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Divorce/Separation     Print Topic    
User Topic: Abbondad Part 5
Leia
♀ Member
Member # 42510
Default  Posted: 9:12 PM, April 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just started reading your thread and following. Glad you got your D, and well, I, too am anxiously awaiting the details.


"Somebody get this walking carpet out of my way." Princess Leia, Star Wars

Posts: 296 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: Kansas
Lalokau
♀ New Member
Member # 4724
Default  Posted: 10:57 PM, April 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't know what I will do without reading the daily AD update


Me: BW
Him: WS
Two kids aged 25 and 24.
We are now divorced.

Posts: 46 | Registered: Jun 2004 | From: Australia
tushnurse
♀ Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 8:47 AM, April 2nd (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ok I know I'm speaking for more than myself when I say I'm standing here with my arms crossed, and impatiently tapping my foot.

Out with the details friend!!!


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 7790 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
hexed
♀ Member
Member # 19258
Default  Posted: 8:59 AM, April 2nd (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

^^^^^^^THIS^^^^^^^


But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler


Posts: 8405 | Registered: Apr 2008
little turtle
♀ Member
Member # 15584
Default  Posted: 9:08 AM, April 2nd (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Will post later with all the details :-)

I hope this isn't the same as DS posting pictures "tomorrow" in F&G.


Failure is success if we learn from it.

Posts: 4131 | Registered: Aug 2007 | From: michigan
Abbondad
♂ Member
Member # 37898
Default  Posted: 9:16 AM, April 2nd (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi, Everyone,

I'm sorry to keep you in such suspense. Such a busy day yesterday after court--and I had my kids. At the end of the evening I fell asleep with them and slept more peacefully than I have in months.

Court turned out to be fairly anti-climactic. Even though her attorney's final Email indicated that CSTBX was terrified of facing the judge (or worse, trial) and was ready to accept the MSA we'd negotiated on, rather than the one to which she added even more unacceptable terms and language, I was still skeptical. But sign she did.

She arrived at the courthouse with her POS. In two years I'd never laid eyes on him, having only seen one picture of him at a distance.

I was quite stunned and amused. Talk about affairing down! My ex is quite beautiful (and I don't say that through a subjective lens; she was a model, nude and otherwise, and still could be. Just strikingly attractive--albeit with a black heart). And if I can be slightly immodest, I happen to be handsome, and 6'3".

This guy is a troll, truly: short, bald, no chin, sloping shoulders. (No offense to anyone who fits this description. Just indulge me;-) She looms over him by a good three inches (she is 5'10"). I must admit, the fact that he is ugly does not hurt.

I did not even acknowledge his presence. When I walked over to them to look over the MSA, towering over him, he slunk away and stood nervously at a distance for the remainder of the time.

I did not speak to her, and I met her eyes only once. She was looking at me with tears in her eyes--but then quickly tossed her head back haughtily, having clearly remembered that she was supposed to hate me. It was childishly obvious and laughable. But also sad. She is clearly terribly unhappy.

We proceeded into the courtroom, and it was pretty cut-and-dry. She was a nervous wreck, answering the judge's standard questions in a barely audible, quavering voice. After, my attorney and I got up, walked past them, and left. I gave my attorney a hug and she said, "If you don't mind, I am going to take a week's vacation from this case." (I love her!)

Oh, and ex's attorney came up to me and apologized! I didn't catch the last word of what she said: "I just want to tell you how sorry I am for...." Something. I said, "You are not the first."

(I don't know if my response made sense.)

Her attorney is filing a motion to withdraw.

As I said before, I feel strong and vindicated. Only distantly sad. I have to get used to not feeling anxious about her doing something to derail or sabotage the divorce. It will take some time.

She texted me twice to ask the children to call her for goodnight. This is pointless communication, as they both have phones and she is capable of calling them directly. (In fact, it was she who insisted on getting them their own phones, as she "did not want to go through me." Her words.)

