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Newest Member: Elizablue (43208)

New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Match.com....is it worth the trouble?
bufffalo
♂ Member
Member # 21854
Default  Posted: 5:31 PM, November 16th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

OK guys and gals....have a few questions about match.com. Help me out here...is match.com a hassle...did ya meet any "decent" people....a bunch of players and gold diggers? how high is the bullshit level?

Been "not in a relationship" since June and thought i'd give it a whirl....oh...im not a kid....pushing 60 a little harder than i'd like.....but getting a bit tired of my cooking....KWIM?

Would love to hear the pros and cons...

thanks...

Bufffalo


DDay 9/25/2008
R started 11/10/08
BH-me

Posts: 5782 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: Texas
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 6:18 PM, November 16th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

CON: You won't find me on match.com.

Con: You won't find me there because I found my now-EX had a profile there and I realized how easy it would be to lie & make a profile filled with falsehoods. If he can do it, so can others. I assume women lie as much as men do.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 elementary school-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 8778 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
damncutekitty
♀ Member
Member # 5929
Default  Posted: 6:19 PM, November 16th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So many people meet online these days it seems hard to find a couple who didn't.

Match is not the only site out there, too. If you don't like that one, try another.


Keep calm and carry on.

Posts: 49406 | Registered: Nov 2004 | From: Minneapolis
SeanFLA
♂ Member
Member # 32380
Default  Posted: 7:25 PM, November 16th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's like anything else, you get out of it what you put into it. Just have tough skin because you may message a lot of women and they won't reply. Why?...I'm not sure. Especially if you're a decent guy that doesn't appear crazy, etc. But know I believe many women (sorry to offend the ladies on here but it's my experience) on there really aren't all that interested in dating unless George Clooney comes along. Or they are expecting him when y'all meet. It's either that or they really just don't have the time to date but are on there anyhow. Maybe just to look...who knows. Trust me when I say your success rate is probabably going to be less then 2%. In that I mean actually contacting 100 woman, enough reply, five agree to meet and you wind up actually dating two of them consistantly at any given time.

I did meet my gf on there 1.5 years ago and honestly it was probably the best first date I've ever had in my life....including exWW. We stayed out until 3:30am...and then again the next night and a few weekends after that. Can't remember the last time I was out that late so many weekends. We've had our ups and downs learning about one another. We've even taken a break for a few months at one point. Just have fun with an open attitude and stick with it.


BS(me) 47
WW 46
1 son 14 yrs old
Married 18 yrs, together 21 yrs

"You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have." ~ Bob Marley


Posts: 1361 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: Zombie Land
PhantomLimb
♀ Member
Member # 39668
Default  Posted: 7:31 PM, November 16th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've never tried it-- but my best friend met his W on OKCupid last year. They swear by that site. They keep telling me that if I don't make a profile on it, they will.


BS / D

Posts: 785 | Registered: Jun 2013
downunder
♀ Member
Member # 16631
Default  Posted: 7:45 PM, November 16th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

A nurse is in a coma as of yesterday, in Melbourne, Australia, they think she met her attacker on RSVP.

Also in the paper was a picture of a guy who murdered his girlfriend. He looked like a really nice guy, friendly face!

I think OLD is much riskier for women.

I have tried it briefly, living in a small town it seems like everyone's crazy ex is on there. Even a couple of friends who met their match online have said they can see why these guys ended up divorced. The same issues are still there.

What about talking to people in real life and asking them out? That's what I'm looking for in a guy.




Posts: 609 | Registered: Oct 2007
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 8:15 PM, November 16th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What about talking to people in real life and asking them out? That's what I'm looking for in a guy.

Me too.

ETA: Or, hell's bells, maybe I'll ask him out.

