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I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: Betrayed Men - Part 16
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 9:29 AM, December 14th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

More welcome to you fly!
I've "followed" you because your story was particularly effd up!

But more so because - I see you posting uplifting & supportive things in jfo & elsewhere, & with all you had to put up with yourself?
Whoa dude!
You are one strong hombre.
My hat's off to you!

Oh! & noobs hafta get the beer!


Posts: 6021 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
Ascendant
♂ Member
Member # 38303
Default  Posted: 10:29 AM, December 14th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Third anniversary of d-day #1 is done and over with, and the anniversary of d-day #2 is coming up in five days. Been having some unpleasant dreams that involved the Fat Bastard and such the last week or two, but other than that, doing okay. This year has overall been easier to deal with than the last two.
I feel you on this. Assuming I have the whole story from my wife (and who really knows?), her and the POSER had sex three times...once on Dec. 1st, once on Dec. 17th, and then one day in between those two of an indeterminate date. Some I'm right smack dab in the midst of A season. DDAY is January 8th (or so). I had a dream the other night about jumping OM while he was on his way to catch the bus, and then dousing him in gasoline and lighting him on fire.


“Anyone who has a continuous smile on his face conceals a toughness that is almost frightening.”

Posts: 1616 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Illinois
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 11:15 AM, December 14th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ahh triggerdreams! Doncha just love em?

In mine, I walked up to poser & shot him dead, point blank, center mass.
I kept walking away, didn't even bother to turn around and see him hit the dirt.
I FELT NOTHING.
I even dropped the gun at the scene as I passed by.
Not a fuck was given by jj.

As I continued on walking, a large group of black "suits" approached me to apprehend me, and only then did I suddenly realize what I had done. I was horrified, and immediately fell to sobbing on a large, bus-sized(?) flat "rock". (spiritual significance)

For a triggerdream, I feel it's ok for me - in the sense that 'he's dead, jim'...there was a finality to it. A sense that "I'm DONE." (caring about/worrying about poser)
Felt pretty good to get out of me, a finality.

So, a question fp -
How did you feel? In the dream, when you bbq'd poser?


Posts: 6021 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
Ascendant
♂ Member
Member # 38303
Default  Posted: 11:20 AM, December 14th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So, a question fp -
How did you feel? In the dream, when you bbq'd poser?
Incredible. Righteous. Satisfied. Relieved, mostly. Scared of the consequences (jail, not seeing my son and the effect upon him), but no remorse over POSER. I'm not a spiritual person (putting it mildly), so that aspect doesn't weigh upon me at all.


“Anyone who has a continuous smile on his face conceals a toughness that is almost frightening.”

Posts: 1616 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Illinois
LosferWords
♂ Guide
Member # 30369
Default  Posted: 11:31 AM, December 14th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hello, and welcome, thefly!

FP - those antiversary dates are rough, but they do get easier to deal with each year. That first year is the pits.

My dreams have also gotten to be more civil. Early on, though, I had some classics. The best one involved an engine hoist and a wood chipper. I'll leave it at that.


Posts: 4557 | Registered: Dec 2010
MC_Jack
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Member # 35016
Default  Posted: 11:49 AM, December 14th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sunsetslost, which beach?

welcome fly.

Dreams: can't say that I have had any biggies. Early on I had a dream where I was at a hotel with WW and she got a call from OM to leave our room and go to his...which she did...and...OM was Tim Tebow.

I met the OM once or twice around 21 years ago, and got to know his BW through phone conversations earlier this year. She is divorcing him. So he has lost his family.

I had a dream last week where I was in some high rise condo, almost a dorm environment, and OM came into the lobby. He held is head down and did not look at me, and walked past me. I turned around, called his name, and held out my hand and shook his. Hmmm.


I am not a marriage counselor. I chose "MC Jack" in the spirit of a handle like "MC Hammer" or Young MC"...there is a lot of 'rapping' here, no? At the time I did not know what MC stood for on this site. Duh.

Posts: 792 | Registered: Mar 2012 | From: West Coast of Hopa-hopa-land
StillGoing
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Member # 28571
Default  Posted: 11:54 AM, December 14th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Only dream I remember having about OM was him dangling over the edge of a cliff with me holding him and really wanting to drop him and piss off the edge, but his kid was there so I pulled him up and beat his ass instead. Then there was a zerg with the lower half of it's body a giant waffle cone telling me riddles or something, I dunno.


“Fate is a fickle bitch who dotes on irony.”

Posts: 7116 | Registered: May 2010 | From: USA
Tred
♂ Member
Member # 34086
Default  Posted: 12:07 PM, December 14th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I hate those dreams. My doctor calls them "nightmares" or some clinical jargony shit. She says it's my bodies way of coping with the stress and trying to process it. I can't wait until my body stops processing it, I'm getting real fucking tired of watching the sausage made.

Welcome Fly. I second JJ - noobs get the next beer.

