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I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: Betrayed Men - Part 16
Ascendant
♂ Member
Member # 38303
Default  Posted: 11:36 AM, December 25th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Merry Christmas to all you gentlemen.


“Anyone who has a continuous smile on his face conceals a toughness that is almost frightening.”

Posts: 1584 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Illinois
5454real
♂ Member
Member # 37455
Default  Posted: 1:36 PM, December 25th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Merry Christmas guys.


BH 50, WW 41
DS 23(Mine),SD 21,SS 19(Hers),DS 8 Ours, DGS 2 1/2
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 10yrs
“I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone.”
― Sophocles, Antigone

Posts: 2063 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: midwest
Mikey56
♂ Member
Member # 38063
Default  Posted: 2:04 PM, December 25th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Merry Christmas Brothers!

Strength and Peace to you all......


Posts: 108 | Registered: Jan 2013
Crumbled324
♂ Member
Member # 33902
Default  Posted: 8:30 PM, December 25th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Merry Christmas Brothers of the Board.

Hoping you all find a moments peace today.

Thank you all for just being here.


BH: 45
fWW: 44
Beautiful 7 year old daughter
Married 21 years, Together 27 - High School Sweethearts
Reconciling

Posts: 84 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: Michigan
DefeatedDad
♂ Member
Member # 41026
Default  Posted: 8:59 AM, December 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I hope all of you guys had an enjoyable and trigger-free Christmas.

I did pretty well yesterday. It was just me and fWW and our kids at home by ourselves. fWW and I had some nice Christmas morning sex, and then she went all out and cooked a fantastic Christmas dinner. The kids liked their gifts, I got another shitty tie...so it was all good.

We had the in-laws over on Christmas Eve and I managed to get through the evening without lapsing into an argument with her dad. (I no longer call him my Father In Law, since that is a title of respect and honor... neither of which he deserves or has earned from me).


Me - BS 46
Wife - WS 44
Son 13, Daughter 17
Married 22 years
D-day May 16, 2012
TT D-Day 2 9/25/17
TT D-Day 3 1/02/14

Divorcing her sorry a--.


Posts: 217 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: New Mexico
thinkingclear
♂ Member
Member # 38884
Default  Posted: 9:48 AM, December 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I hope everyone had a fantastic Christmas!!!

This was the first one since the separation. The kids had a fabulous time. My 4 year old did exceptionally well and was very observant. He looked at me with concern and said "Dad, maybe you can be good next year because you didn't get anything in your stocking this year. I thought you were good. Wonder why Santa didn't think so?"

Mental note - throw some things in my stocking next year.

Today is the anniversary of my original D-day - 12/26/11. Man was that a shitty day and it came after a normal and happy Christmas day. Today things so far are going well. The burden has lessened with time but not gone away entirely.


BS - Me
WW - Her
10 month EA/PA

Posts: 211 | Registered: Apr 2013
lordhasaplan?
♂ Member
Member # 30079
Default  Posted: 9:56 AM, December 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I hope everyone had a great Christmas!!!
Christmas for me was a bunch of great bourbons, Not too bad......


D-day: 5/18/10, lies and TT till (11/26/10)

Posts: 1796 | Registered: Nov 2010
DefeatedDad
♂ Member
Member # 41026
Default  Posted: 1:09 PM, December 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thinkingclear I'm sorry today is such a bummer for you.

But I'll bet, in a few years, after you have put this black part of your life behind you, and you have found a new woman to love, that you will look back on Dec 26th as the day of your re-birth.

[This message edited by DefeatedDad at 1:09 PM, December 26th (Thursday)]


Me - BS 46
Wife - WS 44
Son 13, Daughter 17
Married 22 years
D-day May 16, 2012
TT D-Day 2 9/25/17
TT D-Day 3 1/02/14

Divorcing her sorry a--.


Posts: 217 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: New Mexico
Sal1995
♂ Member
Member # 39099
Default  Posted: 4:38 PM, December 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Good afternoon gents, I hope everyone had a merry and peaceful Christmas. I had one of the best Christmases ever. Surprising, since it came on the heels of a nightmarish Thanksgiving that me convinced it was time to pull the plug. Something seemed to change in December.

Not sure why, but I think I finally accepted that my wife, despite her many wonderful qualities, is messed up in certain areas. Instead of raging or triggering every time I think of the affair or perceive something wrong in what she does or says, maybe I've finally accepted things for how they are and not what I ideally would like to see. Bottom line - my wife had a FOO experience that deprived her of the skills needed to make better choices. Instead, she copied the choices that at least 3 generations have modeled for her. Now she's trying like hell to heal and learn better coping skills in IC and through church involvement. She's making me and our marriage her top priority after years of giving me her "leftovers", to use her term.