[This message edited by Nature_Girl at 8:15 PM, November 16th (Saturday)]


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 elementary school-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 8778 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
NaiveAgain
♀ Member
Member # 20849
Default  Posted: 8:30 PM, November 16th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have to do the real life thing too. I need to feel somewhat comfortable with someone before I will even go out with them, which is why I can't do OLD. Plus, my WS was (and probably still is) on as many sites as he could get on, lying thru his teeth about stuff, and he comes off as a wonderful person at first. I do know it has worked for some though, so I guess it is up to whether you want to deal with the drama and whackos you may have to wade thru before you find the decent needle in the haystack.


Original WS D-Day July 10, 2008. Kept lying, he is gone.
New WS (2 EA's, no PA) 12-3-13
If you don't like where you are, then change it. You are not a tree.

Posts: 14912 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: Ohio
lifestoshort
♀ Member
Member # 18442
Default  Posted: 9:37 PM, November 16th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I tried both but I met my soon to be ex H on there and now that I know his bs lies, I dont think i will believe much of anything on there. I do browse at times just to see whos out there, all over the world but mostly creeps. ugly creeps w beers in hand :(


6/07 EX had several Emotional/sexual A
FALSE Reconciles. cheats again. D 5/09
2013- 10 month marriage &D to friend. he was a lyin, freeloadn biploar mess.
NOW? Living my life and loving it.


Posts: 660 | Registered: Mar 2008
cmego
♀ Member
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 11:02 PM, November 16th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have met some decent guys on Match, I think it is totally worth the trouble. You just have to take it (like everything) with a grain of salt. It doesn't happen instantly, and I think if you go in just looking to meet new people, it takes the pressure off.

I do receive a LOT of emails I am not interested in. For ME, I will look at a profile and respond if the email is pleasant, required a little thought into it, isn't creepy (one just emailed me that he prayed I would wait for him….), and in my age range.

Have some GOOD photos up, I want to see clear photos. Have something funny and interesting in your profile, things you like to do, etc. I want to be able to think, "Oh yeah…me too!".

I do think there are lots of people on there for the wrong reason, it is just a matter of wading through a little and not taking it too seriously.


me...BS, 43 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, separated 3 years, together 17
Alis volat propriis "She flies with her own wings"
separated 1/2011

Posts: 3608 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Virginia
Fireball72
♀ Member
Member # 20152
Default  Posted: 11:09 PM, November 16th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

In my experience, OLD was a "needle in a haystack" situation. I just happened to get REALLY lucky and find the needle.

I had my profile up on OKCupid for THREE YEARS before I found someone that I really liked (in other words, my current H, heh).

I do want to mention that it's helpful if you update it every so often. My profile was up for a long time, but I kept it updated every three months or so - new pictures, maybe some new information, etc. Each time I updated, I got new "hits" and the dance started all over again, heh.

That's really the secret, as cmego said - you cannot, cannot, CANNOT take OLD seriously. That's a certain way to have hurt feelings. When I used it, I would go out on a date, enjoy the movie or dinner or whatever, and that would be the end of it for me unless I felt a certain spark that I would want to pursue it further, or if they called me first (which sometimes happened). Otherwise... eh. It was a date. It was a night where I wasn't in bed reading or curled up with my kittehs.

Some guys I went out with... yeah, I would have RATHER been curled up with my kittehs!

I never tried Match or any pay sites (mainly because it didn't matter that much that I'd fork out money, heh), but OLD is worth a shot, surely. I know lots that have had luck with it, myself included. But... be sure you're ready. Thick skin is a must.

Good luck.


XBS - 42 and fabulous :D
I may not say much, but I'm always happy to be of help to anyone in need. :)

Posts: 594 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: The Chesapeake Bay
fraeuken
♀ Member
Member # 30742
Default  Posted: 11:17 PM, November 16th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have tried Match.com and I am done with it as I am with the other sites I tried. I simply must attract nut cases - I had everything from total stalker to poofers and scammers.

I prefer to meet people in person; not that easy because I don't approach people ever and I don't pursue if I like somebody (except for xSO and see where that got me).


Temporarily independent with the whole world at my feet.

