Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-
Find a Local Couselor
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: Futurefear (43176)

I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: Betrayed Men - Part 16
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 7:28 PM, December 19th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Rollit, here's how I dealt with the problem of forgiveness, ymmv. I let it go.

Unacceptable behavior is unacceptable behavior...and that's on her, what she does, you see? I do not have to accept unacceptable behavior into my life, it is not required from me, to be good, or accepted (myself!) - I just asked for HIM to put forgiveness in my heart. Honest injun. I just knew, or had faith, that's what He would want me to do. She stole my sons' inheritance and gave it to her poser so it was hard, I'm still working on giving it up, forgiving, and being indifferent.
He's done a good job on me. I think he likes me ok, seeins how he allows me to keep huggin up close pretty women all over the place, or maybe I'm becoming unhinged, because, thinking about what your wife is doing makes me happy for you.
You can R when your wife has remorse. That's the most essential ingredient. Of course! inaway I envy you! it can't be bought.
Otherwise I'da spent all my coin for it.


Posts: 6005 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
Sproket
♂ Member
Member # 41262
Default  Posted: 7:44 PM, December 19th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Mr. Kite

All that stuff sounds like my WS reasoning.

All this made up stuff and crap. I was like why the hell you married me or even stayed with me. If I made you so miserable why be here?


I had a trigger yesterday.
We received some Holiday cards in the mail. The family photo kind and she was like we don't have any family photo's.
I just got pissed!!


ME:BS 40
W: WW 40
M: Oct 2009
D.D Nov 2, 2013

Posts: 68 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: VA
Mr. Kite
♂ Member
Member # 28840
Default  Posted: 8:17 PM, December 19th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sometimes I think the best cure for waywardness is just to grow the hell up.

If I didn't care about how this weekend goes, this would be up on my refrigerator in big black letters. But alas...

But when the fertilizer struck the ventilator, to her it had all been bad - all 24+ years of it.

They really do say and believe anything once they have checked out.

Evil behavior must always be justified by the perpetrator or their mind will implode.

ďI was a good wife for many of our years together, doesnít that count for somethingĒ

Yeah, I've encountered that illogic a time or two. "I can't understand why you don't trust me" is a favorite.

I was like why the hell you married me or even stayed with me. If I made you so miserable why be here?

In some marriages the man becomes the back-up plan, the comfortable, predictable, clueless, safe but boring husband who will always be there no matter what. This is why when some here have shown their WW's the door and filed for D, some WW's have gone into shock or lashed out in rage, while others got the message that they had underestimated their husbands and got their act together.


Posts: 900 | Registered: Jun 2010 | From: Mid-Atlantic
64fleet
♂ Member
Member # 18710
Default  Posted: 7:49 AM, December 20th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

FOO issues out the wazoo, inability to communicate, then motherhood and mid life crisis arrive at the same time, and bingo, a series of shitty decisions.


exactly what happened here...


time wounds all heels

Posts: 5359 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: deliverance land
Merlin
♂ Member
Member # 30221
Default  Posted: 8:13 AM, December 20th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Fleet,

No FOO issues I could see in 25 years.

But mid-life, maybe menopause (she turned 50), non-communication and mom 'burn-out' were all in our mix.

And bad decisions after even worse choices were constant.

Even giving it everything I had for longer than I could made no difference - no difference at all.

Once they get so far ahead of us in the check-out line, they are gone.


"I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself. A bird will fall frozen dead from a bough without ever having felt sorry for itself." D. H. Lawrence

Her: WW/56 Me: BS/62, 24yrs M
3 great kids, now 22, 20, 17 b,b,g
D-Day 8/14/08, D 1/13/11


Posts: 1080 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: East Coast
Tred
♂ Member
Member # 34086
Default  Posted: 8:46 AM, December 20th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Damn Merlin. I remember when MyPoorBoys was going through that shit in NJ. It doesn't sound very accommodating to the men who get betrayed up there.


Married: 16 years (14 @JFO)
D-Day: 11/09/11
"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)

Posts: 3299 | Registered: Dec 2011
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 9:47 AM, December 20th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I remembered him too Merlin.
NJ - sucks to be a BH there...
If he's in lurkdom -
Come out come out wherever you are!!!!!!!!!!!

Posts: 6005 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
64fleet
♂ Member
Member # 18710
Default  Posted: 10:35 AM, December 20th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

merlin-I found out about FOO well after dday-an uncle sexually molested her from a really young age-I had no idea before, her folks were devout onlies M'd 40+ yrs, seemed all Saturday Evening Post; except for this uncle who "watched" the kids at times...

mpb prolly can't afford a computer or phone now that the court is done with him.


time wounds all heels

Posts: 5359 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: deliverance land
Later
♂ Member
Member # 39375
Default  Posted: 1:22 PM, December 20th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yeah, the uncle. And can someone please explain how it came to pass that we all went to that piece of shit's funeral? I can't believe the level of rugsweeping in her family.

Posts: 384 | Registered: May 2013
foundoutlater
♂ Member
Member # 32900
Default  Posted: 3:54 PM, December 20th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

maybe the most overlooked factor: immaturity.