I have ignored all her texts and phone messages and will continue to do so; there still remains the matter of the house closing, which is scheduled for April 24 at the latest. I am still leery that this is her last chance to regain control and will pull something. Thus I am staying strictly NC. But she has, thus far, been signing all documents.

The MSA is acceptable. She must pay retroactive CS, all funds she owes me, medical reimbursements for the kids, and $3000.00 lump sum alimony. All-in-all she must pay me around $14,000.00. CS will be paid through the state system.

Some of this will be given to me from her profits from the home sale, leaving her with nothing--and then more to pay me from whatever is not covered.

She also faces a lien from her previous attorney, which, according to her soon-to-be-ex attorny, "she plans to challenge." How she would accomplish this remains a mystery; and what attorney would represent her? And how would HE be paid? Her hole grows deeper.

She is still unemployed. All her unemployment will go to me until she acquires a job.

A ton of heavy stuff remains in the home, which she has to remove. I assume she will hire a moving company, for if she has her POS enter the premises I will immediately call the police. (I still have exclusive use and possession of the home until closing.) I do not doubt she will have the audacity to ask/order me to help her move. Fuck that.

Everyone, I simply cannot thank you enough. I want to identify so many of you by name, but, as they say at the Oscars, I do not want to forget anyone, so I will just say, Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all your wisdom, support, and 2x4s. This has been the worst nightmare of my life, but the hardest part is finally over.


Divorced April Fool's Day 2014

Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
-Dune


Posts: 1571 | Registered: Dec 2012
Jduff
♂ Member
Member # 41988
Default  Posted: 9:29 AM, April 2nd (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

WOW! WHAT AN OUTCOME!

Damn, buddy. I'm so happy for you! Great job!


Me- BS (44)
WW (41)
DS - 9, 12
M - 16yrs

Divorced - 5/23/14


Posts: 395 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: texas
Lalagirl
♀ Member
Member # 14576
Default  Posted: 9:34 AM, April 2nd (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow. Just wow. I am so happy for you!

I can't wait to see your posts in New Beginnings!


Me - 49; FWH - 51
Married 30 years 9/2/13
2 grown daughters-30 & 26
5yo GS & 18 mo. GD & GB #4 due 8/14(DD30) and 2yo GD(DD26). D-day #1 - 1/06; D-day #2 - 3/07
Reconciled! Construction Complete.

Posts: 4950 | Registered: May 2007
Merlin
♂ Member
Member # 30221
Default  Posted: 9:43 AM, April 2nd (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"Now this is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning."
Sir Winston Churchill, Speech in November 1942
British politician (1874 - 1965)

The beginning of your new life!

It will not be all sunshine and daisies, especially with an ex-w like yours.

But congratulations Abbondad!


"I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself. A bird will fall frozen dead from a bough without ever having felt sorry for itself." D. H. Lawrence

Her: WW/57 Me: BS/63 24yrs M
3 great kids, now 22, 20, 17 b,b,g
D-Day 8/14/08, D 1/13/11


Posts: 1164 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: East Coast
BtraydWife
♀ Member
Member # 42581
Default  Posted: 10:24 AM, April 2nd (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well that's on less big thing. I hope you do find more peace from not constantly being jerked around with the divorce. I agree to not count your chickens on the house closing just yet and of course she will jerk you around with the kids as much as she's able to.

You've done good. You deserve this large release from the crazy circus you were tied to. I'm sorry it had to be like this for you.


Me-BW
Him-WH
DD-March 2010
TT for 6 months

Delay is the deadliest form of denial. - C. Northcote Parkinson


Posts: 688 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: United States
GabyBaby
♀ Member
Member # 26928
Default  Posted: 10:29 AM, April 2nd (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Outstanding, AD!!!!!!!!!!!!
Congrats and I hope this is the start of a peaceful and wonderful life with your kids.