Posts: 1160 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: California
Saleschick
♀ Member
Member # 39772
Default  Posted: 1:59 AM, November 17th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Once you get some info on the guy. You can google and look up their Facebook and LinkedIn pages to make sure they are legit. So far all the basic facts (jobs, marital status, kids, etc ) have been except I had 2 guys fudge their age. They are older than their online profile. Good Luck!

Posts: 72 | Registered: Jul 2013
259
♀ Member
Member # 22860
Default  Posted: 2:33 AM, November 17th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm in a different country, but I have been on Match a couple of times and I ended up dating two off there (not at the same time lol) and they were 'normal' guys, and I have stayed friends with them both.

give it a shot - nothing to lose except a little time sifting through.

but maybe remember the SI motto - trust but verify. there IS quite a few odd (being polite) people out there


Me = FBS
Him = gone


things that happen in my life do not define who I am. I get to choose to be the best I can be, for me. cause I'm worth it.


Posts: 286 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: my happy place (most of the time)
stronger08
♂ Member
Member # 16953
Default  Posted: 3:19 AM, November 17th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I tried it once. I do not have anything good to say about it. Took out 3 different women who turned out to be disasters in the making. One who I thought was pretty cool turned out to be M. I was S at the time and told her my tale of woe. She seemed sympathetic to my situation. On the third date she dropped the bomb on me saying she was M, but it was OK because she and her H had an open M. I remember dropping my fork at dinner, throwing some cash on the table to cover the bill and left. She even had the nerve to try and contact me many times after that. That ended my OLD experience. But I guess for some it might work. I know a few people who met their spouses OL. They seem happy, so I guess it can work for certain folks.


You cant eat soup with chopsticks.

Posts: 5434 | Registered: Nov 2007
aLadypilot
♀ Member
Member # 1822
Default  Posted: 9:38 AM, November 17th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It can be worth the trouble. I met my husband on Match.

I met a few very nice men, no real weirdos. I had a good experience. You just never know unless you try.


Divorced 9/2010
Just married 7/4/13

Posts: 4078 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Twin Cities
timeforchange
♀ Member
Member # 27454
Default  Posted: 9:45 AM, November 17th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hell yes!!!!!

Have Just spent a truly lovely weekend with my SO of 10 months.... We met on match. As we often say about each other ....."best thing we've ever bought on the Internet"

I think my best advice is show the person you are. Write a detailed profile. When a guy takes time to write back in detail and mentions different things from your profile you know he has actually read it


Me = BS aged 43
2 boys, 13 and 9
DDay 1/19/10
Confronted him 2/16/10
Finally Divorced 8/29/12

“We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us.”


Posts: 725 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Expats in Europe
justabrokendream
♀ Member
Member # 3075
Default  Posted: 9:55 AM, November 17th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I never had much luck. Plus I'm over 50 and won't lie on the age bracket so I'm out of the range of the main search on there (Age).

Once in a while I'd get a hit by a 20 year old who probably thought I was some cougar - no thanks... Most of the men my age appear to be looking for 20-30 somethings.

So no - it was not worth the trouble or time for me.


Posts: 283 | Registered: Jan 2004 | From: CA
bufffalo
♂ Member
Member # 21854
Default  Posted: 11:24 AM, November 17th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks....never tried this "on line" dating thing......thought i'd give it a whirl. thanks again...

Bufffalo


DDay 9/25/2008
R started 11/10/08
BH-me

Posts: 5782 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: Texas
thyme2go
♂ Member
Member # 12908
Default  Posted: 12:12 PM, November 17th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thumbs up! 100% positive for me. Though, I am chosing to give up on dating for the time being. Match has nothing to do with it - too busy IRL.

-t2g



BH - no longer 48
3 DD's - (27, 24 and 17)
Divorced on 8/6/09

Posts: 9144 | Registered: Dec 2006 | From: Eastern Washington
Topic Posts: 31
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