situation.
When he made the comment, I let him talk a few sentences then changed the subject to soccer. I don't "go deep" on first dates. I honestly don't think my ex came up except for one sentence or two about cheating/how we handle the holidays (he D'd his first wife because she was the WS…but then walked away from the kid?? Ugg...), but in 3 hours of talking, there was little talk of ex's.
But, yeah, something about when he said *I* was too cautious after following with a small bomb... irked me. He said enough during the exchange, (he SAID he walked away, said he did the same thing his Dad did to him, AND over-compensated with his current kids), that I knew it would have probably needed to be a really deep connection to continue…and it wasn't.
I always question myself when something like this happens. I don't want to judge or make snap decision. Sometimes I do and I regret them later. But, this one, I'm comfortable that we were not a match.
I'll go look again after the holidays. I'm just going to get through finals/final papers and enjoy my kids over Christmas. me...BS, 43 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, together 17
"For whatever we lose, like a you or a me, it's always ourselves we find in the sea" ee cummings