FP - hang in there mate. This is a bad season (not that there is a good one) for a lot of us. I can't wait until I no longer think of her moving Christmas stuff of of her AP's bed so they could get festive. It sucks, because I thought it was a wonderful Christmas. Just didn't know my wife was being unwrapped by another man. There's a ho ho ho joke in there somewhere but I can't be bothered.


Married: 16 years (14 @JFO)
D-Day: 11/09/11
"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)

Posts: 3305 | Registered: Dec 2011
Sal1995
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Member # 39099
Default  Posted: 12:32 PM, December 14th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I can't wait until I no longer think of her moving Christmas stuff of of her AP's bed so they could get festive. It sucks, because I thought it was a wonderful Christmas. Just didn't know my wife was being unwrapped by another man. There's a ho ho ho joke in there somewhere but I can't be bothered.

Tred, I've said it before but it's worth repeating - whatever else was taken from you on D Day, your sense of humor has survived this ordeal intact. Maybe better than ever, although I can only speculate about that.

My only issue with your last post is that for the rest of the holiday season, when I hear "ho ho ho" I'll think of a jolly gift giver, just not the fat-man-in-a-red-suit version. But I've lived with worse these past 10 months.

[This message edited by Sal1995 at 12:37 PM, December 14th (Saturday)]


Me-45
WW-42
DDay 2/17/13, 10 month PA/EA
Final NC late Feb. '13
M - 18 years, together 19+
4 children

Reconciled


Posts: 1035 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Texas
Razor
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Member # 16345
Default  Posted: 12:41 PM, December 14th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Dreams. I have had some beauties. I tend to lucid dream allot and some are quite epic.

Crucifying OM.
Another
Think of Poe Pit and the Pendulum.
Another
Taking a branding iron to OMs face.
Another
Hanging OM and starting at the bottom chopping off bits of his body and searing them with a blow torch.

There are more but you all would think I were criminally insane should I share them.

I knew OM. Had met him at my WWs company parties. Then suddenly those partys were supposed to be for employees only according to WW so I didnt go anymore. Then after we moved OM came to visit my o so lonely WW. He stayed with us for a week. I was at work much of that time so no telling what went on tho WW swears there was no sex. sure. yeh I believe that. I also shuttled him around on weekends to see the local sights and bought him dinner. I even bought him a souvenir t shirt at one place we went.

We all say that we should hold only our WW responsible. That OM never made vows to us. The thing is as human beings we have (IMO) a responsibility to other human beings to not be a total shit. Without this laws would have no purpose and all would fall into anarchy.

So I hate the mother fucker.


Forgive and forget = Relive and regret.


Posts: 3086 | Registered: Sep 2007
5454real
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Member # 37455
Default  Posted: 3:04 PM, December 14th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

welcome the fly. been in your shoes with a bitter divorce and custody battle. that was awhile ago after my first marriage. but I still remember the pain and struggles, doesn't let you off buying the beer though. bottom line, I won custody. I think she was most pissed off about having to pay me child support. said a lot about what her priorities were.

the dreams, think the movie Hellraiser.

pretty much past that crap. trying to focus on the positives. every once in awhile though.....


BH 50, WW 41
DS 23(Mine),SD 21,SS 19(Hers),DS 8 Ours, DGS 2 1/2
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 10yrs
“I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone.”
― Sophocles, Antigone

Posts: 2071 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: midwest
reallyscrewedup7
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Member # 30825
Default  Posted: 3:56 PM, December 14th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Tred

In case you are not watching, Navy 17 Army 0 at the half in what looks like a blizzard.

Funny, I never cared for the ring-thumpers (academy grads) when I was active duty. But for some reason, this football game means something to me.

Oh well, back to your regularly scheduled programming...


Infidelity sucks shit

Posts: 879 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Finding my way
Tred
♂ Member
Member # 34086
Default  Posted: 4:04 PM, December 14th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

RSU,

I'm so watching it. Funny story: left Australia for a new company in 2002. Since I've been with the company, Navy hasn't lost to Army. Which is sweet because my next on the food chain is ex West Point. I relish letting him know this every year. It will end at some point, but not tonight I hope. Go Navy!

As an aside - my son is working on Annapolis. Can't wait to see him in those stands on a cold winter day - win or lose.


Married: 16 years (14 @JFO)
D-Day: 11/09/11
"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)

Posts: 3305 | Registered: Dec 2011
Ascendant
♂ Member
Member # 38303
Default  Posted: 5:00 PM, December 14th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The thing is as human beings we have (IMO) a responsibility to other human beings to not be a total shit. Without this laws would have no purpose and all would fall into anarchy.

So I hate the mother fucker.

This is exactly my thought on it. I didn't make any vows regarding maiming and killing to anyone, but it's still wrong, even taking the law out of the equation.


“Anyone who has a continuous smile on his face conceals a toughness that is almost frightening.”