I hate this one but I have to agree - the underdeveloped sense of self and morals.

Another that I donít think Iíve seen here directly is ďthe first timeĒ. The IC brought this out, that the first sexual experience has a strong influence on our sexual development. Makes some sense to me and fits in with what some CSA victims who had only one episode of abuse endure later in life. Iím not sure how you could ever prove this scientifically. Not like you can go back and try it a different way to see how we come out.


Your beliefs donít make you a better person, your behavior does.

Posts: 1062 | Registered: Jul 2011
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 4:07 PM, December 20th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

CSA runs in the background on many of the stories all over SI.
As far as 'normal first time', I didn't mind so much I wasn't her first, I just wanted to be her last.
Didn't work out.

It's Friday (here, anyway:)


Posts: 6005 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
foundoutlater
♂ Member
Member # 32900
Default  Posted: 4:17 PM, December 20th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

As far as 'normal first time', I didn't mind so much I wasn't her first, I just wanted to be her last.
Didn't work out
.

Same here jjct, same thing. For me though Iím hoping for a different outcome. So far I like where itís going and I like my life again. I should have focused on that part much sooner but Iím happy I am heading that way. So much of the baggage that weighed me down no longer bothers me. Iíve got a long road ahead but I like the road Iím on and I like my travel companion. Hard to believe sometimes itís the same person whoís actions I nearly let destroy me. I guess we humans are complicated. BTW it was good to see the pic with the brunette Ė glad to see you enjoying yourself.


Your beliefs donít make you a better person, your behavior does.

Posts: 1062 | Registered: Jul 2011
Sal1995
♂ Member
Member # 39099
Default  Posted: 4:48 PM, December 20th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Gents, I've never mentioned this before but I have limited psychic powers. I had a vision earlier today that strongly indicated that tonight, most men on this thread will be enjoying adult beverages of their choice. Some of you are no doubt thinking right now "Wow, Sal really nailed it. I was planning on drinking tonight."

Uncanny, I know. Don't ask me how I do it, this falls under the realm of the supernatural.

Have a great weekend fellas.


Me-45
WW-42
DDay 2/17/13, 10 month PA/EA
Final NC late Feb. '13
M - 18 years, together 19+
4 children

Reconciled


Posts: 1025 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Texas
Ascendant
♂ Member
Member # 38303
Default  Posted: 4:55 PM, December 20th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow, Sal. I *just* had two Pacificos. You magnificent bastard.


ďAnyone who has a continuous smile on his face conceals a toughness that is almost frightening.Ē

Posts: 1587 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Illinois
LosferWords
♂ Guide
Member # 30369
Default  Posted: 5:04 PM, December 20th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm working on a Samuel Smith's Winter Welcome ale at the moment. Glorious stuff. Will probably have a dram or two of Glenmorangie later on.

Cheers dudes.


Posts: 4512 | Registered: Dec 2010
Sal1995
♂ Member
Member # 39099
Default  Posted: 5:12 PM, December 20th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I *just* had two Pacificos.

I'm working on a Samuel Smith's Winter Welcome ale at the moment.

I can confirm that.

Will probably have a dram or two of Glenmorangie later on.

You will, my friend. You will...


Me-45
WW-42
DDay 2/17/13, 10 month PA/EA
Final NC late Feb. '13
M - 18 years, together 19+
4 children

Reconciled


Posts: 1025 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Texas
LosferWords
♂ Guide
Member # 30369
Default  Posted: 5:15 PM, December 20th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We'll see, Sal. I'm still trying to decide between the Glenmorangie or the Glenfarclas. Tough decision I'm facing here.

Posts: 4512 | Registered: Dec 2010
Ascendant
♂ Member
Member # 38303
Default  Posted: 5:26 PM, December 20th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Lol. Sal is like one of those bad TV psychics...."I'm sensing someone.... Likes... Music?"


ďAnyone who has a continuous smile on his face conceals a toughness that is almost frightening.Ē

Posts: 1587 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Illinois
LosferWords
♂ Guide
Member # 30369
Default  Posted: 5:31 PM, December 20th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

LOL. I'm telling you, FP, we have some talented gents on this here thread!

Posts: 4512 | Registered: Dec 2010
sunsetslost
♂ Member
Member # 39885
Default  Posted: 5:33 PM, December 20th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sal your gifts are being underutilized on us poor bastards. There's a tavern that serves Anchor Steam within walking distance. And since it's unseasonably warm a stroll may be in order.

Cheers boys


D Day: 6/13/13
Moving on. Every Single Day.

Posts: 481 | Registered: Jul 2013
Topic Posts: 1000
Pages: 1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11 · 12 · 13 · 14 · 15 · 16 · 17 · 18 · 19 · 20 · 21 · 22 · 23 · 24 · 25 · 26 · 27 · 28 · 29 · 30 · 31 · 32 · 33 · 34 · 35 · 36 · 37 · 38 · 39 · 40 · 41 · 42 · 43 · 44 · 45 · 46 · 47 · 48 · 49 · 50

Return to Forum: I Can Relate This Topic is Full
adultry
Go to :
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.