So we're headed for 2014, still together. Still an intact family. This will be the first year since 2011 that wasn't partially tainted by her 10 month affair. We'll see where life takes us. I can't wait to pop the champagne bottle on a new year!

[This message edited by Sal1995 at 4:40 PM, December 26th (Thursday)]


Me-45
WW-42
DDay 2/17/13, 10 month PA/EA
Final NC late Feb. '13
M - 18 years, together 19+
4 children

Reconciled


Posts: 1024 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Texas
Later
♂ Member
Member # 39375
Default  Posted: 4:56 PM, December 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Congratulations Sal, I continue to be impressed with your strength and attitude. Your kids have a wonderful father.
And you are giving your wife a wonderful opportunity to heal. I wish you both the best and will say a prayer asking The Lord to help her accept that gift.

Posts: 384 | Registered: May 2013
Ascendant
♂ Member
Member # 38303
Default  Posted: 6:17 PM, December 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I can't wait to pop the champagne bottle on a new year!
Hear, hear. I second that motion. Time is a terrible fucking word, but it is the truth. Healing takes place incrementally...it has at least for me.

Weird question to put out there for you guys, but is any of you more than a little bit familiar with the Anne Rice Vampire Books ? If so, PM me. I know that seems out of left field, but (I swear!) it has some resonance with me right now as it relates to this whole situation that I'd care to share with someone who knows the books pretty well.


“Anyone who has a continuous smile on his face conceals a toughness that is almost frightening.”

Posts: 1584 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Illinois
Tred
♂ Member
Member # 34086
Default  Posted: 6:25 PM, December 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sal,

That sounds real positive! Best of luck brother. I'm looking forward to blowing the cork on this year as well. In the annals of history it was just another year. People were born, people died, some had a great year, some struggled, some people were married, divorced, or betrayed. Life. Beats the alternative.


Married: 16 years (14 @JFO)
D-Day: 11/09/11
"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)

Posts: 3294 | Registered: Dec 2011
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 7:55 PM, December 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have a special pocket
where unsolicited sighs reside,
where things are said
out of the blue
to me.

I pull them out and read them when I need.

My oldest son put 3 notes in there recently;
"Dad, I'll never cheat, you know why? Cuz I saw what you went through." and "I always respected you Dad, because you never talked bad about mom."
That's two.

The third was; "You raised me right."
It was my Christmas present.

I've had the shitty ties and lies,
suspendered mundanes,
ephemeral things,
shitty beer.
Nothing else was worth my eyes misting up
just then...
after biding my tongue all those years.

('sa wonder it don't got holes in it)

May your pockets be full.

[This message edited by jjct at 8:41 PM, December 26th (Thursday)]


Posts: 5996 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
Ascendant
♂ Member
Member # 38303
Default  Posted: 8:06 PM, December 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well said, JJCT.


“Anyone who has a continuous smile on his face conceals a toughness that is almost frightening.”

Posts: 1584 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Illinois
Tred
♂ Member
Member # 34086
Default  Posted: 8:08 PM, December 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Petition started to change JJCT's name to Aristotle. Seconded?


Married: 16 years (14 @JFO)
D-Day: 11/09/11
"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)

Posts: 3294 | Registered: Dec 2011
foundoutlater
♂ Member
Member # 32900
Default  Posted: 8:14 PM, December 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

A belated Merry Christmas to everyone.

Damn it jjct – you made me cry at work. I’m happy to hear you got the gifts that stoke the fire within this Christmas.


Your beliefs don’t make you a better person, your behavior does.

Posts: 1059 | Registered: Jul 2011
Sal1995
♂ Member
Member # 39099
Default  Posted: 8:20 PM, December 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Seconded


Me-45
WW-42
DDay 2/17/13, 10 month PA/EA
Final NC late Feb. '13
M - 18 years, together 19+
4 children

Reconciled


Posts: 1024 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Texas
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 8:47 PM, December 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Fifth!


Posts: 5996 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
5454real
♂ Member
Member # 37455
Default  Posted: 8:49 PM, December 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Lol, now that we're up for a 5th.....


BH 50, WW 41
DS 23(Mine),SD 21,SS 19(Hers),DS 8 Ours, DGS 2 1/2
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 10yrs
“I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone.”
― Sophocles, Antigone

Posts: 2063 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: midwest
Ascendant
♂ Member
Member # 38303
Default  Posted: 9:49 PM, December 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Woo! About to settle down with some Man-gria. 3 cups red wine, 1 cup Vodka, 1 cup OJ, sugar to taste. (per batch, not one drink, unless you're FAR more hardcore than I)


“Anyone who has a continuous smile on his face conceals a toughness that is almost frightening.”

Posts: 1584 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Illinois
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