Posts: 1616 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Illinois
sunsetslost
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Member # 39885
Default  Posted: 5:14 PM, December 14th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

MC_Jack: Clearwater, FL. I'll spend my days floating on a noodle in the Gulf of Mexico, watching those magical sunsets. There's a family condo that will be available hopefully spring or summer. Right now I'm hiding out in TN saving my dollars.

I went to a shooting range in Tampa on vacation with a friend. He had a zombie target that I swear to you looked exactly like STBX. All my shots were grouped around the left breast. My friend said "You liked the left one, huh?" I said "No. I liked the right one. That's why I left it alone"


D Day: 6/13/13
Moving on. Every Single Day.

Posts: 493 | Registered: Jul 2013
stillprettyupset
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Member # 41286
Default  Posted: 10:10 PM, December 14th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Razor, Couldn't agree more. Laws rely on people agreeing to voluntarily submit. When they don't, some asshat cuts you off in traffic only to get stuck in the flow and jam on the breaks so you rear end him and he falls out of the car rolling around on the pavement wailing and holding his neck as you begin dragging him to his feet the cops pull up and take you to jail for abusing the victim which turns into charges of intimidation, domestic terrorism, and a hate crime so you sit in Gitmo as an unprivileged belligerent and wonder when a just and loving god will send that dude to be your cell mate for the next few decades of uninterrupted anger transference.


Me: 42
WW: 36
Latest D-day: Sept 2013
Reconciling? Limbo?

Posts: 96 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: NE Ohio
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 11:08 PM, December 14th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Scared of the consequences fp

I think this then. What if we let it go? What if we let consequences go, since we're true to ourselves...

Told written typed with banging fingers in truth, snotted wrinkles...
We were true?
Then I'd say hold to that.
That way you'd be able to tell others
a truth.
at least a truth your shaking fingers type


Posts: 6021 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
StillGoing
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Member # 28571
Default  Posted: 12:01 AM, December 15th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That was a GOOD FUCKING BEER.

Also, I want to say: I love my wife. She is fun, sexy and awesome, and I am glad she pulled her head out of her ass.

eta:

Götterdämmerung (About this sound pronunciation (help·info); Twilight of the Gods)[1] is the last in Richard Wagner's cycle of four operas titled Der Ring des Nibelungen (The Ring of the Nibelung, or The Ring for short). It received its premiere at the Bayreuth Festspielhaus on 17 August 1876, as part of the first complete performance of the Ring.

The title is a translation into German of the Old Norse phrase Ragnarök, which in Norse mythology refers to a prophesied war among various beings and gods that ultimately results in the burning, immersion in water, and renewal of the world. However, as with the rest of the Ring, Wagner's account diverges significantly from his Old Norse sources.

The term Götterdämmerung is occasionally used in English to refer to a disastrous conclusion of events.

That is the brewmaster Fuck You to nature.

Really good IPA if you like the hoppy brews.

[This message edited by StillGoing at 12:02 AM, December 15th (Sunday)]


“Fate is a fickle bitch who dotes on irony.”

Posts: 7116 | Registered: May 2010 | From: USA
slater13
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Member # 39008
Default  Posted: 1:02 AM, December 15th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Tough time of year for me as well. It was '08. Back before all the great software on iMac's. I culled through hundreds of our photos on Cd's from walgreens and spent $80 on software to make a video of my wife's first 5 years as a mother. All the kid's pics. All the sappy music. I literally spent about 100 hours on the 15 minute video for her gift for Christmas.

Meanwhile, sometime around mid-December, while I was in the midst of my work, she flew to LA for a work Christmas Party. She got drunk, went back to the hotel bar, danced and drank more then fucked her colleague. Because he "followed her to her room". It was the start of a 3 yr LTA, because why not, the damn had been broken.

I used to have this child like wonderment of the holidays. It was a time to reflect on the blessings and see the good in people. Now I struggle to get her a gift that isn't a bag full of shit.

[This message edited by slater13 at 1:06 AM, December 15th (Sunday)]


The choices we make reveal the true nature of our character

Posts: 153 | Registered: Apr 2013
Justgreatnews
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Member # 41666
Default  Posted: 7:41 AM, December 15th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm new here, sadly, and haven't read all 29 pages of this thread. I recently confirmed that my wife had an affair with a co-worker many years ago.

I called the man, and invited him to meet me in a desolate parking lot to settle things. I expected him to back down, but was surprised at the way he collapsed into completely sissy-hood.

I called him a coward, afraid, spineless, everything I could halfway calmly think of to try and coax him into facing me. No luck.

I told him repeatedly the only way we'd meet was by mutual agreement. Man to man. He threatened to get a protective order against me. I told him to get a skirt while he was at it.

Anyway, has anyone managed to get any satisfaction out of the other man?

For what its worth, my wife is handling things in a textbook fashion, doing all the right things. She ended this years ago.


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