Me - 42
SorryInSac - WH#2 - 47. DDay 7/12/14
Married 4yrs, together 7yrs total

DD(21), DS(18, PDD-NOS)
5 Furkids (3 Dogs, 2 Cats)

WXH (serial cheater, 12+ OW)
Legally married 18yrs, together 16.5yrs

Note: I edit often for typos/clarity.


Posts: 6052 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: California
Jrazz
♀ Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 10:31 AM, April 2nd (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Abbondad)))

I think my tagline is for you today. Congratulations on your legal freedom from this mess. Sending you and the kiddos big hugs.


We are what we repeatedly do, excellence, then is not an act but a habit. - Aristotle

Posts: 16312 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
deeplysad
♀ Member
Member # 16590
Default  Posted: 10:36 AM, April 2nd (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Congratulations on such a positive outcome.

Through out this horrible situation, you have handled yourself with grace and class. Sometimes the "good guys" do actually win!!


Me: BW - I'm much too young to feel this damn old
Him: FWH - Midlife crisis with a pathetic porn wannabe
D-Day: August 2004; Lots of false R until February 2005.

It takes all kinds of kinds....Miranda Lambert


Posts: 3211 | Registered: Oct 2007 | From: So Calif
5454real
♂ Member
Member # 37455
Default  Posted: 10:38 AM, April 2nd (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


BH 51, WW 42
DS 23(Mine),SD 21,SS 20(Hers),DS 9 Ours, DGS 3, DGD 1 mo
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 10yrs
“I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone.”
― Sophocles, Antigone

Posts: 2540 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: midwest
Mikey56
♂ Member
Member # 38063
Default  Posted: 10:39 AM, April 2nd (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Way to go AD!!!!

You deserve a Medal.

Peace...


Posts: 113 | Registered: Jan 2013
marlie2014
♀ Member
Member # 40981
Default  Posted: 12:03 PM, April 2nd (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I congratulate you, truly. I've been following your threads for a while.


BS: 33
WS: 35 and definitely SA
Married: 9 years
1 stepchild, now 18 years old
DDay: 9/2/2013
ONS: Multiples over at least a 6-year period, at least twenty
1 OC 5 yrs old and another on the way (by different ONS)
DIVORCED AND FREE!!!!

Posts: 209 | Registered: Oct 2013
Klove
♀ Member
Member # 42096
Default  Posted: 12:06 PM, April 2nd (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Teary reading this.


"But stand still is all I did
Love like ours is never fixed
Still I stuck around
I did behave
I saved you every time
I was a fool for love
I was a fool for love"

Posts: 294 | Registered: Jan 2014
Undefinabl3
♀ Member
Member # 36883
Default  Posted: 12:09 PM, April 2nd (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

All her unemployment will go to me until she acquires a job.

BWAHAHAHHAAAA....best part of your post right there. Her dumbass quit her job so that she wouldn't have to pay higher CS, and now she is losing the unemployment she would have got HAHAHHA....

I am SO glad that this is finally over for you. I wish you even more strength for your future child rearing years and having to deal with her.


Me: 31 MH
Him: 37 MH
New online find 6/19/14 - shit

Posts: 1683 | Registered: Sep 2012
tushnurse
♀ Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 12:18 PM, April 2nd (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yipee, Yahoo, and Congrats!!!

Jrazz that was a perfect quote, from Mr Eliot.

Now AD after we all get a chance to say Hurrah to you. I believe it will be time to start a new thread in the New Beginnings portion of our forum.

I really am so very proud of you. I remember way back before you found your strength, the shit you were tolerating, and the pain you were enduring. I remember get so angry because you were continuing to allow fear of the unknown paralyze you and prevent you from doing the right thing for you and your kids.

Look at you now!!! Strong, Confident, Happy, Secure, a new place for a new start. Good Guys don't always finish last and for that I am very happy.

Congrats again my friend!


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 7790 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 12:31 PM, April 2nd (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9238 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
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